#2
I couldnt really hear the guitar very well, as the quality wasnt very good.

The general idea seems to be good. You need to work on your voice though. I think the song is too lower key for your voice to handle, and you also seem to be singing unnecessarily quietly, if you could perhaps gain a bit more confidence and go all out. It would be better that way, man.

But yeah, the idea behind it was a good one. As you said... the quality's bad, and the singing is quiet... if those two things were sorted, I think you'd have a pretty good song here.

C4C?
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=14097074#post14097074
#3
all right thanks. It is actually my friends first try at song writing, and he usually sings lower than that anyways.
#4
Ok, this is a critique, so I'm going to be honest...

The execution of that song was not good. I think the song itself could be done well, if the singer loosened up and tried a bit harder.

What I'm reminded of is a singer with horrible stage freight. You're singing so softly. Let go and sing!

My best suggestion, try it again. Record this again and try to just let go and not be too concerned about your voice. Sing loud, project your voice, sing from your chest, not your head. Sing at LEAST twice as loud as you were. It's a soft song, so you don't have to belt it out like I do or anything (I've been accused of being OVERpowering), but bring it up.

PM me if you post the song again, I'd like to hear the improvements.

Some of my stuff: