#1
Drunk, lonely, and thinking of how a easy a non-songwriting hack like Elton John has it.
"You're Elton John!"
"That's my name! Well....not really.


After I killed myself I got a job at Papa Dino's Italian eatery.
I delivered a pie to a Phd. named Mack McCallister, who was
cocky about his degree and the alliteration in his name.
Goddamned if he wasn't the last American hero.
Told me about how he walked out on a wife and two kids.
About how he wasn't welcome back in Crossville, TN for writing bad checks.
About how he would pump gas at the Swifty station and drive off without paying.
He offered me a tip and I refused it.
I told him that his Maury Povich paternity-result alcohol-induced lifestyle was
enough to keep me alive and kicking until the Pisces era over-threw the
Aries era of fucking with constant tree bark antler fucking.

I hope one day you self-adress a homemade envelope with
Pinsky-style brownies as a Hell warming gift.
I hope one day Leonard Cohen becomes more than just
an author who lulls you in with the promise of humming-bird artwork.
I hope one day you accept this dick as a Christmas wrapped
blessing of bear hunting, mutton choppin' and the most love you're ever
going to get from a self-victimizing Playboy Manbaby.
Love your life and sleep on your side.
I'll drive you to work anytime you need to be there.
Poor advice.
Last edited by stellar_legs at May 1, 2008,
#2
hehe when i saw the title of this post it only showed "Practice falling..." i thought the rest would say "...down stairs" best name for a song ever, or best way to get inspiration...whichever is best.
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Quote by jsync
And I've eaten at some of Australia's best pizzerias.



SOUNDCLOUD
. com / fancy-elle
#3
Anything on the piece itself? I'm drunk, lonely, and desperate for a boost of self-conifence.
Poor advice.
#4
The last line sticks out for me. It is so subtle, but I think the entire piece is sort of poking and pushing at it like "Here it is, go ahead try it, you'll like it".
Quote by ottoavist

i suppose there's a chance
i'm just a litte too shallow to consider
that maybe i've been a little more eager
each day to wake up and take a shower
brush my teeth and smile for the mirror
#6
I don't think this is your best. It wasn't as moving as a lot of your stuff in my eyes. I thought it was a bit over the top-- not the vulgerness as much as the fact that a lot of the references and plays on words and things didn't say that much to me.

I liked it and the flow and such worked well but as a piece of writing, it's not my favorite.

and my uncle got in a fight with elton john in a bar like 10 years ago.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
#7
I swear I posted on this.

Thought it was great. Liking this slightly altered version of you.

Might come back later, If I remember.
#9
I thouroughly enjoyed how over the top this was. I agree with freshtunes, the last 2 lines really stick out in my mind. Probably because they are so different in tone from the rest of the work.

The title is amazing, btw.
#10
Quote by stellar_legs
Slightly altered version?

More surreal, abstract.
#13
yeah. and it's about a guy who kills himself and then he's in a world where everyone else killed themselves too. and he gets a job at a chinese restaurant. and all sorts of wacky adventures ensue.
#14
When I started reading this, I really didn't like it. But the more I read, the more I fell in love with this piece. Not a style I'm usually a fan of, but there's something about the way you told the story that made it stick out from a lot of other writings. Good job.
#15
the lyrics seem pretty cool but to me its still nothing without music...thats the trouble with people just posting lyrics. i guess i could say that i like your 'poem'.
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Quote by jsync
And I've eaten at some of Australia's best pizzerias.



SOUNDCLOUD
. com / fancy-elle
#16
Gah, enough with this lyrics bullshit.

Is it really that easy to misconstrue lyrics and poems/prose?
Poor advice.
#17
Quote by stellar_legs
Is it really that easy to misconstrue lyrics and poems/prose?

nope.

this is poetry, as is all your stuff. it's obvious to some.

p.s. One of your best titles.
Last edited by samoo at Apr 30, 2008,
#19
I gotta say the first few lines threw me off, idk just sort of took me off guard and I was more into it just to see what the rest would be like than because i actually liked it. But by the time I got to the end I was in knee deep and didn't even remember where I was. Then of course I had to go back and read through it again... I like it. Not in love with it but it's good. It's cool, it's got a completley different style than anything I've ever read and I can't quite decide whether I really like it or not... It's cool I guess. Sorry I'm sort of rambling I guess the point is that the poem left me somewhat... undecided? Confused I guess would work... I like the content though.
Rock On HARDCORE

Please crit this. My fav piece that I've written.
Goodbye

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