#1
A fairly old song I wrote, but I've been reading old lyrics, and this one is one of the better ones I found.


I know that mindless dreams of violet sway the path,
A haze of trepidation denies the past,
The mist covers up a wondering hand,
And though I cannot feel I understand.

Whats wrong with me?
These damp clothes cover up nothing.

Does your mind wish for a tear it recognises?
A time where beauty gasped an open eyelid,
There's still a chance to rectify if you try this,
But a new thread cuts my old one up to pieces.

Whats wrong with me?
These damp clothes cover up nothing.


Cheers..
#2
Quote by Rodders
A fairly old song I wrote, but I've been reading old lyrics, and this one is one of the better ones I found.


I know that mindless dreams of violet sway the path,
A haze of trepidation denies the past,
The mist covers up a wondering hand,
And though I cannot feel I understand.
Don't really enjoy the rhyme scheme here, but I do enjoy the concepts

Whats wrong with me?
These damp clothes cover up nothing.
No complaints!

Does your mind wish for a tear it recognises?
A time where beauty gasped an open eyelid,
There's still a chance to rectify if you try this,
But a new thread cuts my old one up to pieces.
Favorite stanza here, nothing I'd change

Whats wrong with me?
These damp clothes cover up nothing.

Same as before!

Cheers..


I like it, although don't count me as much help in the way of a critic, I'm not really a writer. Still I really enjoyed it, hope you had as much fun with it!


DON'T PANIC! DON'T PANIC!
THEY DON'T LIKE IT UP 'EM!
Last edited by Don't Panic Ok? at Apr 24, 2008,