#1
This piece strays far from the kind of work I usually do, and I'm glad I tried something new. Any and all criticism is welcome and appreciated.

My scarlet guardian angel,
Carry me on wings of raven down.
I will keep you without falter;
My resolve will be your adamancy.
Last edited by Winter Sky at Aug 5, 2009,
#2
Very delicately-worded. I liked it.

Do you plan on making it any longer than that? I feel as if an "opera" is indicative of length - unless you purposely used that title with a short piece, to get a certain effect, or if the brevity itself is a part of the purpose; as I said, it seems very delicately-worded, and with short pieces, the words need to be chosen much more carefully, so I'm not sure if lengthening it would be a good or a bad thing.

Those are my thoughts.
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#3
Yes, it was intended to be a short piece with each word and line chosen carefully to most effectively build the feeling it should imply. With that said, I think any addition would only take from the emotion of it.

And again, yes, the word 'opera' in the title is to set a certain contrast and also add reference to the piece. Thank you for the criticism and input; I wasn't sure how this piece would be taken, considering this is my first short piece.
#4
I like it.

intended as a poem- it's very lovely.

as a song of course, quite short.

I think the last line sounds a little... weird to me. not sure.
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#5
Oh, it's definitely intended to be solely a poem. The word "thine" might be what's making it sound odd. I've since changed it to "your" on all of my other blogs and such, so I'll change it here too.
#6
ah, much better.
Quote by FatalGear41
I wouldn't call what we have here on the Bass Forum a mentality. It's more like the sharing part of an AA meeting.

Quote by Jason Jillard
HUMANITY WHATS WRONG WITH YOU.


Warwick Fortress>>Acoustic AB50

http://www.myspace.com/rustingbloom