#1
I Wrote this after listening to californication. I hope its good. First day so its a rough draft. Ill record once i get better equipment hehe. Im also guna try to write lyrics but for now lets see what the critics think. Leave a link to ur song and i'd gladly critic it. C4C

Thnx a bunch, Pointers and advice are welcome!, And i think needed lol.
Attachments:
Catchy song.zip
Click My Library to see what I've written

My Library
#2
You really need to change the 7 5 octave chord in measures 31, 27, and 24, bring it up a half step, it is dissonant with the chord behind it. Also another complaint of mine is that it never really calms down or anything. Also the piccolo gets EXTREMELY XBOX HUEG LOUD at one part. Overall it seemed a pretty solid song, bass is pretty good, guitar is kinda catchy. Doesn't remind me of RHCP though.

6.75/10 Pretty good
#3
Well, work with some drums first...
The intro riff was cool, but after the second guitar kicks in, it sounds too clashy, you may wanna change the instrument (to maybe an acoustic), or change the strumming and chords (they sound somewhat dissonant, and override the main riff), or both....

Well, if it is inspired in RHCP you may add some more work on that bass , make it louder, and add some more melody to it, and be sure to use it in most of the piece (in the end it wasn't even used).
The piccolo seemed out of place at times, like too loud, and too low in others (and maybe change the harmonies a bit, and make it a little bit more melodious)...

21 was unexpected, you should make something lead to it, not make it a surprise attack. Also, if you are trying chords in a distorted guitar, don't use too many notes at once, or at least not in guitar pro, because sounds too cashy as I said earlier...

38, another unexpectant bit. Get rid of the piccolo in there, is too loud, unexpectant, and unecessary IMO. Also the pre-solo bit, as with the strumming part, make the piece lead to it, don't make it come out of nowhere (and maybe check the harmonies too, including the bends and chords used)...
THe solo was fine, kind of weird, like in 43, and maybe add something more to 40, as it leaves the solo hunged, it seems some notes are missing....

But I have to say, the main riff is very catchy

The main guitar is flawless, just change a bit everything else, and add drums, and it should be set...


Wanna crit mine?
CHoose any from my sig..
#4
Like i said before, i dont have GP so im listening to the midi.

First things first. The part at 1:32 confused me, and at first scared the hell outta me cuz i was resting my head. Im trying to hear past everything other than the main guitar so i can hear the main guitar, and the main guitar sounds great. Sometimes the second guitar clashes with the main though and the part at 0:50 (chord part) doesnt sound right with distorted guitar and that many strings involved on GP or PTB, perhaps hit less notes. The very last riff (slow-ish riff) cuts off too soon, i'd double that riff and then play the chord, with less notes on that chords too. Finally, the piccolo (thru my ears) doesnt fit in with the song at all.

The main guiataro is very catchy, but drums would make it much better (not that i ever use them...or CAN). 7.5/10
#5
I agree with the guy who said that the bass needs to me more active if it's emulating RHCP.

I liked when the second guitar came in, but it does sound kinda "clashy", again like someone else has said. Speaking from experience, it's really hard to find the right sound for the mood you're trying to make, and when it doesn't happen it's really frustrating

I wasn't digging the piccolo at all, but other than that, I liked this song, especially the verses with all the guitars playing. Just work on those guitar sounds to make each one more distinct.
#6
I agree with others about the piccolo, I say ditch it. Other than that I think you should end the solo on the E flat and not have it slide down to the D.

I would criticise it more, but to be honest, I really liked it. I see where others are coming from about the chords clashing, and I suppose you could work on that, but personally I quite liked it. In a weird way it gave the piece a feel I can't explain, but I actually quite liked.

And if you were intending to emulate the Chilis, you are pretty far off, but by 'inspired' I assume you just mean you got the idea whilst listening to there music etc. (you know what I mean).

Oh and at the end you could maybe have a ritardando, it would be nice to have it just gradually slow around there.

All in all I really liked it, and what others saw as flaws I actually quite liked. Personally I say just ditch the piccolo, add in a drum track, maybe a few extra little adjustments and it's there.
Last edited by Regression at May 16, 2008,
#7
After listening to your song, I can conclude that the piece flows together pretty well. I really like the main riff of the song. If you would have added drums, I think the piece would have been a lot better. Also, that part near the end with the piccolo caught me by surprise, but it fit the piece. Good job, man.



Crit mine please? http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=14281196#post14281196
It all makes sense
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#8
The disharmony works if you ask me.
But i would change the lead on bar 26 to play a G# then F# and F going in to the C on bar 27. Or something like that.
But yea, get a bass in over the blank area 21-32.
And please, PLEASE adjust the volume on the piccolo. Its way too load in all the places you use it. Do not remove it though, cause it adds something more to the song, just lower it.
To build on this song, make some more riffs, and add drums. And bass where its missing.

I noticed and error at bar 16. Guese what it is. And if its not an error, thats just wierd.