#1
So here's the deal:

I'm in this band with my longtime-leadguitar friend, a rythm guitar and a drummer. The band is fine, the muisc isn't that horrible...but the drummer is.

He's a arrogant little prick. He complains about everything, everyday. He wears these ugly hip-hop clothes and if anything even moves close to them he goes mad and shouts at the one that closed his precious clothes. If he gets 30 minutes less bandpractice for whatever reason he also goes complaining about it, even the next day, and next...and next.

He considers the leadguitar a saint. He's a great guitarist, but he isn't some kind of god of it. Anf if anything should change the drummer speaks to my guitarist friend first. They even chose to change the direction of the abdn and kick out the rythm guitar without even telling me first.

We often engage in word fights and often call each other stupid names and such, I'm the bassplayer and it's pretty obvious I am more needed than respected as a musician or wanted because I'm good at what I do(or so I am told by others at least). Hell, the PA system I play trought at rehearsals broke down once and I went to see what the problem was, the others stopped and the drummer asked why, I said the bass broke down and he goes "Well, I heard it", to which I reply "How could you? It wasn't even on". He can't tell difference between Laney guitar amp bass turned to 7 or a actual bass.

He's an annyoing person, and I seriously can't take it any longer. it doens't help that he's in the whole Metallica/slipknot/whatever phase either. I don't look forward to going to bandpractice anymore because he will just be an ass. I have come to the conclusion that I don't really wanna be in the band, because of him. And:

If I leave I will miss it out on gig experience, being social with the whole band, and I will just miss out on the whole band-life, basically.

If I stay I have to put up with his damn personailty, something can't really do.


Any advice?
#3
so it would be better for you to get HIM out of the band, you said you're good mates with the lead guitarist, talk to him about it first, then maybe you 2 can take it from there, get everyone on your side and you can kick the little **** out the band = happy days
#4
Talk with the other members of the band and see if they want to kick him out too.
#5
To be honest, and this sucks, bass players often get kicked around. I don't do it to mine, but I do know alot that this happens to. In your situation I would leave the band and get another gig going. If you are not happy at practice you will not be happy at gigs likely. I certainly would not take that treatment and I would get extremely pissed about it. You have your place and deserve to be respected for it. You are right about one thing, this guy seems to be an ass.
Out here you've gotta know where your towel is!
#6
hmm i have a similar problem but with my whole band. they never wanna do anything musical. kick this douchebag out of the band unless he is an amazingly good drummer which i doubt he is.
#7
Well, thing is that I'm pretty sure in thinking this about him, because he only chooses to fight with me over stuff. Example; We got a saxofon as well (sometimes), and before a gig I helped him to get his part right and we went trough the minor scale. The drummer is in his room (we practice at his house), and when we come back he's all "So you have never played the song correctly?" meaning me, as if I were so lousy of a bassist that I couldn't play the song correctly. Even if everyone knew very well that the saxofonist had not practiced his solo, and that's why i was helping me. Simple things like that pretty much all the time, it doesn't seem much maybe but it really is. I'm a soft-spoken guy, I don't need to be surrounded by people, I don't need call other people names to feel secure in myself; so I don't Obviously this maturity is something he lacks, as he constantly needs to offence others to feel secure. I have actually brought it up, but they just laugh and says that's the way it goes. And I think it's even more ****ed up if he continues doing it after I told him clearly that I don't like it.

As I said, I believe I'm alone in thinking he's an ass, so I doubt anyone else would kick him out, especially since the rythm guitar and he is close friends longtime, and I also know that the leadguitarist don't mind him. He has said to me to just ignore the drummers outbursts because that's what he does. Then again, he's not taking **** everyday from the drummer(eh confusing). Oh yeah, the drummer is good. He's actually one of the better, but I would trade him for a nice guy anytime. I'd rather play with someone half his skill that's a nice person.

I'm pretty confident that I will be asked to leave if they learn what I feel. Sadly enough.
Last edited by Strati at May 5, 2008,
#8
Why don't you explain to your guitarists your problem and since I'm guessing they do not want to part ways with the drummer. Ask if they would be willing to do a kind of side project band with you and without the drummer. The guitarists would be playing in two bands if they don't mind. But if it works out then that would hopefully solve your problem and, still keep your guitar players happy. Or maybe start your own new band but I'd start looking for drummers now, luckily you play bass which is usually the hardest to find, or join another band since bassists are usually in such high demand.

Also, work on your writing, I can barley understand what you're saying.
#9
i agree with TNA, bassists are quite hard to find (atleast in my sourroundings they are), so i think u shud try an find a band (secretly) so the other members of ur band dont kno, and then if you find the right one u warn the drummer and THE OTHER BAND MEMBERS (very important) that if he dosnt stop with this sh*t, u'll quit, which'll leaves them with 3 options:
1) they talk to the drummer or kik him out (if he continues dont givem another chance just say, either he goes or i go)
2) they kik u oout and soon find out that they cant get a new bassist so easily, so they ask u to join again, and ull be treated with respect/
3) they find a new bassist after kiking u out and u join the new band u found, so if this new band becomes more succesfull than the old on, u can rub it in the drummers face, if thay ask u bak, tellem to f*** off.

- either way YOU WIN!!!!!

plz let me kno of wat u think of my advice!
#10
Well, the funny thing is that me and the leadguitar has another band and had it long before this one, and we both agree that the music there is hundred times better. This band that this situation is about is a band we joined because they asked us too. So it's not like I got nothing to fall back on. There is no doubt the other one will be more succesfull.

