#1
this morning i encountered one of the most adrenaline filled moments of my entire life!

I awoke from a relaxing sleep to notice a feeling in the pit of my stomach that i was all too familiar with... I needed a ****! I rose from my bed and trudged towards the bathroom sleepily and prepared to sit on the throne when, to my horror, i noticed there was piss all over the seat! 'Damn you Tony!' i screamed, knowing my younger brother was the culprit.
I attempted to clean the seat to the best of my abilities but during this time my bowels had sensed that the bowl was near and had already began releasing their goodness! I hurriedly scrubbed and scrubbed as poo slowly made its way down the dark tunnel. The closer it came to the light the more my panic rose, the head pushed out from the darkness 'Now is not the time for cleaning!' i spat, 'now is the time for action!' i swung my buttocks round in a desperate attempt to reach the toilet, the centrafugal force this created aided my poo and it swung out to freedom, it soared majestically through the air then landed in the toilet with a gentle 'plop'. I had made it! I breathed a sigh of relief and then finished the job.


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