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#1
http://www.gibson.com/allaccessFeatures.aspx?aliaspath=/AllAccess/I%20Knew%20the%20Bride%20When%20She%20Used

He legally married a guitar

On Saturday, April 28, 29-year-old Louisville, Kentucky native Cory Moore legally married his 2004 Cherry ES-335. The union was performed at Moore’s Madison, Tennessee home by Minister Jack Madden, 34, a friend of Moore’s who had been ordained online by the Universal Life Church. More than two dozen of Moore’s friends and families attended the remarkably traditional ceremony, bearing witness to vows penned by Moore himself. An example: “I, Cory, take you, Roxanne [the name Moore has given the instrument], to rock and to roll, for as long as I live.”

“The day I got her, I just knew she was the one,” Moore stated when reached for comment. “I know it seems weird, but I really love her—like, really love her, with all my heart. I just wanted to make it official.”

The whole situation begs the question of monogamy. Yes, Moore has vowed to forsake all others. “The 335 is all I play anyway, ever since I got it,” he says. “It’s perfect.”

Moore says he sold his early ’90s SG on eBay, and gave his 1997 Les Paul Custom—which Moore wistfully describes as “totally sweet”—to his brother Kevin Moore, who acted as best man for the ceremony.

Not surprisingly, this is Moore’s first marriage. He has no children. Moore laughed when asked if there could be a Les Paul Junior in his future. “That would be crazy,” he said.
#3
Lol guitar sex.
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#8
That's really cool.

He must have a really small penis, though, to have sex with a guitar.
The.
#9
Quote by Fraz01
*Horrible mental image of man shagging guitar's f-holes*.


He has an f-shaped penis
Quote by IHATECHILDREN
That's really cool.

He must have a really small penis, though, to have sex with a guitar.


hmm, not strictly true. I could cut holes in the guitar....bigger holes......
Quote by dark&broken
I'd like to see any of those meathead homophobes look a Spartan in the eye and call him a fag.

#11
What happens when someone else plays the guitar?


'You cheating bitch!'
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#12
WTF?!?! He sold his Les Paul custom and Gibson SG to keep a ES335?

Wow...what a loser.
P.L.U.R.

We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end

We were fated to pretend
#15
lol

"do we see any Les Paul Juniors in the future?"
"No!!! That would be crazy!!"

well this guy is completely sane...
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#16
Quote by punkrocker10115
WTF?!?! He sold his Les Paul custom and Gibson SG to keep a ES335?

Wow...what a loser.



Opinion... respect it bitch.
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#17
That's sick! She's 3 years old and we all know she's hollow inside!

Btw he got ordained by the universal life church! Remember the topic about that on here!
#18
I'd make fun of this but I got dumped once after a 6 month relationship with my ex-girlfriend because she was tired of being "second" to my guitar collection
Out here you've gotta know where your towel is!
#19
Well, people have married odder things I guess.. I just don't remember what..
In the corner beside my window
There hangs a lonely photograph
There is no reason
I'd never notice a memory that could hold me back

Siis mitä häh?
#21
Not surprisingly, this is Moore’s first marriage. He has no children. Moore laughed when asked if there could be a Les Paul Junior in his future. “That would be crazy,” he said.


Crazier than marrying a fucking guitar? I don't think so, you freak.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#23
Quote by pugnapugnapugna
I don't see what all the ES-335 hate is.. They're beautiful guitars.


And more versatile than most Gibsons.
Quote by Nosferatu Man

T-shirts are a sign of degeneration and decline.
#24
Quote by pugnapugnapugna
I don't see what all the ES-335 hate is.. They're beautiful guitars.


I guess they aren't br00tal enough for the pit.
#26
I wonder if that guy has UG.

Any day now we're gonna see: "So I just got married to my guitar..."
Gear
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#28
Quote by punkrocker10115
WTF?!?! He sold his Les Paul custom and Gibson SG to keep a ES335?

Wow...what a loser.


It does seem a little odd, yes.

More odd is the fact that HE MARRIED A ****ING GUITAR. I think you might've missed that bit.
#30
Quote by pugnapugnapugna
I don't see what all the ES-335 hate is.. They're beautiful guitars.


Yeah, they are nice. Hell of a lot nicer than an SG.
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That was a different Feb08er that threatened to suck you off
I remember that


Sadly, I was the threatened.
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Let it be known that I concur with everything this gentleman says, ever.



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#31
i can tell he's a virgin... but so am i =(
Oct. 20th, 2009: New guitar AND front row for Mars Volta.

Quote by denizenz
Is that a ukulele in your pants, or did you just rip ass to the tune of "Aloha Oi"?


I met Sonic Youth on June 30th, and Mars Volta on Oct 20th.
#32
Too bad Gibsons blow dic k.
Quote by larrytheguitar

I put the blanket over me and make my knees into a 'tent' so he couldn't see my boner. I jizzed while he gave me a lecture on using coasters.


BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME IS ALWAYS RELEVANT
#33
The bit I liked best was

Quote by Gibson Website
Not surprisingly, this is Moore’s first marriage.


#34
Quote by IbanezSA160a
Too bad Gibsons blow dic k.


says the dragonforce fan
Oct. 20th, 2009: New guitar AND front row for Mars Volta.

Quote by denizenz
Is that a ukulele in your pants, or did you just rip ass to the tune of "Aloha Oi"?


I met Sonic Youth on June 30th, and Mars Volta on Oct 20th.
#36
i know i kid, i kid.
Oct. 20th, 2009: New guitar AND front row for Mars Volta.

Quote by denizenz
Is that a ukulele in your pants, or did you just rip ass to the tune of "Aloha Oi"?


I met Sonic Youth on June 30th, and Mars Volta on Oct 20th.
#37
Quote by soundgarden19
i know i kid, i kid.



ach yer alright anyway, back on topic before we start hearing stirrings of dissent from the videogames-music camp...
#38
Well.........this odd to say the least


At least it's a classy guitar, I mean, what if he would have married a Dean Razorback????

Forza Juve


'e voglia 'e mettere rum, chi nasce strunz' nun po' addiventà babbà
#40
do you think if someone stole it and replaced it with another cherry red es335 he'd notice?
Quote by bassmanjoe08
Dan

Don't stop being you <3


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I think after this relentless adding for the last 10 mins, that Dan is the coolest looking. Goddamn welsh people and my great etc etc etc etc etc granddad is welsh.
Last edited by skater dan0 at May 5, 2008,
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