By the way, the rehearsal space is in the drummers house so to kick him out would be like disbanding the band, really, because we are all from different locations. I doubt they will.

I have thought about this for a very long time, and in truth I made my decision already when the drummer called me out to be unintelligent at practice. This was because I had missed to make a rather unimportant phonecall. Being called dumb just because he can't make the phonecalls himself was pretty much the last drop. I just want to stay in the band for gig-experience, but I don't think it's worth it in the long run, really.
#11
What you gotta ask yourself is, does he feel the same way about you? And how do the rest of the band feel about him?
If he doesn't feel the same way about you and if the rest of the band like him, then you are the problem and you should either put up with it or leave.
If he feels the same way about you as you do of him, then it's a personality clash. The choices for this scenario are;
Leave
Stay and just hope that you can both be grown up enough to put your differences aside.
Talk to him in an attempt to put your differences aside.
Bug the living daylights out of him until he leaves, but hope that everyone else doesn't get fed up of the way you treat him and throw you out.
If the rest of the band hate him too, just get together and sack the gimp.

Quote by Strati
Well, the funny thing is that me and the leadguitar has another band and had it long before this one, and we both agree that the music there is hundred times better. This band that this situation is about is a band we joined because they asked us too. So it's not like I got nothing to fall back on. There is no doubt the other one will be more succesfull.

By the way, the rehearsal space is in the drummers house so to kick him out would be like disbanding the band, really, because we are all from different locations. I doubt they will.

I have thought about this for a very long time, and in truth I made my decision already when the drummer called me out to be unintelligent at practice. This was because I had missed to make a rather unimportant phonecall. Being called dumb just because he can't make the phonecalls himself was pretty much the last drop. I just want to stay in the band for gig-experience, but I don't think it's worth it in the long run, really.

So it's not really a problem then is it.
Last edited by SlackerBabbath at May 6, 2008,
#12
Hell if you're already in another band that you say is much better then I would have left a long time ago.
#14
Our band tried to kick out the bassist, I told them if they do I'll quit, and I've written all the songs, but the lead singer decided he was being an ass and apologized for wanting him out. A few of the things you listed shouldn't even be problems, liek the cloths, who cares what he wears, and if he wants at least 30 min of practice that's a good thing, if i was with the right people i'd practice all day almost everyday.
#15
Quote by Strati
Well, the funny thing is that me and the leadguitar has another band and had it long before this one, and we both agree that the music there is hundred times better. This band that this situation is about is a band we joined because they asked us too. So it's not like I got nothing to fall back on. There is no doubt the other one will be more succesfull.

By the way, the rehearsal space is in the drummers house so to kick him out would be like disbanding the band, really, because we are all from different locations. I doubt they will.

I have thought about this for a very long time, and in truth I made my decision already when the drummer called me out to be unintelligent at practice. This was because I had missed to make a rather unimportant phonecall. Being called dumb just because he can't make the phonecalls himself was pretty much the last drop. I just want to stay in the band for gig-experience, but I don't think it's worth it in the long run, really.



-u wanna stay for gigg experience???
if the other band is better, why dont u get gigg experience with them????!
if i were u id go to the drummer and tell him:" ive put up with ur **** long enough, im leavin"

then ull be able to concentrate twice as much on the ther band!
#16
Our band tried to kick out the bassist, I told them if they do I'll quit, and I've written all the songs, but the lead singer decided he was being an ass and apologized for wanting him out. A few of the things you listed shouldn't even be problems, liek the cloths, who cares what he wears, and if he wants at least 30 min of practice that's a good thing, if i was with the right people i'd practice all day almost everyday.


I didn't say I cared about the clothes, I barely said he acts so oversensitive to everything around him. Me and the other gutarist are dependant on getting rides with people home so I don't really think it's that unreasonable for us to leave 30 minutes if we absolutely have to, without him freaking out about it.

My other band has better music, but we got no singer, the one we just recruited left just as fast as we got him. The singer in the the first band I talked about is prety uskcy but we're searching for another one. Conclusion: the other band has no gigs yet.
#19
These are your options:

1.Kick him out and be a band without a drummer
2.get a new drummer
3.get a drum machine
4.you leave the band and get a new band
5.talk to him about his act
6.put up with it
7.ignore him in the band
8.have a BIG band meeting with everyone in the band and see how they feel.
#20
you should sacrifice him or leave

EDIT: i meant kick him...

"The mind is its own place, and in itself

Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n"

- John Milton, Paradise Lost
Last edited by metallicafan616 at May 8, 2008,
#22
Kill him and sacrifice him to the Gods. That's what I've always wanted to do to my drummer. Never did, though.

Seriously though, just tell him he's being a pr*ck and ask him politely to change (he won't). At this point, (remember to keep smiling), draw back your hand and give him the hardest punch you can muster. If nothing's broken afterwards, it wasn't hard enough.
#23
He sounds like an overall a**hole that is tolerable to his friends. One of those people is always good to have around, so I say learn to be his buddy like the two guitarists have and he'll suddenly stop giving you a hard time.

Your posts make him sound like a pretty darn bad person, but I can't help but feel as I'm reading that something is left out; He basically called you dumb a few times and is the type of person always looking for conflict? are you sure your personality isn't part of the problem too TS, maybe you are a)over reacting, or b) the kind of person that draws this type of attention out of someone like the drummer. I'm not accusing you of it, but just think about that possibility a bit, I get the feelings from your posts that you are a bit passive and oversensative. You'd be better off either letting his remarks roll off, or standing up and establishing that you are dominant, but certainly not quietly brooding over it all and occasionally whining.