#1
i'm in a band (myspace.com/thewatermarginmyspace) and things aren't going too well. my rhythym guitarist is looking to join the military because two of his old buddies joined and when they visited him this past month, they filled his head with nonsense. he changed over night. it was like oh man i wanna get famous, to oh man...i think i'm gonna join the navy.

apparantly i'm pushy about the band. i'm always trying to push us forward, get us into the studio, write new songs, jam a lot. but i mean, if we're looking to be the real deal...that's what you have to do! i mean we'd practice at least 4 times a week and we sound incredibly tight. you might not like the songs but the band as a whole is very tight.

we've been jamming for a little over a year. i really don't want the band to dissolve. he says that if he joins we'll get back together when he gets out, but i mean, really? four years is a long time. and how can i trust him after this? i honestly feel betrayed. all this hard work we put in, and he just wants to throw it away? it's not for certain that he's joining the military but i'm getting the distinct impression he doesn't want to be in the band at all.

what do you guys think? was i too pushy? is he just a retard? have you guys been through something similar? i'd apreciate some comments, suggestions, or advice.
the arsonist had oddly shaped feet...
#2
Maybe he doesn't want to be known for music or end up falling flat on his face because of a band that isn't going to make it super big.
You have a right to get upset in my opinion though. People are going to do what they want in the end though.
#3
I feel for ya, man, but these things happen. Consider this... look at the divorce rate. That's the result of two people who think they're in love making a commitment to each other, and then having it go south for whatever reason, despite the best efforts and intentions.

Now consider that a band is a four or five-way relationship. You get the idea.... People aren't being pricks. Sure, maybe in our modern fast-food culture, we're more likely to look out four our own self-interest, and are subsequently more unwilling to tough it out for as long as our grandparents did. There's no plot. No maliciousness. Not usually. People's needs, situations, goals, etc. change over time. If you're lucky, they'll grow together. If you're not lucky.... that's the way it goes sometimes. Don't look for blame on them or yourself. Just look for peace, and looking ahead to the next stage of your journey.

CT
Could I get some more talent in the monitors, please?

I know it sounds crazy, but try to learn to inhale your voice. www.thebelcantotechnique.com

Chris is the king of relating music things to other objects in real life.
Last edited by axemanchris at Apr 27, 2008,
#4
i've been in about 5 or 6 bands now and things happen beyond the personal lives of the members will dissolve the band at times. what i've done is say keep in touch, get together & jam a little bit and maybe you get back together someday. this is a literal same mirror image event to one of my bands. in the beginning i felt betrayed by her when she bailed out and we had to re-work everything but after a couple weeks i realized her reasons and i sympathized with her. now we don't get together in a band sense but me & some buddies jam & do a gig not as a band but as a "hey u mind if i/we sit in". i mean our band worked hard and when she left we were really really pissed but after time we forgave and forgot. i'm now starting another band with her and i think it will work. so give time a chance maybe after he gets put on that killing line he could come back with you on the stage.
you just witnessed the heart-stopping, door-locking, history makin, pants-droppin, earth-shakin, body quakin, lip-quivering, body-tickilin, love-makin fang
#5
if he goes, id honestly just find your self a new rhythm guitar player. Because like you said 4 years is a long time, and plus you change when you go into the military, you don't come out the same as you went in. I'd find a new guitarist, get him into your group and go from there.
#7
people are people. they are different to each other. their hopes, dreams and aspirations differ. if he wants to leave he wants to leave. hell, if the band breaks up the band breaks up. it happens to a lot of very good bands. you just gotta move on.
my name is matt. you can call me that if you like.
#8
just gt a new one, or do both parts, you only need 1...
Quote by Eliyahu
Mr.Cuddles killed The Metal!!!! FUCK YES!

Quote by TheReverend724
Mr Cuddles pretty much nailed it...

Quote by thanksgiving

"Oh Mr.Cuddles, you make my pants go boom boom. I are horny. Do not disappoint I"


Viscara (my band)
#9
Replace him if and when he leaves. If you and the rest of the band are tight its just a matter of the new guy learning your songs.
Sig What?
#10
Music is a business and you gotta do what you gotta do.
There's nothing wrong with pushing a band.
If he leaves, hire a new guitar player, teach him the songs, and carry on so all your previous work isn't for nothing.
Quote by SteveHouse
This thread is officially about sucking Sleaze off for a sig.


Quote by tayroar
Hey Sleaze I'll give you a blowjob if you sig me. Maybe even some nudey photos?


Quote by crazy8rgood


Sleaze, that made me lulz in my pants.


Quote by 36mikeyb36
hahaha Sleaze i'd give you my mom for that one.
#11
Is it just publicity?

It's like the 4th time that I see you posting your band name.

But, find a new member.
Barry White is cooler than you
Quote by Deliriumbassist
I really wish I could say you're funny and cool, but that would be like saying Africa doesn't have a poverty problem.
#12
Quote by stackedxactor
and how can i trust him after this? i honestly feel betrayed. all this hard work we put in, and he just wants to throw it away?

Yeah, what a bastard, spoiling your band, all because he wants a career and financial security.
Some people eh?
Anyway, just get a new guitarist and carry on, or even continue without a rhythym guitarist, not every band has 'em so they ain't essential.
It's not the end of the world y'know.
Last edited by SlackerBabbath at Apr 28, 2008,
#13
Quote by SlackerBabbath
Yeah, what a bastard, spoiling your band, all because he wants a career and financial security.
Some people eh?




CT
Could I get some more talent in the monitors, please?

I know it sounds crazy, but try to learn to inhale your voice. www.thebelcantotechnique.com

Chris is the king of relating music things to other objects in real life.
#14
Quote by QuebecMetal
Is it just publicity?

It's like the 4th time that I see you posting your band name.

But, find a new member.


lmao. nah dude. i see a lot of other people on here who are way worse then me about it.
the arsonist had oddly shaped feet...
#15
Quote by stackedxactor
lmao. nah dude. i see a lot of other people on here who are way worse then me about it.
yea that gets annoying. & to the dude who said not to buy my advice, i didn't meant wait, i meant not to be upset & move on. yea like everyone else said find a new dude but dont shun that one
you just witnessed the heart-stopping, door-locking, history makin, pants-droppin, earth-shakin, body quakin, lip-quivering, body-tickilin, love-makin fang
#16
Quote by brucehead
what i've done is say keep in touch, get together & jam a little bit and maybe you get back together someday.




I would do this because you don't want to burn any bridges. But in the mean time you should replace him. If he gets upset about this tell him that you need someone else because he's leaving.
WARNING:This post contains explicit portrayals of violence; sex; violent sex; sexual violence; clowns and violent scenes of violent excess, which are definitely not suitable for all audiences.