#1
me again, more of a slow paced song

meant to be repetive, as its meant to represent all those who continously wait through thick and thin

Im sitting here at the station
a cool breeze running down the track
standing by the platform
casually with my back
to the wall, waiting for my trains call

Im waiting here at the station
will it ever come
or am i deserted
with only but some
people here, people near

im tiring here at the station
exhausting away
still sitting here
waiting all day
will it ever come?

Im sitting here at the station
waiting for my train
its not turned
or am i not sane?

thanks please help me to make it better
#3
Don't bump. Read the S+L rules.

Twenty minutes? This isn't a chat room. It's a forum.

If you wish for critiques, the best option is to comment on other peoples works and link back to your own.

Reported for mods attention.
#4
I'll leave it open, however, read the rules of the forum so that your threads wouldn't be closed in the future. Critiquing is indeed how we work here - give feedback to receive some in return.
This is not a pipe
#7
Ok, now it's closed.

Read the rules of the forum in order for your threads not to get closed all the time. Follow the rules and you'll be fine.
This is not a pipe