#1
not really a song much less a stanza......got bored so i started writing and this popped up


fell asleep this morning
and awoke last night
the stars are so alluring
stretching to my tree with strings
a seamless army armed with scissors
came and cut away my dreams
#2
The rules of this forum (last time I read them) said that poems had to be 8 lines or longer so... hmmm... maybe add 2?

But it just... sits... or feels like it... I can't explain it properly really. It's nice, but not enthralling. I believe that if you expanded on it it could be much easier to associate with. However, ending with the cut away dreams part leaves a message so i'd end on that as well.
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#3
It's nice, but you can't expect anyone to say it's excellent to an unfinished writing.

Finish it, it starts out with good potential, the end should keep the reader with the most energy out of the poem.
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