#1
Death of a genre
Imploding box shaped like a heart
Where three guys from Seattle
Knocked Michael Jackson from the top of the charts
And the guitar strings still reek of teen spirit
It only takes one song to change the world but I'm still waiting to hear it

We lost it all that day
They took our hero away
Oh I miss Kurt Cobain

How many rappers do we need?
Oh so many boy bands that I see
And pretty pop princesses
Up on the TV screen

Oh artists these days
They're all one in the same
They're nothing like Kurt Cobain

What the hell is going on?
Paris Hilton's got her own cd
With hit after hit
Saying flannel's not the style for me
Well what the hell happened, how could this be?
I mean it was all the rage back in 1993

Those were the days
But it's just not the same
Ever since we lost Kurt Cobain

How dumb are we?
He said I hate myself and want to die
And when he finally did
We all sat in awe and wondered why

But on that April day
He lost his fight with fame
And we lost Kurt Cobain
Oh I miss Kurt Cobain
Oh I miss Kurt Cobain
#6
Excellent.

And hating Kurt Cobain is okay, but at least form an opinion without bitching about.

Great job man.
Your dreams are all out of focus;
Knock you up when you're feeling down.
And all the world feels so unreal...


COLORFUL COLORS
Quote by ishmonkey
Hitler was really smart and could have been a good leader but he was kind of a douche to the Jews.
#7
Quote by Mlnwd
"It only takes one song to change the world but I'm still waiting to hear it."



This is the only line I'd keep; Powerful.

The rest of it... meh, no one wants to hear what they already know.
#10
Quote by Mlnwd
Death of a genre
Imploding box shaped like a heart
Where three guys from Seattle
Knocked Michael Jackson from the top of the charts
And the guitar strings still reek of teen spirit
It only takes one song to change the world but I'm still waiting to hear it

This seems a bit jumbled and stuck together. The second line especially. The referances are obvious and seem misplaced because of that. I love, love, love the last line.

We lost it all that day
They took our hero away
Oh I miss Kurt Cobain

For a chorus, it may as well exist. Cliched.

How many rappers do we need?
Oh so many boy bands that I see
And pretty pop princesses
Up on the TV screen

Cliched topic written in a very obvious way.

Oh artists these days
They're all one in the same
They're nothing like Kurt Cobain

Same as chorus. It's fine.

What the hell is going on?
Paris Hilton's got her own cd
With hit after hit
Saying flannel's not the style for me
Well what the hell happened, how could this be?
I mean it was all the rage back in 1993

Like the last line.

Those were the days
But it's just not the same
Ever since we lost Kurt Cobain

How dumb are we?
He said I hate myself and want to die
And when he finally did
We all sat in awe and wondered why

I like this idea a lot and think the last three lines of it are great, but I think the first could be phrased more effectively.

But on that April day
He lost his fight with fame
And we lost Kurt Cobain
Oh I miss Kurt Cobain
Oh I miss Kurt Cobain

Same as chorus


Overall, as song lyrics they're not particually effective but there's nothing blatently bad about them. Sorry for the negativity. I think this could be touched up a bit and made better though.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!
#11
Thanks for all the tips and kind words. This is a fun little G-Em-C-D acoustic song I threw together last night and finished up today. I know it's not my best work but I enjoyed writing it and paying tribute to one of my favorite musicians.
#12
^ With the whole tribute the musicians theme, I'd appreciate it if you'd take a look at my song/poem 'Thanks, Bob' in my sig. The edited version is at the bottom of the page and I'd love a bit of crit on it .
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!
#13
Quote by TiberiusMac
I hate Kurt Cobain.


What excellent criticism, this will really help the writer.
#14
Quote by GNR's Fan
What excellent criticism, this will really help the writer.

yeah that's what i thought
#15
I liked the piece as a whole, but found a lot of it very cliched. But this can be changed around and improved. The first stanza is the strongest by far.

Also, I don't really understand your message properly. Yeah, I understand you miss KC but you say that his death was the 'death of a genre'. This really isn't the case, as AiC, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, and many other bands still carried on making music. When Kurt died, grunge still lived. Yeah, it's dead now but it was still going strong after his death.

But anyways, nice piece.

#16
Quote by redh0tchilip3pp


I don't really understand your message properly. Yeah, I understand you miss KC but you say that his death was the 'death of a genre'. This really isn't the case, as AiC, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, and many other bands still carried on making music. When Kurt died, grunge still lived. Yeah, it's dead now but it was still going strong after his death.




while grunge didn't die, it's popularity def. did and that's kinda what i was aiming for with the "death of a genre" line.
#17
Oke I'll just star off by saying this, when the title is "Kurt Cobain" you can expect cliches so I won't bother pointing that out to you.

Death of a genre
Imploding box shaped like a heart
Where three guys from Seattle
Knocked Michael Jackson from the top of the charts
And the guitar strings still reek of teen spirit
It only takes one song to change the world but I'm still waiting to hear it

Oke first off you really need to concentrate on the flow here because it doesn't really work. "Imploding box shaped like a heart" this needs to be rewritten so that it reads better. Even if you would write " imploding hart shaped box", well to be honest I wouldn't use the word "imploding".


We lost it all that day
They took our hero away
Oh I miss Kurt Cobain

"Oh I miss Kurt Cobain" this really quite soppy, makes it sound you were lovers or something, especially if you put "oh" in there.

How many rappers do we need?
Oh so many boy bands that I see
And pretty pop princesses
Up on the TV screen

Oh artists these days
They're all one in the same
They're nothing like Kurt Cobain

"They're all one in the same" this doesn't make sense. "They're all one and the same"

What the hell is going on?
Paris Hilton's got her own cd
With hit after hit
Saying flannel's not the style for me
Well what the hell happened, how could this be?
I mean it was all the rage back in 1993

Those were the days
But it's just not the same
Ever since we lost Kurt Cobain

How dumb are we?
He said I hate myself and want to die
And when he finally did
We all sat in awe and wondered why

But on that April day
He lost his fight with fame
And we lost Kurt Cobain
Oh I miss Kurt Cobain
Oh I miss Kurt Cobain

Overall I don't really know what you want to do with this. If it is intended as a tribute song, I think you can do way better than this. Write something that the reader or listener really needs to read and try to understand for them to see it's about kurt cobain. Write something far more complex, and its defiantly possible when writing about the enigma that is Kurt cobain.

Care to crit mine:Deserts Child
#20
kurt cobain would kill him self if he read this... JK man! this wasn't too bad. personally i love nirvana and i agree with you on everything you wrote.