#1
Verse one
People are people
They search for their meaning
they live in the worry
of meaningless deeds

Sometimes they feel
as trapped as me
the few who know me
they are the ones...

Chorus
I receive love
and I love them back
People search for peace
when they have it here
they do not realize that
I receive love
and I love them back
yeah yeah
ohh ohh
mhm thats right

Verse 2
The people are trapped
In their Vices
The beings are made
To simply refine
At least they know
That I am here waiting
I am the call that will take them back
Alllll the wayyyyy

Chorus
I receive love
and I love them back
People search for peace
when they have it here
they do not realize that
I receive love
and I love them back
Thats right

Bridge
In the cities living
I sit and wait for them
In the cities living
They don't see the answer
In the Cities living
I am right hereeee
In the cities living
People don't find there way

Outro
I am the world

I am nothing at all

I am their kin

I am their peace

Noooo onee seeeees

Few beeeelieveeee

Itsss sooo easyyyyy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is something I just slapped together on the spot because I felt like writing and I was on the computer. This is the way I feel about people in the world with their pursuit of happiness, the song is written in the perspective of whatever you feel it might be, the thing that brings you to peace. Most of us here would probably think the guitar is speaking to humanity as a whole, while others it could be sports or fashion.

The tempo is moderate, to the style of Under the Bridge(Vocally) since it got stuck in my head halfway thru.

I hope you guys like it. Suggest away anything you want.
#2
man some people post some **** on here that tortures you as you read but this is nice perhaps cliche but i like it good rhythm in Under The Bridge and thats the song i was singing as i read that
Well Done
#3
Thanks man. I hope it is well perceived...It might be my first work if I can get the band to work out a rhythm for it or just use this instead of using under the bridges' lyrics.
#5
After what you said about the Under the Bridge rhythm the piece seemd to flow a little better for me than it did when I first read it. That said, it sounds like you have used the "ghost-writing" technique, where you take the rhythm of a song and write your own lyrics over the top. It's a great technique to get you writing, but you should try and write your own music for it as well, cause if you just use the music from Under the Bridge people will dismiss you straight away as having ripped off the Chili Peppers, which you haven't but some people could misconstrue your meanings.

Now onto the piece. Overall I liked it, but there are some parts which seem a little cliche and overused. For example:

Sometimes they feel
as trapped as me
the few who know me
they are the ones...


This whole stanza seems as if you are trying to get a personal meaning across but the idea of "them being as trapped as you" and "the ones" is a very common theme in music. I can see where the personal feelings come into it, but I think there are better ways you could put them across.

In verse 2 you could change the second line to "Inside their vices" because it has a better flow than "In their vices", also you could perhaps lose the last line cause to me it doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the verse, and the verse is just as effective without it, the "I am the call that will take them back line" is a better line to finish the verse on.

The chorus is the weak point of the song to me. I just didn't feel the flow, perhaps it's the way I am reading it, but I think with some work you could make it alot better.

All in all it's a good piece man, could do with a little improvement here and there but that will come with more writing. Hope to read more of your stuff in the future!

-Toby
#6
Thanks Toby.

As I stated I was a tad tired and out of my mind a little bit at 4:45 AM...now Quarter till 9.

Anyway I didn't want to give the meaning away on the first verse. Think of it like the "godfather" or a reallllly good book. You always notice something new that change your perspective on the song and the music around it. I might mess with the first verse and see what I can come up with.