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#2
Eddie Murphy on raw and delirious, hands down.
Quote by Ultraussie
I want to try that while playing the opening riff to "Tempting Time".

0-0-0-13-0-0-0-0-13 or something like that alalalala but It;s so heavy and off time and awesome and you could not f**k anyone to it.


Quote by Ingested
burzum IS nazi. well, varg is.
#3
dane cooke hands down
Passion Before Fashion

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Ibanez S470DQXM
Amp Fund 0/300
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#4
Mitch Hedburg. no one comes close
Quote by IncubusMan999
donkey the wise, very good

Quote by Metal_Rich
Living up to your name!


Currently searching for more ego padding quotes.

Me in pit = me being bored. Any help is much appreciated.
#6
ross noble fo sho
FOR SALE:

Wilkinson EZ lok Tuners - £15
Dunlop 535q Multiwah - £80

Offers/Trades anyone?
#9
def ross noble


or arj
tho hes been kinda **** lately
Lolz
Quote by inhatredofme
made me laugh for some reason. i don't have any fetishes...you guys are just freaks or something. imagine that, freaks in the pit.

Quote by Bonesaw
take a deep beath................then stab him in the eye with a screwdriver
#11
Bill Hicks is my personal favourite.
I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.
Executed by injection, Oklahoma.
~~ Thomas J. Grasso, d. March 20, 1995.


Lyrics/Poetry

Fires Burning
#13
Bill Baily or Harry Hill both great in their own ways.
Just watch "burger barry" on youtube and you'll see what i mean about harry hill
#17
George Carlin and Eddie Izzard are my two picks
Gear:
Fernandes Revolver Elite
Schecter C1 Exotic
Schecter C1 Classic
Peavey JSX head
Hartke 4x12 cab
Boss GT-8
BBE 362 Sonic maximizer
#18
Tripod are very awesome. They do musical comedy with standup inbetween

Scod: All right, the Ghost Ship. It's very scary.
Gatesy: How scary?
Scod: (Playing a chord) E minor.

Gatesy: Oooohh... guess the musos in the room have just poo-ed their pants! "Don't go near E minor, you can't take it!" Well, just watch us...


and

Scod: Wow, hey, wow! Gee, Gatesy, look over there!
Gatesy: What?
Scod: It's you shutting the f*ck up!

and

Gatesy: My trap will not fail! See, I'm not going to fail. I won't fail, I'm not going to die, you hear me? (Holding his cricket stump he is using as a sword to the throat of an audience member) Look, I have hostages! See! Argghhhh!
Yon: Admiral Coleman, we already have that person's entrance fee. By all means, kill her.
Gatesy: (Releasing the hostage) Damn you and your pirate logic!
#19
Jeff Dunham, he's a ventriloquist but he often opens his act with a stand up performance which is awesome.
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
#20
Bill Bailey or Jeff Dunham

Ricky Gervais early stuff was good, not to keen on his later stuff tho......
Bam
#21
bill hicks,ross noble,billy connelly,jack dee,lee evans,bill bailey,jimmy carr there are loads out there depends what type of comedy you like
#22
George Carlin, without a doubt. The man is one of our times best comidians.

One of his best rants: http://youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o&feature=related
If you throw a pudding towards a running elephant in a pine forest, will the cookie come and eat you? O.o


Quote by Danno13
With a name like Jesus Lives, you
have bigger issues to worry about than how to get a signature guitar.
Owned
#24
Quote by Flipaningage
bill bailey or dylan moran

Agreed, plus Jack Dee.
#25
Eddie Izzard with ease. That said, the one stand up dvd you can get of Alan Davies is hilarious.
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


Quote by titsmcgee852
I want to look at your sexual naked body.
#26
Eddie Izzard.
Quote by National_Anthem
Quote by Weeping_Demon7

Worst-Atheists (because 90% of them are arrogant bastards)
Best- Music


90% of people are arrogant bastards, regardless of religion.
#27
Eddie Izzard, Bill Bailey, Billy Connoly, Richard Pryor...

Like some of Alan Davies stuff and Franky Boyle too, well, most the team on "Mock the Week" or Qi. Alan Carr and Russel Brand too, if ur in that mood.
Land of my high endeavor,
Land of the shining river,
Land of my heart forever,
Scotland the brave
#29
louis ck, dave chappelle, lee evans


the list is ****in endless


louis ck deffo up in the top 10 tho
Gear:
Jackson DK2 Trans Black

Peavey 6505
Marshall 1960AV
#30
No one's mentioned Lee Evans or Chris rock yet |:

Edit : Beaten :P
"Punk is a state of mind, and no one can take that away from you."
#31
Quote by Sabu
Carrot Top



Dear God, no..

Dylan Moran is excellent, I saw him last year in Melbourne and he was ****ing hilarious.

"Tasmania?! I don't want to go there..! Boys melting into puddles in the heat and dogs bursting into flames mid-bark!" Or something along those lines.
FUNK IS THE WAY



you can be in my dreams if i can be in yours
#32
Demitri Martin is pretty funny
"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world"
-John Lennon
#33
im guessing no one else knows mitch hedburg. i know this because no one else has mentioned him!
Quote by IncubusMan999
donkey the wise, very good

Quote by Metal_Rich
Living up to your name!


Currently searching for more ego padding quotes.

Me in pit = me being bored. Any help is much appreciated.
#34
Quote by donkey the wise
im guessing no one else knows mitch hedburg. i know this because no one else has mentioned him!


Wrong. Someone has.
Quote by National_Anthem
Quote by Weeping_Demon7

Worst-Atheists (because 90% of them are arrogant bastards)
Best- Music


90% of people are arrogant bastards, regardless of religion.
#35
Quote by donkey the wise
im guessing no one else knows mitch hedburg. i know this because no one else has mentioned him!

*doesn't find Mitch Hedburg that funny*

Also, are we only talking stand-up? Becuase if not, Laurel and Hardy win, hands-down.
FUCK YOU! GET PUMPED!
#38
dimitri forgot the last name he was on comedy central.
(\__/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
(")_(") signature to help him gain world domination.
part of Trumpet Player's Alliance
Pimus sucks group
80s rock group
Quote by frozen_soul
ummm testicular cancer?
#39
Billy Connolly. IMO, the best comedian ever to grace the stage. Honourable mention to Dane Cook, I saw his vicious circle gig the other day and lmao'd.
#40
there's a lot

russell peters
demetri martin
pablo francisco
mitch hedburg
daniel tosh