#1


"you whore! you whore!"
cried the commoners to their queen
as she gave them their daily bread.
yet
how they loved her
when she strung them up and cut out their souls.





love is a dog from hell.



#2
Spring comp piece please Chris

As for the piepce, it was short and sweet. I can't really find anything to critique, except I'd like a comma after "yet".

It was worth the read.
#3
Wow.

It's the shortness and conciseness that makes this piece, or rather any piece, so powerful, in my opinion. It doesn't go tediously in depth with the point it's trying to get across, but presents it in a clever way. I love pieces like this.

And the irony you used is wonderful.

Good job.
There's only one girl in the world for you
and she probably lives in Tahiti.
#4
after i finished with the last line; i experienced immediate retention in my lower mandible.
i've got to say, you have quite the way with words; and even if i don't comment some of the time, you never fail to impress.

so there.
#6
Fantastic. When I looked at the preview and saw it started with "You *****! You *****!" I was thinking "Oh no, here we go." But the length of the poem really made that hit hard. It was the briefness that gave this poem its flair.

Really, really great. I love it.
#8
Quote by we have sound

Did anyone even understand it?

I'm not sure. Is their daily bread the biblical kind?

it is completely over my head
yet I love it. The piece is just spectacular
#10
Quote by we have sound


"you whore! you whore!"
cried the commoners to their queen
as she gave them their daily bread.
yet
how they loved her
when she strung them up and cut out their souls.



My interpretation was a sort of mix between a low class/ poor person being thankful for law, and order, and that of hating th eupper class who help them.

And also how those upper class then exploit the poor.

That was what I got .

So I took something out of it, which, like I said, made the read worth while.
#12
eh. That was in the back of my mind as I read it. I couldn't figure it out exactly, but apart from what I got above, there was always something inside of me that thought - "no, it's got to be about ****ing, it's got to be about ****ing. "
#13

It's about a woman you take for granted until she throws you away and you realise what you felt for her




love is a dog from hell.



#16
It conjured up images of homeless people on the streets. beggars.

at least in my head.

since you owe me like five useless comments, feel free to check out any in my sig
#17
I didnt like it. It was so... shallow. sounded like something you wrote quickly at the bustop that sounded excellent at the time, and still looks excellent in your notebook, but just won't ever really connect with an audience (ie. me).

Eh, just my two cents.

Though, I do like the contradictions throughout, and the mere fact that you were able to include so many paradoxes within such a small piece is impressive in of itself.