#1
*

The theory that women perplex
When discussed can be quite complex
Love me or hate me
Or just want to date me
I can't imagine it's just for the sex

*

On meeting her for the first time
I asked if she wanted some wine
She rejected the chance
So I asked for a dance
That too she also declined

*

The knots in the hair when they wake
Tend to be brushed out like a mistake
On a fine piece of art
Drawn out by a tart
With a drink in her hand as she paints

*

Her meaning seemed crystal and clear
I wasn't to drink any beer
But when I witnessed
Her sip vodka citrus
I forgot how to persevere

*

Half-ten and walking alone
No number to store in my phone
With haste she'd said
She'd rather be dead
Than have to breathe in my cologne

*

Frequently checking the time
Whilst waiting for some divine sign
That the girl on her way
Does not betray
All that she told me online

*

Love; a word or a feeling?
To some it's very appealing
To others it's like
Riding a bike
You fall and you might end up bleeding

*


Fun, excellent fun. C4C. Some of these could be better, but I have a ton more somewhere.

Okay, so I don't bump, please stop posting your own limericks in my thread. This is not a limerick thread, these are my poetry and are here to critique. I appreciate the time you spent clicking on the lin kand reading these over but it is not an invite to post your own work. If you wish, do it in your own damn thread. Thankyou.
Last edited by Jammydude44 at Apr 23, 2008,
#2
Crazy! you should've seen us
it is so fun just being us
but once i did glance
what lay in her pants
dude! my girl's got a great big

seriously though, some of those are pretty cool
#3


What can I say other than thoroughly enjoyable? The flow was perfect, bar a couple where the extra syllable could be excused after putting emphasis on the right word, or whatever (which is fine).

There's not really much to crit, other than to say that they are great fun. You've inspired me to write some, I must say.

My favourite:

"On meeting her for the first time
I asked if she wanted some wine
She rejected the chance
So I asked for a dance
That too she also declined"



I recommend you post the others that you have. I pretty much forgot what a limerick was.

Bad crit, so I owe you one - I guess.
#4
A brave hearted woman named alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her anus in Dallas


or


There was a young girl from Athlone
Who got her ear stuck to the phone
Try as she might
It stayed stuck on tight
And she found she was never alone!

EDIT: I didn't write the first one and my dad wrote the second one.
DOUBLE EDIT: My favourite of yours is this one (see below), very clever I think.

The knots in the hair when they wake
Tend to be brushed out like a mistake
On a fine piece of art
Drawn out by a tart
With a drink in her hand as she paints
Last edited by Icarus Lives at Apr 23, 2008,
#5
Love; a word or a feeling?
To some it's very appealing
To others it's like
Riding a bike
You fall and you might end up bleeding


That was my favorite.

I give you a lot of credit for subverting convention a bit to take on the subject of love. Unlike the morons who posted their pieces, there is a poignant "realness" to what you're writing about. I'd much rather read these then sonnets which is what I would normally formed "love" poetry. Very clever.

Gear:
Partscaster/Tele into a bunch of pedals, a Maz 18 head, and a Z Best cab.
#6
Thanks guys.

I'd much rather read these then sonnets which is what I would normally formed "love" poetry. Very clever.


They are a heck of a lot easier to write, too.
#7
An unusually subtle approach to the limerick. Very clever, very funny, two thumbs up. Some are a little too introspective for limericks (for my taste anyway; I like me a shallow, dirty verse) but still sound really good. Some of your rhymes are off though, like here:

The knots in the hair when they wake
Tend to be brushed out like a mistake
On a fine piece of art
Drawn out by a tart
With a drink in her hand as she paints


The punch line on this one is perfect:

Frequently checking the time
Whilst waiting for some divine sign
That the girl on her way
Does not betray
All that she told me online


Still though, time doesn't rhyme with sign, ya gotta watch those m's and n's! Thanks for making my day start with a smile.
#8
Very whitty. Flows nicely, comical, some good language as well. Not much more to say, I enjoyed it. Kind of a ****ty critique, sorry man. But if you could take a look at my new piece tha'd be great. https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=846862
Quote by ottoavist

i suppose there's a chance
i'm just a litte too shallow to consider
that maybe i've been a little more eager
each day to wake up and take a shower
brush my teeth and smile for the mirror
#9
I enjoyed quite a few of these. Again, it's nice to see some wit in poetry, and very English wit at that.

I honestly can't criticise these little limericks, purely down to the size and that if I complain about one line of it, it ****s the rest up.

So, instead I'll look at your other poem in your signature. But, I'll have to do it tomorrow because I'm a bit busy with revision.
#10
These are great...I love the last one. Seriously hilarious/wonderful idea; I'm more interested in the concept of love limericks than the wording necessarily. The riding a bike one is definitely my favourite, I like how they're all smart with a bit of humour.
Quote by metacarpi
I'd rather post a chat up line with an escape route in case it starts going wrong.

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

*girl looks unimpressed*

"Because it looks like you landed on your face."