#1
I've not posted a song for a while but i've been working on some new material. C4C.

Battlecry after the sun sets -

The king sits upon his throne
Evil let thy name be known
And his voice shall echo through the valleys of pain
Beyond the forest where the wolf was slain

Were victims of our own destiny
No reason to lead this life
Will this night ever die?
just a battlecry...
When the sun sets

Trapped inside the magic forest
Me and a raven sang out together
"This tale will go on forever!"

Guide the path of where the snow blows
To a darkened sphere hiding behind space
Let me back to a time where the winds of frost
Blew out the fire that burns in our hearts

Behold the battle magic!
Its so f***ing tragic
Behold the terror of a thousand souls
With seven songs of rejoice

Were victims of our own destiny
No reason to lead this life
Will this night ever die?
just a battlecry...
When the sun sets

And we arise in the darkest hour
We dream of solar winds
they are wrapped in dreams
And clad in memories

The darkness frightens me
Will i ever belong to this symphony of sadness
Can anything cure this madness?

And on a throne far away a raven sits
And it can steal the hearts of men
Its a legacy reborn
Its a frozen thorn!

Were victims of our own destiny
No reason to lead this life
Will this night ever die?
Raise your chalice my brother
Raise it high
To catch the fire that falls from the sky
#3
That wasnt a very helpful comment.
Raise your chalice my brother
Raise it high
To catch the fire that falls from the sky
#4
You've introduced new ideas is if the reader knew they existed before eg. 'where *the* wolf was slain'. Get what I mean? It's a bit annoying. Some of the ideas draw away from the rest of it too, try to write down the story first and then order the ideas around that. They just seem a bit disconnected.

For battle (metal?) lyrics they're not half bad though.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!