his is more of a poem right now but wondering how to get it into a song structure or if its even any good

i think it needs more too it dosent quite flow right


i see the world throuh the eys of the dead, and the souls of the lost.
nothing seems real and everything frozen in frost

war is rampant, and death all around,
yet nothing moves or makes a sound

gunfire echoes and people die,
all slow motion in the blink of an eye

i must stand tall, stay strong, and fight
all will be lost if i dont find the might

inside i scream with pain and sadness
everything hurts like hell and it wont go away
outside i scream with rage and madness
everthing aflame and crying all day

wont somebody please save my soul
oh god please release me from this hell,
i dont wanna be here in this dark black hole

please someone ........save me,
bring me home.....
Quote by Kensai
Girls don't have to do anything to be good in bed. If she's got a pulse she's automatically an 8.