#1
Forget the war, the election, the whatever for a minute.
It's February 22nd and you wake up five minutes before the alarm.
Forget the rest- this is true loss.
But wait, remember the forecast.
Call the hot-line, hear a man's tried voice
tell you all classes canceled.
Sneak back into snooze sleep.
8 minute dream.
Beep Beep Beep Beep

Now you are leaning so far out the car window
to pump the finger, bare your teeth,
they can see the coffee stains
between the stripes of your tie,
can count your cavities.

It's the same snow as always
but now it's getting up early
to shovel the walkway, shower,
stutter through traffic,
hammer a horn against immobility,
Honk Since You Miss Snow Days.
love dead like a crushed fly

for those of you who said you'd be interested in hearing my lyrics put to music- I started work on recording an album, if you get in touch with me pm or otherwise I'd be more than happy to fill you in
Last edited by less than that at Apr 23, 2008,
#2
Those first threee lines were awesomely brilliant, witty and funny.

The rest was pretty much up there as well.

Although I didn't care for the enjamdment in stanza two, I guess this is a song in the end so you needn't worry. I just thought it read a bit awkwardly.
#4
I agree with Jammydude. That whole 1st stanza was full of a dirty kind of wit. In which you find humour in it, but at the same time you're thinking '****, I know that feeling!'

Also, I like the use of 'you', to really involve the reader, although it's clear that this is happening to you.

Great little piece. I can relate with it.