#1
So in biology we are studying viruses and stuff, and one of our assignments was to create a fake virus and write a short story about it. So I did what naturally anyone in the pit would do, and made it be a zombie virus. LOL. I borrowed the name from Max Brooks' book The Zombie Survival Guide, just in case anyone notices. So I threw this story together in about 45 minutes or so, and I just wanna see what you pit monkeys think. Good crit, bad crit, you call it. How well do you think I'm gonna do on this? Also, no "tl;dr' please.

There, im editing this with (good) crits for the actual paper, GORDON FREEMAN for the lulz.


Solanum
The Mysterious Killer
Rylan Nitzschke



This virus was discovered in the late 1930s in an ice cavern in Antarctica, during a routine scientific expedition. The scientists discovered what looked to be the remains of an old wooden ship, circa the early 1600s or so, that had blown off course and ended up frozen in the ice. The crew of the ship had been fairly well preserved, their lifeless bodies frozen on and below the deck of the ship. But something was peculiar about the way the bodies were; they all seemed to have been in some sort of fight while the ship was sailing off. Many of the crew had bite marks somewhere on their bodies, and some were completely torn apart. The scientists suspected cannibalism. So they decided to bring two of the bodies with them to analyze when they returned. On the ship back to their home, America, they kept the bodies on ice, as to preserve them. But once they got into their labs and the bodies began to unthaw is when the noticed something really strange.

The scientists discovered a new type of virus in the frozen blood of the explorers, a dark red and black pathogen that attacked the cells by injecting its DNA into them. And when it would do that, they learned, the pathogen would travel very quickly, straight to the brain, where they discovered, the frontal lobes of the explorer’s brains were completely dissolved, or gone, and a completely new “organ” had grown in its place. They could not determine the origin of this virus, or where it came from or how it spread, but they realized that it could be devastating if it ever were released on the general public. So the scientists took more blood samples and put the bodies back on ice, in a large freezer.

While one of the blood samples was being brought to another lab for further examination, the scientist with it dropped the test tube it was in, and it broke on the floor. Not wanting to waste time with getting things to clean it, he just decided to pick up the pieces of it. Unfortunately, a shard of glass cut his skin, and he started bleeding. A few hours later, he had come down with a horrible fever, similar to the flu, and doctors began to see his body shutting down. First his motor skills went, followed by speech skills. A few hours later, he became quadriplegic, as his muscles discontinued working. After that, he went into a coma from which he would never come back. The doctors declared him dead at 3 am the next morning. Five minutes later, he would awaken and sit up.

As the doctors were discussing the cause of death, they heard one of the nurses scream, and they ran to her. Her arm was covered in blood where an obvious bite wound was, and from the room where the man had died, he came walking out, face covered in blood, glazed over eyes, and a throaty moan expelling from his mouth. He began walking toward the doctors, and one of them tried pushing him away, and was bitten in the process. GORDON FREEMAN witnessed this, and immediately drew his CROWBAR out and hit him in the chest. The man stumbled, and then began to slowly come towards them again. GORDON FREEMAN hit 6 more times, to no avail. Then he hit him in the head, and the man dropped for good. The doctor and the nurse were rushed to intensive care, as they had developed fevers. The other scientists immediately autopsied the man GORDON FREEMAN had killed, and saw that his frontal lobe was missing, dissolved and replaced with a completely new organ. But they had no idea that this new organ would reanimate the already deceased corpse. Their worst fear had come true. The virus was unleashed. From down the hall where the bitten doctor and nurse were being kept, a scream was heard.
Last edited by TheClincher at Apr 22, 2008,
#2
Needs more crowbars.
Quote by Beakwithteeth
What a coincidence one time I ****ed your cousin in the eye.
#3
I like it.

*settles in with popcorn*
Is it a bad thing if one of your testicles is larger then the other two?
#5
Quote by FireandFlames
Bacteriophages infect bacteria.

OH SHI---


haha how would i go about changin that?
#6
i have that book
very good read
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Listen to ExtremeMetalFTW, he knows what he is talking about...

Quote by vmanoman
I clicked System Restore and it said "System Restore Is Unable To Protect You".

^^SO KVLT!!
#7
Quote by TheClincher
OH SHI---


haha how would i go about changin that?

Change it to pathogen. That would work out better.
#9
Quote by FireandFlames
Change it to pathogen. That would work out better.

there, now check it out.
#12
Quote by InvaderTSN
Where does Gordon Freeman fit in this story?

do you mean Morgan?
Quote by TunerAddict,mdawg24
+Infinity

Listen to ExtremeMetalFTW, he knows what he is talking about...

Quote by vmanoman
I clicked System Restore and it said "System Restore Is Unable To Protect You".

^^SO KVLT!!
#14
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW
do you mean Morgan?
Gordon Freeman - protagonist of the Half-Life video game series. It features zombie-like creatures.
#15
Quote by FireandFlames
Gordon Freeman is from Half Life

oh...
pardon my ignorance
i am not familiar with Half Life or its characters
Quote by TunerAddict,mdawg24
+Infinity

Listen to ExtremeMetalFTW, he knows what he is talking about...

Quote by vmanoman
I clicked System Restore and it said "System Restore Is Unable To Protect You".

^^SO KVLT!!
#17
haha. five minutes ago this had 15 views. and now it has 125 lololol. any moar crits for me? (besides ones relating to gordon freeman)
#18
You can't really say dark red and black pathogen either. You need an EM to see a virus particle and they come out black and white. Any colour you see in pictures is photoshopped in to highlight different structures.

edit: also, it's incorrect to say the DNA spreads quickly. Once a virus invades a cell it replicates like mad and lyses the cell releasing the replicated virus particles. Each particle then infects a new cell.

You might just want to say "the pathogen quickly spread to the brain".
Last edited by freedoms_stain at Apr 22, 2008,
#21
Needs a bit of sex in there. Can Gordo go happy time with one of the zombies? Then he could be infected. Makes a good two parter story.
Hurp De Durp