#1
Okay this is a work in progress and what I mean by that is it's really rough, but I like the subject matter. So I wanna keep working on it. If you have any sugestion please share them.

COMIN' CLEAN

All those stupid things I did
When I was kid
All he people that I hurt
I wish I could take it all back
And I know apologies ain't worth ****
But it's the best I can do

I've left that life behind me
I'm comin' clean
It's time to turn my life around
It's time to break free

I'm not the same person I was 15 years ago
I've learned from the things I've done
And all my friends who died
And there mothers who cried
I wish I could end there suffering... End for now(Crit 4 Crit)
With an irresistible blend of reggae induced hip-hop and catchy pop-punk hooks, Half Chance Heroes captivates audiences with their unique sound and energetic stage show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8bSU0u8uvM
#2
It sounds good, i just dont like where it says:

"And there mothers who cried"

I think that kinda, idk i dont kno the rest sounds good though!
-BiOhAZarD722-
Originally Posted by Gizzard101
I personally prefer Dr.Dre but Lil Jon is gangsta home boy fresh aswell.
...lol wtf?
Quote by lzrdsixsix6
sounds like you have a severe case of the dumbass.....it's quite common in the pit really just sleep it off
#3
Well I must say.
These lyrics will work really well for a pop-punk song

I don't like the last line though. I believe it trips up the message a little
but maybe it's intended that way


Love the Low end
#4
Think about re-wording the opener, it sounds a little forced.

Best way to write a song/poetry is to read it out loud. This way, you can make sure the flow and rhythm is just how you want it. I think that's probably the key issue here. Make sure you got the melody worked out as you write; singing is musical, not just words
#6
ill make it simple. it is kool wit me. if it ever made into a song i would prolly damn near listen to it like every other day