#1
This winter I look forward to seeing the ocean
While locked inside a small room with microphones
And penning songs about little mentioned happenings
Based mostly on my life, and those of my friends

And the waves that crash will drive me on easily
Motivating me to believe in nothing but that sound
And the breakers as they break up these forces
That can mold mountains and cliffs given enough time

So Halcyon, if you decide to calm my creative hand again
To slow me down and incubate on myself for no real reason
I may be forced to find your roost and blow you into the ocean
Where not even your powers can calm it's thirst,


****ing bird...
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."
#3
A Halcyon is a bird, like a Kingfisher that can apparently calm the waves while it is incubating.

It's a metaphor
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."
#5
Lol.

It's not against the rules.

I felt some more rhyme would aid the flow of this, other than that it's solid again.

Keep it going. You playing live much?

Ug Tv?
#6
I'm thinking about it Jammy. I haven't been getting out much because i'm trying to find a band line up for my new band that i'm happy with and it's a little bit harder than I thought it would be, so maybe some acoustic pieces. Thanks for the idea though.

And to M-D it's called that because I'll remember it, it's actually saved on my computer as that haha. I'm not doing it to force you to read it but for my own benefit when i'm going through my pieces hope that explains.

Cheers
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."
#8
I see you receive word of the day too.
As for the piece I don't have time to comment much, but I enjoyed it.
#9
that was awesome. 'nough said.

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." - Jimi Hendrix
#11
Quote by Ad*Astra
I see you receive word of the day too.
As for the piece I don't have time to comment much, but I enjoyed it.


Hahaha, I don't normally, but yeah I just needed some inspiration and whenever I need that I just check it out. It's osmething I never used to do but lately I need it. So much is happening in my life that I can't write about because I just don't know how, happiness is not something I can normally put into lyrics/poems.

And, even though this was meant to be a poem i'm tempted to put music to this now. Thanks guys.
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."
#14
Thanks guys

I just put music to it so I'll get around to recording it soon

____________

Thanks Synth. I posted this piece because I haven't written like that in a while, just taking a word and using it. Makes me think I should start writing like that again hahahaha
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."
Last edited by Auals at May 5, 2008,
#16
Quote by Auals
This winter I look forward to seeing the ocean
While locked inside a small room with microphones
And penning songs about little mentioned happenings
Based mostly on my life, and those of my friends

And the waves that crash will drive me on easily
Motivating me to believe in nothing but that sound
And the breakers as they break up these forces
That can mold mountains and cliffs given enough time

So Halcyon, if you decide to calm my creative hand again
To slow me down and incubate on myself for no real reason
I may be forced to find your roost and blow you into the ocean
Where not even your powers can calm it's thirst,


****ing bird...


very good. the second line in the lazt stanza sounded kinda awkward though with "and incubate on myself". other than that i thought it was really good and read beautifully. i can't really describe it, but i really envy your songwriting. mine has always been a bunch of disjointed quips and thoughts strung together, but you are able to write clearly without being blunt as well as artistically without being too vague.

i really like the last line too (assuming that's part of it ). i like (albeit conservative) use of slang and colloquial language juxtaposed with a lot of intricate writing. it's a crapshoot from what i usually see of whether it works or not, but here it seems very well placed. almost like the piece is a daydream and suddenly you snap out of it at the end.

keep up the good work.
#DTWD