#1
Sort of out of my usual style but anyways, crits opinions and anything else is appreciated. I wrote this quickly on the fly in the morning so I believe some more editing is due.


That old flame came dancin' back
into my embrace
And we were good again, good again-i-an

We headed out to that old spring meadow
and played all day, all day-e-ay

We danced, we danced, we danced
and it was good again, again

'til the sunset we kindled our old love
and it was blissfully blissfull

We fell to the grass and curled up close
staring back at each other with soft eyes

she leaned in close to my ear
her warm breath ignited my soul
then she whispered

"Wake up, Your're dreaming"

suddenly, I was back in that cold place
glancing around with heavy sunk eyes
matching heavy sunk heart
I heaved a sigh.


I'm not sure to keep the title, I haven't really found anything that fits so a title suggestion would be helpfull too.
Thanks for anything.


Love the Low end
#2
Sounds cool, i like the style , it's a bit rough but as your said, a little more editing is due, as for a title "Wake Up, You're Dreaming" sounds good to me.
"A musician should not be measured by the skill at which they perform, but the passion, and love for music with which they are playing."
Last edited by Scion at Apr 30, 2008,