#1
Wrote this over the last 2 hrs, I Love it , lol, This is one of the most favorite songs i wrote. Dunno bout lyrics, I wanted it to sound clean. But midi sucks so your just guna have to deal with that midi distortion guitar. I Think i did pretty well on the bass cus im not a bassist. Im a guitarist so ill just stick wit it for now. Drums ill add later, Updates as follows this is v1 and v2 will be the final version.
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The Chase As in (Stumble Over A Cop Song).zip
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Last edited by Jonathan Trejo at Apr 27, 2008,
#2
Hey, thanks for the crit, m8!

Sweet song here. I liked the intro and how you built the mood for the song, although I can't help getting the feeling that I've heard it before . I also think that it's a bit too short, imo the part with the bass should be 8 measures instead of 4. But it still sounded good.

From there on the song is great, although imo it would sound far better if there is vocal. Loved the chorus, especially the last two measure. Idk, there's just a certain vibe there that's really cool. But again, it kinda reminisce something that I've heard before, but not so much. Probably only my imagination, though.

The second verse I think needs a bassline under it, it just felt empty without bass there. I think I know what you are trying to do there, trying to make the song "relax" (well, that's the impression I got, anyway), but without bass it just felt hollow. Whole note in the bass should do perfectly there, as it will still keep the feeling there, but at the same time fill the lower note register.

The part after chorus 2 was really cool. It's perfect, not gonna change anything there. Although, I don't like the intro repetition after that. It suites the song well, but I think it could be much more better, especially when I think it's gonna be an interlude/solo after that. The intro repetition just made it, well, repetitive.

Oh, and one more thing, at measure 51, there's a dissonance in the bassline, when the bass is playing E, whereas it should be playing D#. I know it's impossible without changing the tuning to play it on the E string, so I recommend you to change it to D# at the D string (1st fret of string 2). As far as the bass itself goes, it's pretty good, actually, although if I'm doing it I would certainly modify it. But it's decent considering you've said you're not a bassist.

Overall, great. You just have to finish it (including drums and vocals ), and I'm interested to hear the completed version of it . 8-8.5/10 from me (dunno, can't decide, it's somewhere between that, because it's still unfinished )
#4
I hate the clean guitar sound in GP, I would have used the Jazz guitar if I was you. Oh well.

Sounds like a good post-hardcore song you've got here.

But all the lead stuff is across what looks like to me, like two strings. And has some stupidly wide stretchs. Maybe move some notes around on to different strings and try to keep the notes around the same area.

I think it needs some kind of outro, and drums. It's hard to really listen to a song without drums for me. And the ending happens all to suddenly.

OVerall, so far. 8/10!
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#5
I totally get what your saying MarchOfEternity Thnx for the crit dude. I'm guna Write a vocal track Drums, and an interlude with a solo as u said hehe. And ill take out that pesky repititive part at the end aight. Carl6661 Ill make it finger friendly for u lol. I guess i'm just used to awkward positions... Thnx for the help. Ill post back with the final version with in the week or so. More crits please
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#6
Nice. I love that main riff in the intro and verses. The first guitar. Pretty tight. Not too crazy about what happened at 47-49. 50-55 is tight. It sounds off when it's alone, but if you put a simple 4/4 drum beat behind it sounds pretty tight.

Really, the only thing I have to say is finish it, and that I can't wait till it is finished, cuz this song has a lot of potential.

Would you mind critting one of mine? Top one in sig is the prefferred song. I'd really appreciate it, thanks.
#8
Thanks for the crit on mine, first off.

Your song was alright... it had some cool riffs. The verse really stood out to me as the best one. I think the leads in some part are kinda weak... they're just uninteresting to me in some points. Try and diversify them and make them less linear (especially the half note chord melodies...). I also thought the chorus was kind of weak for a chorus riff just because the verse is so powerful, but maybe it sounds better IRL. I'd buff up the solo too; then again, if you like it the way it is, don't change it.

Personally I'd give it a 7/10.
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#11
Amazing Intro
At 5, the rhythm guitar is perfect, but somewhat loses its touch in 6, and transition 5-6 (with the chords), it sounds too loud and clashy, maybe make the rythm the same as in 5, or make the volume lower, oh, but is great nonetheless...

Lol, the volumes of oboe (vocals I suppose) and drums are at 0
The verse is kind of weird in comparison to the previous part, the oboe was great, but there was an atonality in the main guitar that I didn't like.
The chorus is even weirder, only 2 instruments (where are the vocals? or is the oboe not supposed to be the vocals?), add some more to it, it was to short, and without substent.
I liked "small interlude" pretty much, flowed well, etc...
Same thing with verse 3 (although this time the oboe doesn't make too much contrast with the melody of the first guitar), and at bars like 35, with that off-key F# (I suppose it is in Gmin, but I was never good at identifying keys), the melody is kind of interrupted, where in reality should flow a little bit more...

Again, weird chorus
The bass is doing some weird stuff (some slides over there) over a weird progression of chords. I liked 47 however, seemes unappropiate to the piece, without something that would lead to that, but well, sounded good.
The next part sounded kind of good, but there weren't any harmonies, nor other instruments, and sounded pretty dull.

The solo was kind of unexpectant, and shouldn't the note at 63 be a G? It sounds unresolved if not, and doesn't flow to the verse either (lol I am using words flow, unexpectant, etc too much lately).
Also, work for an outro for that ok ?

For now I would put a 7.5/10 to it because of the main riff and verse, but make the rest of the song as awesome as that!

Wanna crit mine?
Choose any from sig...