i'm in a band (myspace.com/thewatermarginmyspace) and things aren't going too well. my rhythym guitarist is looking to join the military because two of his old buddies joined and when they visited him this past month, they filled his head with nonsense. he changed over night. it was like oh man i wanna get famous, to oh man...i think i'm gonna join the navy.

apparantly i'm pushy about the band. i'm always trying to push us forward, get us into the studio, write new songs, jam a lot. but i mean, if we're looking to be the real deal...that's what you have to do! i mean we'd practice at least 4 times a week and we sound incredibly tight. you might not like the songs but the band as a whole is very tight.

we've been jamming for a little over a year. i really don't want the band to dissolve. he says that if he joins we'll get back together when he gets out, but i mean, really? four years is a long time. and how can i trust him after this? i honestly feel betrayed. all this hard work we put in, and he just wants to throw it away? it's not for certain that he's joining the military but i'm getting the distinct impression he doesn't want to be in the band at all.

what do you guys think? was i too pushy? is he just a retard? have you guys been through something similar? i'd apreciate some comments, suggestions, or advice.
the arsonist had oddly shaped feet...
If he want to join the military, then it's all right. It's rare that bands become famous and he's thinking about his future, and it's perfectly normal. Get over it.
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Get a new rhythm guitarist?

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I wouldn't say he's retarded, nor are you too pushy. It's good that you're trying to keep your band going and get them practicing and stuff, but if your member wants to join the navy, you should let him. He'll be serving your country, which is a good thing, and if he wants to do it you should happily let him. Did you expect everyone in your band to stay there for the rest of their lives, and never go out and make something of there lives? Sure, the music business is something we'd all love to be a part of, but the reality is, only about 1% of people actually make it big in music, as in big enough to be a professional musician and support themselves with that money. If they want to leave in order to have some sort of future rather than risking everything to attempt to rock around the world, they probably weren't worth your time to begin with, and you could just find a replacement if needed.
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if it comes down to it i will get a new rhythym guitarist. but i dunno what to do about the songs. we co-wrote most of them. do i just not use those? plus, we're like brothers. at least i thought so.
the arsonist had oddly shaped feet...
Yeah, I don't see why you can't get a new rhythm guitarist.
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Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
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Get a new rhythm guitarist?


Try posting in the Bandleading forum, you'll probably get more responses there.

And good luck to your band.
New rhythm guitarist is what you need. Tell him, "hey, you want to join the navy, thats cool. But I gotta band to think about. It's been nice knowin' ya." You could keep him, but have another guitarist lined up to take his place when he leaves to go to the military, so he can be in it for as long as possible.
He will probably have no more time to practice if he goes to military, so in 4 years, when he'll come back, he'll probably just don't remember any songs, and will not be able to play anything. If he leaves, get a new rythm guitarist, and continue to push your band to make it bigger. The band isn't all about 1 of the members, but about all. If 1 of them leaves, you can replace him. It will never be the same, but you'll still be able to make it.
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Hes RHYTHM dude!you can get another guy to play chords.

well...he doesn't just play rhythym...he has like 3 solos...and i mean...the dude's very ****ing good at guitar...i mean i couldn't believe when we started jamming...i was like "FINALLY...SOMEONE WHO CAN KEEP UP WITH ME!!!"
the arsonist had oddly shaped feet...
New guitarist. Just let him join. Don't push him into staying with you guys. You're 'brotherhood' will just tear down if you try to stop him from what he wants to do. Trust me, get over this quick, cause it ain't worth fighting for.
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find a new guitarists of equal or greater skill
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