Biting the bullet and playing in a band you're not overly interested in + long story

#1
I'm kind of new to this forum, but it seems to be a pretty decent place, the forums are more practical than the harmony central ones it seems, but anyhow...

So recently, out of boredom and stagnation in life I thought it would be a fun idea to join a band, I am by no means a highly experienced kind of musician, but I have been in bands before and played shows, not to mention that I have been playing guitar for about 7 years now, also it has always been my goal to play in something that I am truly proud of with people that I can honestly call my good friends and go on tour and be signed to a respectable label and whatnot.

Okay, I had to cut out a lot of stuff cause the post was just too long and it wouldn't let me post it, and I think it would be better to get straight into the gist of the matter anyways, but I do think I made some pretty important points that some people might relate to, or some people might even learn from.. just stuff about the bits of drama you go through being in a band and with dealing with people etc. etc., if anyone wants to read it I guess I could post the unabridged version in multiple parts with nearly a full historical account of my experiences playing in bands and the ordeals that I (as well as many, many others) have gone through and still go through. But here is pretty much the end of my essay/article/short story whatever you want to call it
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Seeing as I'm not going to school and everyone back home is either off at college or something or just wasting away in a burnout lifestyle, I figured this would be another nice time to be playing music in a band. So I end up hanging out with my old screamer and I know that he is in a semi-active band so I decide that since I pretty much have nothing better going on I ask if I can join the band. I easily get accepted into this band, but now I'm starting to wonder if this is maybe taking a step backwards, but on the other hand I see that it might be a good way to keep me in the game and keep me in practice. It's rough because I think that there's just abstract barriers that are in between me and my current bandmates in a lot of ways (socially, mentally, creatively). The guys really just wanna play the heavy deathcore kinda stuff that's been exploding all over the place, but I figure it might be alright since I can rock out pretty hard to this stuff. They are even outright not very accepting of some of the material I've written, but I'm wondering if it's a good way for me to meet other new people by being in this band. I still stay in touch with my bass playing friend from high school, but I think he is more into doing some not so heavy pop-punk indie kinda stuff and one of his statements to me was that he is through doing hardcore, I'm pretty sure though that if I can muster up something that is good enough he'll be interested in jamming with me again, since musically we do have some pretty big similarities in our tastes, and hardcore is really not the only genre of music I'm interested (I think I write music best without thinking about genres at all).

I've also started taking lessons again from the same dude I took lessons for a couple months when I was 15, he's been teaching me some jazz improv sort of stuff which has been opening up a lot of stuff to me, I have also started practicing with my old metronome again. I have also recently purchased a digital multi-track recording machine, and I feel that it is in my best interesting to keep on constantly writing music and recording it, regardless of whether any of it is used in my current band or not, I think the number one factor in credibility of a guitarist (especially in a one guitar band) is the stuff that is actually written and ready to perform. I really feel like right now I'm just about down to my last straw and music's the thing that I have to make work for me, since you're only young for so long. I'm not talking about being famous and making loads of money by any means, I'd be happy just to be able to do it and have people show up to my shows and enjoy the music.

Well anyways what do you guys think of all this and any possible advice or suggestions on how I should go about things?
#2
stick with the band man, youll get experience you wont by playin on your own, plus if it's really that bad you can just quit rather than regret what could have been
#3
The Wall...
Don't be in the band if you're not 100% into it, it's gonna waste your time and motivation to play music
Ted: [Whispering to Bill] Your stepmom is cute.
Bill: Shut up, Ted.
Ted: Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?
Bill: Shut up, Ted!
#4
if they don't like the music you write, well whatever, try writing some stuff more suited to what they're looking for
maybe the music they're trying to write isn't really your style, but you should stay in the band anyways because yes you can meet new people whom you might want to form a band with later on
my friend was in an emo/hardcore band just for the lulz basically, they ade some money and he got fed up of wearing tight girly jeans and stuff, and now he's in a death metal band with some more of my friends
it's all about just doing what you love, along the way youi'll meet some guys that in a few months may be kicked out of their band or the band breaks up, then you jump on the oportunity to make a band with them (if you have common interests in music)
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#5
You need to somehow do lots of gigs with lots of various bands in your area so there you can meet a lot more similar minded musicians, then you can call them up and get together to do the music you want.

This is what a lot of people i know do and lots of famous people do it aswell, thats why you get loads of side projects nowadays.
#6
Won't do you any harm to simply be in the band and play what they want you to play. You'll get on-stage experience, more practice, and begin to get recognised by other musicians. Make sure the band realise that you're not dedicated to staying with them for the long haul, just to avoid potential upset when you want to leave, but still work hard at making good music.

No time spent playing music with other people is wasted unless there's a better option available, so just stick with the band until that opportunity appears.
#7
Hey thanks a lot for the prompt responses guys, I'm thinking I should give some more details to my story.

The band I'm in is a one guitarist band, but me and the other guitarist switch off drum duties for half the set-list, so I guess it's kinda fun in that way, but I definitely think I'm gonna stick it out and just play shows for now, I'm also pretty sure that the other guys in the band understand that what the band is doing is not really what I'm all about and there will be an inevitable parting of ways when the time comes, and this is what ended up happening with the kid that was in the band before me.

I think the best way of going about things is to stick it out with this band, there's even been talk about going on a small mid-western area tour, and any touring experience looks good for anyone's resume which brings me to my next point..

I feel that anyone who I'd REALLY want to play with has these pre-requisites where you'd already needed to have accomplished something, people tend to be a bit stuck up like that, but I can totally understand it and it makes sense you know? It tends to weed people out of the garage bands.

Another positive to my current band would also probably be that the other drummer/guitarist guy in it has some pretty good booking connections, he's booked the band opening for some moderately decent sized national acts and we were supposed to open for a victory records band but that band dropped the tour.

A big downside of being in my current band is that my bandmates are the type of guys that if I brought out to go drinking with me at a party or something, I would probably not get invited to that place again, which makes me kinda sad since I really wish we could be total bros, but thats just how the world works...

But I figure my best bet is to just keep on honing my songwriting abilities as much as I can on my personal time and have a good personal batch of songs I can have ready if the time comes for an oppurtunity to start a new band. I figure I could have a pretty diverse list of songs for different genres as I do like lots of different types of music... I don't know I guess my vision is kind of hard to explain but a lot of my favorite bands have been sort of hybrids that are able to escape the confines of genre classification, take the legendary smashing pumpkins for example. I guess I really just have to beat in the work ethic into myself and spend a good amount of time practicing jazz theory as well as spending a lot of time working on writing and recording music, hell my guitar teacher even says that I won't eveb be able to take lessons anymore after 6 months or so... maybe I'll have to find me someone to teach me how to play classical guitar after that hah.
Last edited by Blue Flames at Apr 25, 2008,