#1
And I want to hear what you guys think. Here is the text, I am doing the images tomorrow. Any suggestions would be nice. (This isn't intended for actual children, it is just a measure of understanding that also entertains our teacher.)

The working title is "Sam I Am loses his job"


Pg.1
One day Sam I Am, a traveling salesman for Mom’s Green Eggs and Ham, was riding home on his evening train. As usual Sam was trying to delight the other riders with the joys of Green Eggs and Ham.

Pg.2
Sadly the other riders did not like Green eggs and ham, and would not eat them on a train. This made Sam very sad, he knew if his fellow riders would not eat them on the train, they would not eat them here or there, they would not eat them anywhere! Because he couldn’t sell enough Green Eggs and Ham Sam knew he could lose his job, but the demand just wasn’t there.

Pg.3
When Sam I Am got home his wife, Jenny I Am, and his son, Billy I Will Be, came to the door looking very sad. Jenny told Sam, “There was a message from work, they told you not to come back. How could you do this to us, you sorry sad sack?”

Pg.4
Sam knew his misfortune just couldn’t last, he’d collect unemployment insurance, as he’d done in the past. But to collect the insurance he’d have to look for a job, yet Sam had only one skill, and that made him sob.

Pg.5
After looking at job after job to no end, Sam realized he’d soon have no money to spend. Sam had to find a temporary job he could do with ease so he could keep Jenny and Billy healthy and clean.

Pg.6
Sam knew if he took a lesser job he’d be misrepresenting his state of employment, for now it was lesser. The papers would scream, “Unemployment’s gone down, for old Sam has found a job on the far side of town!” But Sam knew that even if he made less that Jenny and Billy would have less need for distress.

Pg.7
Sam found a job with a company that sold Blue Crepes and Spam. He made less than before, but he kept the <expletive> from the fan. Though the Bureau of Labor Statistics was pleased with his progress, Sam had to find a job that suited his skills… With green he was flawless!

Pg.8
Sam went to his grandfather, wise old Billy I Was, and asked him some questions about a job he could love. Old Billy I Was looked down and said with a grin; “Sam, unemployment ain’t so bad, really. You should have taken advantage of the insurance for a while. You could have lived off inferior goods, Crispy Hexagon cereal ain’t bad. The insurance was supposed to buy time to find a better job, but you failed at that… So good luck!”

Pg.9
So Sam went to work all day and job searched at night. He left home in the morning so exhausted it gave Sally a fright. But after weeks of searching Sam found the job that was best, at something approaching his old pay-scale no less! So Sam left Blue Crepes and Spam to guaranteed greener pastures. He joined the team at Green Toast and Spam, with green he was the master!


Thanks in advance for your help UG. I have faith in you.
#2
Inb4Icumblood
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

Quote by eggsandham2
cuz ppl hate how power metal they are cuz they think its "gay" or w.e, which is immature and dirogitory
#4
Ummmmm


Copyright infringement?
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#5
That's why you had a laughing face

I dunno, I felt like making a useless post.
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

Quote by eggsandham2
cuz ppl hate how power metal they are cuz they think its "gay" or w.e, which is immature and dirogitory
#7
NICE! i'd buy that book!

This is Larry The If you click him, he will give you magic powers.
srsly.


If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more, Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
#8
I think you should change "Sam I Am" to something cooler like.... "Terminator". Imagine him losing his job and starting to work at a bakery or something...
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#9
Perfect for a children's story!

Since Unemployment Insurance is a fantasy and doesn't actually exist, it's the perfect subject matter.
"Virtually no one who is taught Relativity continues to read the Bible."

#15
Quote by Keef-is-king
unemployment insurance exists.
Ever been unemployed?

Obviously not.
"Virtually no one who is taught Relativity continues to read the Bible."

#16
Quote by Bubonic Chronic
Ever been unemployed?

Obviously not.


It does, in New York state it is akin to workman's compensation for workers whom lose their job through no fault of their own. They become eligible to receive benefits up to a certain percentage of their prior salary under the condition that with regular auditing by the unemployment agency within the NYS department of labor. Usually these are known as unemployment benefits, which is technically a form of insurance given that they insure you against total economic downfall in the face of a not-at-fault situation.

You my dim witted postee are an idiot and should be battered with a cudgel.

For the record I have been employed, and I have paid the taxes necessary to support this program, it showed up on my pay check.
#17
You should write something about how sam's kids can't understand why daddy doesn't go out anymore, just stares at the TV with a beer in his hand occasionally getting pissed off at what he sees on the news.
#19
Quote by lt hopkins
insert lol wut pear



you make no sense at all.
#20
Quote by Joey Radical
I think you should change "Sam I Am" to something cooler like.... "Terminator". Imagine him losing his job and starting to work at a bakery or something...


Terminator IV: He'll terminate your hunger with his delicious apple pies.
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Quote by emagdnimasisiht
haha
This is the funniest thing i've ever read on UG.
lespaulrocks39, you sir are awesome.
#22
i read it! it's awesome!

This is Larry The If you click him, he will give you magic powers.
srsly.


If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more, Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
#23
you better change his wifes name to Pam I Am, or else youre gonna have some pissed off alliteration fans.
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..
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I have no opinion on this matter.
#24
Quote by lt hopkins
insert lol wut pear


Quote by 20cdndollars
You are god, floppypick



Floppydick


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#25
This story needs moar rape.


Seriously though good luck, tis decent.
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