#1
hey all i need some help with this one. im trying to write something to express emptiness but i need help. here's what i have so far.

Today I awoke in a daze,
Startled by an unknown feeling,
A feeling that could destroy a man.
It was the feeling of emptiness,
The feeling that so many others feel today,
The feeling that the starving children feel,
And the feeling that those mothers feel when they pass.

any help would be appreciated. please email me at

together.we.await.the.storm@gmail.com

Thanks!
#2
AARGH! too many "feelings" at once = headache...

/joke

seriously tho, to me, too many instances of feeling
#4
I appreciate that its meaningful to you, but for general consideration that many repetitions might be seen as limited in vocab and indicative of your (probably wrong) poor range...

Sorry for the negatives...