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#2
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#3
I faked an orgasm while jacking it so I wouldn't feel so bad.
[img]http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/3760/356h356h365pc1.png[/img]
Die Ruhe vor dem Sturm.
#4
i had to lend a girl assistance to reach my own orgasm before now damnit, needless to say i didnt return the favour. :@
The Elephant asked the Camel , oh why is your breast on your back Camel? To which the Camel replied, Why that is a strange question from someone with their dick on their face!
#5
Yeah, to myself. I don't want my Hand to be disappointed.

EDIT: Dammit, beaten. HuckIt, how come you live in Munich and are a Dortmund fan? You're suicidal or something?
#6
Heh.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools
#7
Quote by TheQuailman
Yeah, to myself. I don't want my Hand to be disappointed.

EDIT: Dammit, beaten. HuckIt, how come you live in Munich and are a Dortmund fan? You're suicidal or something?


my family is from there so I've been a Dortmund fan ever since I was little...it was quite tough this year since Dortmund was in the Cup Finale against Munich...my friends don't really give me crap about it though
[img]http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/3760/356h356h365pc1.png[/img]
Die Ruhe vor dem Sturm.
#8
Yes, my ex-girlfriend once gave me a hand job so bad I had to fake it. She was ripping my pubic hair out, it was just awful. The conversation was pretty much.

"Whoop, I'm done."
"No you're not, I don't see any cum."
"Yes, I did."
"No, there's no semen, I think I'd know if you finished. You're just being nice."
"No, seriously.. I jacked off like five times today so I would be able to perform suitably, and so basically I'm dried up in there. Its not an unlimited supply, you know."
"Really?"
"Yes. Read a science book.. So how about some pizza?"

Then I went into the bathroom and finished myself off because it was killing me.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#9
^

Alright, except for handjobs I've never faked an orgasm either =/
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#10
My last girlfriend was the SO bad at giving blowjobs I once had to fake it.

PICTURE YOURSELF IN A BOAT ON A RIVER
WITH TANGERINE TREES AND MARMALADE SKIES...
#11
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Yes, my ex-girlfriend once gave me a hand job so bad I had to fake it. She was ripping my pubic hair out, it was just awful. The conversation was pretty much.

"Whoop, I'm done."
"No you're not, I don't see any cum."
"Yes, I did."
"No, there's no semen, I think I'd know if you finished. You're just being nice."
"No, seriously.. I jacked off like five times today so I would be able to perform suitably, and so basically I'm dried up in there. Its not an unlimited supply, you know."
"Really?"
"Yes. Read a science book.. So how about some pizza?"

Then I went into the bathroom and finished myself off because it was killing me.
LOL, when I read the title I was trying to think how such a conversation would go, question answered

Maybe trim those pubes though eh?
#15
Nope.

Faking is for pornstars and whores, and I don't want to get in with that type of crowd.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#16
how is it possible for guys to actually fake an orgasm? your girlfriend/prostitute/brother would have to be completely retarded.
#17
If you're getting crap head concentrate really hard and tense your dick up as hard as you can, it speeds the process up a bit.
#18
Quote by freedoms_stain
LOL, when I read the title I was trying to think how such a conversation would go, question answered

Maybe trim those pubes though eh?

That is the only place I can get hair on my body aside from my scalp. I refuse to give it up for any woman. Besides, it wouldn't have mattered.. I think she learned to give handjobs at some kind of taffy-pulling store. Or she was the reincarnation of someone in the Inquisition.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#19
Quote by Jack Off Jill
That is the only place I can get hair on my body aside from my scalp. I refuse to give it up for any woman. Besides, it wouldn't have mattered.. I think she learned to give handjobs at some kind of taffy-pulling store. Or she was the reincarnation of someone in the Inquisition.

has jill ever had to fake an orgasm dude?
The Elephant asked the Camel , oh why is your breast on your back Camel? To which the Camel replied, Why that is a strange question from someone with their dick on their face!
#20
Quote by rabidguitarist
Nope.

Faking is for pornstars and whores, and I don't want to get in with that type of crowd.



+1
''Technological advancements are like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.'' - Albert Einstein
#21
Quote by redh0tchilip3pp
Ouch.

