#1
Just getting around to recording a song I wrote a long time ago...might be the first full song I ever wrote come to think of it. Would like critique on the song structure, catchyness etc the most. Will C4C of course.

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/mash71/

edit: added in another guitar, redid vox, added bass, and changed the ending. Check out the new one and let me know what you think .
Last edited by mash71 at Apr 30, 2008,
#2
Your song has a lot of potential. The structure, lyrics, and flow are definitely well done. Good recording quality, too. One issue I did have was with song development. I was expecting a full band complement - e.g. drums, distorted guitar, and bass - to come slamming in around :43.
Yeah, I just opened up Reason and did a test of how some midi drums would sound with the track, and they definitely add a whole lot. The song strikes me as very intense and driving, but it's only noticeable if you add those drums in.
The melody and chorus are very catchy, nice job with that .

It's a good tune that you have there, I quite enjoyed it. It just might need a few more layers to sound like a complete package.

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=841768
#3
im criting while listening. im guessing your talking about easy does it? the song is really good actually. it sounds like against me's "i still love you julie" but im not a person who cares when two songs sound similar. i like it, i think maybe if somewhere along you threw some percussion in to spice it up (maybe for a climax at the end) it would be really cool. check out my new song

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=846943
#4
The intro was a tiny bit long, not a big problem though. The singing was all right, when the guitar stops and you sing I can imagine a synth riff being played while you sing, I don't know why but that would sound cool. I liked the relax feel to the song. It progressed while, It wasn't to repetitive which is good. It was cool how it faded out at the end. Good job.
www.youtube.com/jordan123x
#5
You've got a great song here, very good melody, structure and lyrics but I agree it needs a whole band and I hate fade out endings but thats just personal opinion.

crit for crit?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=847212
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f*ckin' mouth.” RIP
Http://www.Smash-it-up.tk
#7
Thanks for the input guys. I'll add another guitar and some drums in later, plus re-do the vocals. Its a rough draft for sure but I am more motivated to develop it now .

Crits are on their way.
#8
The intros nice.
The vocals are nice, if a little indistinct in places.
Like the guy above said, It could do with some drums, bass, perhaps some distorted guitars.
And yes its pritty catchy.


C4C - https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=13997401#post13997401
My stuff:
Fender Tele 60's Reissue
Schecter Blackhawk
Vintage V300 acoustic
Yamaha RB170 Bass

Peavey Classic 30 amp

Boss SD-1, DOD Grunge, Guyatone PS-010 Compressor, Marshall SV-1, Vox V847, Zoom G2, Line6 Echo Park
#9
Alright I updated it- added drums, bass, and another guitar, and replaced the vocals / orginal ending. Let me know what you think .
#10
Oh yeah, definitely a big improvement with the additional instruments added in. The song feels a lot more focused and cohesive now. I especially liked the lead part you added in towards the end. It fits very well, and the minimalist approach you took to it certainly suits the song. Although I didn't mind the fade out ending on the last version, I do like how you handled the retooled ending. Nice work with the changes.