#1
So I have five new songs on my account, but of course thats unreasonable so I ask crit for 2 specific ones.

the first: Dream:I

It an all acoustic song. I have been trying to sing for years and well I suck. But I feel I have it down to a bearable level. I really wanted to write a story song, so please all crits would be appreciated, even if it is to say, you suck haha. But constructive ones would really be awesome!

the second:Holy Cow, Your Dad's Batting For The Wrong Team

A joke song, really funny lyrics ( I think) if you can't take a joke, don't play it. Its a mix between 50's music and pop punk, obviously, not what I usually play but Ive been really trying to branch out and make anything that comes to my mind.

All in my profile

again Crit for Crit.... thanks
Originally posted by J_Dizzle
THAAAANK YOU GoodCharloteSux is god
#2
dream is kinda deep and makes you think a bit. the second one reminded my of what blink's MTT (mark tom & travis show). keep what your doin up but dont waste to much time/money with joke songs, theyre cool every once in a while, your band dosent want a bad rep
HiMyNameIsMatt
#3
I love Dream. A little work on the higher vocals other than that its very good. Reminds me of Bob Dylan a little.

Holy cow your dad batting for the wrong teams quality was kinda bad. Everything was too loud thus it gave the recording fuzzy sounding. all in all not a bad song. Couldent hear the lyrics that well.
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#4
^ agreed but what i could make out was kinda funnny, did your voice crack a little bit or did you move up with your voice suddenly?
HiMyNameIsMatt
#5
Thanks for the crits so far, just thought I'd throw it out there I do everything myself, no band, just me. Yea I agree, the clean guitar is a bit too loud in the beginning of Dad, that one you need to kind of put the volume up a bit, I mastered it like crap on mistake haha

Quote by surge666
^ agreed but what i could make out was kinda funnny, did your voice crack a little bit or did you move up with your voice suddenly?


dude I couldn't tell you, It was a totally one take thing and the lyrics were written in 5 minutes. I bet it did crack. I can hear the words alright, not as good as teh acoustic song obviously but I just have to turn it up a bit.
Originally posted by J_Dizzle
THAAAANK YOU GoodCharloteSux is god
#6
i liked the chord progression in Dream i. vocals were pretty good, could use some work, they are a bit nazal, but overall a good efford.

the chorus was interesting. the dream within a dream idea is a good one. the chorus high vocals are a bit too rough...try making your voice sound as smooth as possible. like molten lava and menthol cigarrettes haha.

thanks for the crit.
Too cool for a signature.
#7
It felt like two different people were singing in Dreams. The lower, Johnny Cash style vocals and the higher, pop-punk vocals. It would be better to stick to one vocal style, as having two really throws it off.

I didn't like "Holy Cow, Your Dad's Batting For The Wrong Team". Lyrically... bad. Plus, the sound of it was really off. The drums were barely audiable and teh distorted guitar were too loud compared to the instruments. Not to mention, the lyrics weren't that funny. Maybe for a ten year old, but not for me. Sorry.
#8
^ thanks for the honest opinion, No BS.... as I mentioned before, I can;t sing and I usually don;t, but I really wanted to get those lyrics out there.
Originally posted by J_Dizzle
THAAAANK YOU GoodCharloteSux is god
#9
work on your upper range ( the only vocals thread in musician talk is your friend, especially the first page.) Also i think the biggest thing you're lacking is confidence.
#10
Hey man just listening and critting as I go,

I think something you should DEFINATELY do, is just add reverb to your vocals. I think it will improve them alot. You fall flat at times, but at other times you hit the note fine. I like the "I had a dream" part, you sound great there. Love the chord progression by the way, really really insteresting, one I have not heard before strangely enough.

Keep it up man, 8/10. Crit me? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=853903
#11
^ I'll experiment with that, thanks for the suggestion!
Originally posted by J_Dizzle
THAAAANK YOU GoodCharloteSux is god
#12
don't add to much though...reverb is like an addiction, and before you know it, your recording will sound like it was recorded in a tin can.
Too cool for a signature.
#13
^ yea, I'm pretty desperate because my range is not existential. I can either pass for a bored guy singing a guitar or a hardcore vocalist haha...which I should upload hmmmmmmmmm... be right back lol
Originally posted by J_Dizzle
THAAAANK YOU GoodCharloteSux is god