I mean how hard can it be to give head?


Its actually pretty difficult.
#22
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Yes, my ex-girlfriend once gave me a hand job so bad I had to fake it. She was ripping my pubic hair out, it was just awful. The conversation was pretty much.

"Whoop, I'm done."
"No you're not, I don't see any cum."
"Yes, I did."
"No, there's no semen, I think I'd know if you finished. You're just being nice."
"No, seriously.. I jacked off like five times today so I would be able to perform suitably, and so basically I'm dried up in there. Its not an unlimited supply, you know."
"Really?"
"Yes. Read a science book.. So how about some pizza?"

Then I went into the bathroom and finished myself off because it was killing me.



lmao wow dude
#23
Quote by Jack Off Jill
That is the only place I can get hair on my body aside from my scalp. I refuse to give it up for any woman. Besides, it wouldn't have mattered.. I think she learned to give handjobs at some kind of taffy-pulling store. Or she was the reincarnation of someone in the Inquisition.
In that case I think it's time for some outside of the box thinking

#24
Quote by angry armadillo
has jill ever had to fake an orgasm dude?

is a band

DON'T PANIC! DON'T PANIC!
THEY DON'T LIKE IT UP 'EM!
#25
Quote by Don't Panic Ok?
is a band

I didn't know that when I first used the name on another forum.

Anyway, no.. I can't glue my pubes to my face, it would look so unnatural. And I don't have much down there, but what I do have is long enough to braid... were it not properly conditioned everytime I take a shower. The only reason I'd ever shave it is when I'm drawing big elephant ears and tusks next to the other stuff down there. Though, I have glued bits of my hair on my head, which I cut off to give myself a Fu Manchu. My old avatar shows that.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#27
This thread is hilarious.

And no, I haven't.

And giving head isn't hard if you have a technique.
Quote by Vermintide
I love getting hit in the balls.

Sometimes, I masturbate while imagining my girlfriend is ramming her knee up into my precious orbs. It turns me on so much.

Actually, that's not true. I don't have a girlfriend
#28
Quote by Don't Panic Ok?
is a band
now a joke too KAPOW!
The Elephant asked the Camel , oh why is your breast on your back Camel? To which the Camel replied, Why that is a strange question from someone with their dick on their face!
#29
Quote by redh0tchilip3pp
But you're a male......

Unless......?


Auto fellatio?
It's gonna be a blue day
#31
Quote by redh0tchilip3pp
But you're a male......

Unless......?

Your mind goes to, "gay stuff" really quickly, doesn't it?

Did you ever consider that maybe he's just really flexible?
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#32
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Your mind goes to, "gay stuff" really quickly, doesn't it?

Did you ever consider that maybe he's just really flexible?

You where beaten to it;

Quote by perry589
Auto fellatio?
#33
Quote by redh0tchilip3pp
But you're a male......

Unless......?


nah, im just mad for the c0ck.
#34
I fake it every time i have sex. Then again i take several hours to finish anyway i really just get bored and stop when shes done.
Quote by CowsWithGuns
I don't want to give myself over to a world of Regina Spektor, Van Gogh posters, and loud conversations about how wasted they got.
#35
Quote by angry armadillo
now a joke too KAPOW!

Music = Serious Business, ok guys?

DON'T PANIC! DON'T PANIC!
THEY DON'T LIKE IT UP 'EM!
#36
Quote by redh0tchilip3pp
You where beaten to it;

No, I'm talking about a really technically skilled reach around.

*nice save*
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#37
Quote by Don't Panic Ok?
Music = Serious Business, ok guys?

i turned your music into a joke what you gonna do
The Elephant asked the Camel , oh why is your breast on your back Camel? To which the Camel replied, Why that is a strange question from someone with their dick on their face!
#39
Quote by angry armadillo
i turned your music into a joke what you gonna do







>.>

<.<


DON'T PANIC! DON'T PANIC!
THEY DON'T LIKE IT UP 'EM!
#40
Quote by angry armadillo
i turned your music into a joke what you gonna do


I turned your mum gay.

What are you gonna do?
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
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