#1
i've seen a lot of jokes here about people making fun of other musicians(bassists and drummers namely)
im bored, does anyone know any good ones?
#3
What do you call two guitarists soloing at the same time?.
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counterpoint
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#4
Why didn't the drummer go to the party?


Cause he didn't have a girlfriend cause all drummers are fat and ugly after sitting on their fat asses all day banging stuff really loud and can't get girlfriends and when they do they run far, far away after a few minutes talking to them or they run off and date the singer or guitarist instead.
#5
Quote by helper1234
Why didn't the drummer go to the party?


Cause he didn't have a girlfriend cause all drummers are fat and ugly after sitting on their fat asses all day banging stuff really loud and can't get girlfriends and when they do they run far, far away after a few minutes talking to them or they run off and date the singer or guitarist instead.


*failface*
Airship is liek teh best giitar playr evr!!111!1!

Quote by solidgay
Don't use distortion pedals. Just bury your guitar for three weeks, and then dig it up, that should do the job.


^Best Reply Ever!

Quote by imdeth
metaldud damn it I said ignore the penis!
#6
How do you make a death metal guitarist turn down?


put sheet music in front of him.
More UltraMatic than you.
#7
How many guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to do it, and one to say he could've done it better.


How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two again. One to do it, and one to say Cliff Burton could've done it better.


Life is hard for musicians, but for drummers, it's nearly impossible.


What's the difference between a pizza and a bassist?

A pizza can feed a family of four.
Quote by Les_Frederiksen
PlayMadness, you give me hope for mankind.

Quote by Darksucker
PlayMadness - Jesus 2.0

Quote by genghisgandhi
Society's doing great. There's a rise of people like PlayMadness. I feel pretty good about the way things are going.
#9
How can you tell when the drum riser's level?

The dribble comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.

How many guitarists does it take to wallpaper a room?

Depends how thinly you slice them.

How does a guitarist screw in a lightbulb?

He holds the bulb up and waits for the whole world to revolve around him.
Quote by Andron17
Go away, I have an erection.


Bassist for Half My Kingdom.
#11
Why does everyone bash drummers? Us drummers are awesome and we keep the whole piece together. Most stuff on drums if harder then guitar stuff
#12
Quote by TJ1991
How can you tell when the drum riser's level?

The dribble comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.

How many guitarists does it take to wallpaper a room?

Depends how thinly you slice them.

How does a guitarist screw in a lightbulb?

He holds the bulb up and waits for the whole world to revolve around him.



That dude FTW!
Quote by Teh Traineez0rz
yeah was weird cause she liked us both but she loved him and for some reason she let me know beforehand.

i just wanted her poon and she wanted me to have her poon.

so i had myself some poon.
#13
I have some good ones.


q. Why does no-one like bassists?
a. Because they aren't musicians.


q. why does noone want to sit next to the clarinetists in a symphony orchestra?
a. because they're shit.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
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#14
Quote by rooney1991
Why does everyone bash drummers? Us drummers are awesome and we keep the whole piece together. Most stuff on drums if harder then guitar stuff

Go home.


Now.
Quote by Les_Frederiksen
PlayMadness, you give me hope for mankind.

Quote by Darksucker
PlayMadness - Jesus 2.0

Quote by genghisgandhi
Society's doing great. There's a rise of people like PlayMadness. I feel pretty good about the way things are going.
#15
Quote by rooney1991
Why does everyone bash drummers? Us drummers are awesome and we keep the whole piece together. Most stuff on drums if harder then guitar stuff

on no he di'int. rooney you had best prepare the flame shield
#17
Quote by PlayMadness
How many guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to do it, and one to say he could've done it better.


How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two again. One to do it, and one to say Cliff Burton could've done it better.
QUOTE]

SIGED

sig it that way pls

Quote by rabidguitarist
I have some good ones.


q. Why does no-one like bassists?
a. Because they aren't musicians.


q. why does noone want to sit next to the clarinetists in a symphony orchestra?
a. because they're shit.


why are bassists no musicans??
Quote by frankv
Tokio Hotel is probably the worst thing Germany has produced since WW2.


#18
Quote by PlayMadness
How many guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to do it, and one to say he could've done it better.
How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two again. One to do it, and one to say Cliff Burton could've done it better.

SIGED
#19
toast, it was a joke man calm down. and rooney, you cant compare a percussion instrument to a stringed one. they are completely different.
#21
What do you call someone who hangs around with a band all the time but can't play an instrument?

A drummer.

How do you tune two flautists?

Shoot one of them.
#23
Quote by rabidguitarist

q. why does noone want to sit next to the clarinetists in a symphony orchestra?
a. because they're shit.


hahaha, that reminds me of the John Petrucci psycho exercises on youtube.
More UltraMatic than you.
#25
At the head boy elections at school a kid called gibson ran, were it had vote gibson i crossed it out and wrote fender. About 10 people got it lol
Quote by .HUZZAH.
Just hit all the strings at once, raping your e string and making retardly out of place pinch harmonics

oh wait, this isn't a slipknot concert..

FREEBIRD!


And the amish said let their be CHEESE...
#26
Quote by rooney1991
Why does everyone bash drummers? Us drummers are awesome and we keep the whole piece together. Most stuff on drums if harder then guitar stuff
How can you tell when a drummer is at the door?

The knocking gets faster and faster and faster....

Sorry I had to, exacerbating situations is my forte.
#28
How do you get a guitarist to slow down?
Put manuscript paper in front of him!

How do you get him to stop completely?
Put notes on the manuscript paper!
#29
TS is a drummer. How do we know this?


Because he didn't use the ****ing search bar.
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#30
How do you get a singer to change a lightbulb?


he holds on to it and the world revolves around him
Bennetts_strat
Registered confuser.

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#31
Quote by managarm
How do you get a singer to change a lightbulb?


he hold on to it and the world revolves around him


How can you tell managarm is a drummer?


Because he reposts jokes.
More UltraMatic than you.
#32
What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common.
Both suck when you plug them in

How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None--they just steal somebody else's light

What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
1. None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand.
2. Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice.
3. One, but the guitarist has to show him first.
4. Six: one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light


Minimum safe distances between street musicians and the public:
* Violinist: 25 feet
* Bad Violinist: 50 feet
* Tone Deaf Guitar Player who knows 3 chords: 75 feet
* 15 year-old Electric Guitar Player with Nirvana fixation: 100 feet
* Accordionist: 60 miles


How do you keep a really bad musician in suspense?.......
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