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#1
"Screw me sensless" as she has said COUNTLESS times in the past.


Anywho, I speak of a very beloved friend of mine who I have known for five years now through the internet. She lives in West Springfield. For years she has mentioned wanting to screw me senseless. She wants to trap me in her bedroom for hours, tear my clothes off of me, throw me around and "get it on".

She is a very big fan of female domination, mutilation (talks about a huge blade she has that she will use for "special purposes") and bondage which all in all is absolutely superb when considering my quaint tastes. I plan on making a visit sometime later in the year/the beginning of next year and I do say I definitely do not know what to expect upon setting foot in her tenement.


Any suggestions? Stories to share? Tips? Admonitions?


Discuss.


EDIT: I've seen many pictures.
Last edited by Teufel at Apr 24, 2008,
#4
Suggestion?
Don't meet people over the internet.
That's how you wake up in a hotel bathtub full of ice with your kidneys missing.
#6
Quote by Teufel
"Screw me sensless" as she has said COUNTLESS times in the past.


Anywho, I speak of a very beloved friend of mine who I have known for five years now through the internet. She lives in West Springfield. For years she has mentioned wanting to screw me senseless. She wants to trap me in her bedroom for hours, tear my clothes off of me, throw me around and "get it on".

She is a very big fan of female domination, mutilation (talks about a huge blade she has that she will use for "special purposes") and bondage which all in all is absolutely superb when considering my quaint tastes. I plan on making a visit sometime later in the year/the beginning of next year and I do say I definitely do not know what to expect upon setting foot in her tenement.


Any suggestions? Stories to share? Tips? Admonitions?


Discuss.



*facepalm*


EDIT: TS have you actually met her in person?
#7
Quote by Sunny Afternoon
Suggestion?
Don't meet people over the internet.
That's how you wake up in a hotel bathtub full of ice with your kidneys missing.



I've her for a long time, seen pictures, exchanged mail, et cetera. No hotel for me my friend.


@freedoms_stain: No pictures on my computer at the moment. But yes, she is attractive (personality wise).
#10
Quote by BlackicN
The blade kind of kills the whole idea.



I take it the sight of blood running down nude flesh doesn't excite you? Or consuming it doesn't either?

@JimmyDean73: Um, thank you.
#11
Quote by Teufel



@freedoms_stain: No pictures on my computer at the moment. But yes, she is attractive (personality wise).



She's fat
"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."-Duke
#13
Quote by Teufel
I take it the sight of blood running down nude flesh doesn't excite you? Or consuming it doesn't either?


... ?
#14
Yeah, I say stay the hell away from this, er, chick.

When it's a 40-year-old dude screwing you senseless and cutting you up with a big-ass knife, don't say I didn't warn you.
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Quote by Jackal58
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#15
Quote by Teufel
I take it the sight of blood running down nude flesh doesn't excite you? Or consuming it doesn't either?

@JimmyDean73: Um, thank you.

Uh... It's a dude.

I-I

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#16
Quote by TOAOIsaac
Uh... It's a dude.



Yeah.... I know, but common courtesy demands I give my thanks despite how unnerving (and odd) it is.


@civildp1: No, she's fit.

@JoHNNERz: I've seen several pictures.

@daytripper75: Not a serial killer.
#19
Quote by Sunny Afternoon
Teufel, you remind me of someone
i didn't like him either.



I see.

Quite a lovely contribution to the overall proliferation of this thread.
#20
Quote by Teufel
I take it the sight of blood running down nude flesh doesn't excite you? Or consuming it doesn't either?


Nope. Can't say it does.

#23
Quote by Sunny Afternoon
Teufel, you remind me of someone
i didn't like him either.


mmmmmm you're judgemental and your ass is full of semen.

seriously internet stuff like this is bad. have you ever watched "to catch a predator"? theres some weirdos up there, that just show up at peoples houses naked with condems ready to get it on. and not just boy on girl we're talking 65 year old man with a 12 year old boy... or so he thinks. one man said he just wanted to cuddle... the sick pervert
#24
Quote by mr. cool
As nobody considered the possibility of getting some ****ed up disease from exchanging blood/sexual fluids with this ****ed up internet slut



1. She isn't a slut.
2. I've known her years and she doesn't get around.
3. She has sense.
#25
You think you like bondage and blood until she doesn't heed the safety word and there's twice as much blood coming out of you as you enjoy.


Phillip K. dick said, "No one likes pain, they just like the ability to control something that is commonly uncontrolable."
#26
Quote by stringmagician
You think you like bondage and blood until she doesn't heed the safety word and there's twice as much blood coming out of you as you enjoy.


Phillip K. dick said, "No one likes pain, they just like the ability to control something that is commonly uncontrolable."



I don't expect her to do anything of the sort to be honest.
#27
"It rubs the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again."

She's a girl alright, especially when it's all tucked in. Watch Silence of the lambs if you haven't seen it already. That all happened in a basement too. Bring a bigger knife than hers. you might need it.

If she is a girl...act accordingly.
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#29
Quote by Guitarminator
"It rubs the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again."

She's a girl alright, especially when it's all tucked in. Watch Silence of the lambs if you haven't seen it already. That all happened in a basement too. Bring a bigger knife than hers. you might need it.

If she is a girl...act accordingly.



I shall consider doing that. A machete perhaps.


@the pictures: LMFAO
#30
Quote by Teufel
I don't expect her to do anything of the sort to be honest.



Did you not say she was a fan of domination, mutilation, and bondage?
#31
Quote by stringmagician
Did you not say she was a fan of domination, mutilation, and bondage?



Yes, but I said in that regards to her not heeding the safety word. I've faith she will heed if we ever get around to meeting and go thru with screwing each other blind.
#32
Quote by Teufel
I take it the sight of blood running down nude flesh doesn't excite you? Or consuming it doesn't either?

@JimmyDean73: Um, thank you.

It does
#34
Just set down a safety word, and you're set to go have a fun time.


You lucky bastard you
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#35
Quote by Teufel
Yes, but I said in that regards to her not heeding the safety word. I've faith she will heed if we ever get around to meeting and go thru with screwing each other blind.



you used words like heed and regards and then said "screwing each other blind" that made me roflcopter for some reason. don't do it man, although my girlfriends brother met his current wife in a similar situation, but they live in his moms shack, which has a dirt floor
#37
Really, all I can say is you are very classy in the way you talk/type.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#38
Quote by JimmyDean73
you used words like heed and regards and then said "screwing each other blind" that made me roflcopter for some reason. don't do it man, although my girlfriends brother met his current wife in a similar situation, but they live in his moms shack, which has a dirt floor



Doubt we'll live in a shack with a dirt floor. We plan on traveling the world.
#39
Tell her you want to fill her hoo-ha with goofjuice.

Patton Oswalt FTW!
If morning's a bitch with open arms, night's a girl who's gone too far.

OMGWTFBBQ
#40
Quote by Dance_of_Death

Quote by sneyob
Saw extended blue dick,
clicked X.

Sorry,
force of habit


Quote by Bmm386

There is only one solution. We need to bomb outer space. That should show those terrorist bastards who's who
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