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#1
I like to listen to Dream Theaters "Stream of Consciousness" during sex. Its so amazing! But unfortunately my girlfriend hates it.

When the song starts I move in and out very slowly and right when the distorted intro and keyboard riff come in I *SLAM* my junk into my gfs pussy like the Space Shuttle Atlantis being rammed down a dorm hall.

As the song progresses I move our bodies to the rhythm of the music, one thrust for each of Mike's cymbal clashes.

The main problem my girlfriend has is that John Petrucci's guitar solo starts at like 3:35 or so and ends about 50 seconds later. During this period I enter a state of sexual clairvoyance, I witness visions of the future, I gain knowledge about scales I'd never heard of, my dick becomes possessed by the spirits of great guitar legends and I unload a massive crotch bomb that could have repopulated Hiroshima in the span of 4 years.

My gf just complains that I don't last long enough, what can I do about this?
#3
Porno Music?


BOOM ching wah ching BOOM ching wah ching BOOM ching wah ching
"The future's uncertain, and The End is always near."
-Jim Morrison
#4
Listen to I cum blood next time?
SCALD
Quote by Phill-Rock
That, or being absolutely broke - though you always find money for cigarettes, then end up even more broke.

so true ^.
_______________
Quote by k1ng_pooh
what in the name of satanus is a bass?

Quote by smb
I think it's a type of fish.


PM me for GP5
#5
your girlfriend sounds like she's ugly
Quote by cagnius
I'd rather be spooning than doing my essay...
#7
lol wut?

you sir are a god.
Gear:

Guitars:
ESP ltd FX-400
Epiphone les paul jr.

Amps:
Line 6 spider II combo 30 watt
Krank Rev. Jr. full stack tube.
#8
Akercocke - Axiom

/thread

A song about sex, during sex.
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

Quote by eggsandham2
cuz ppl hate how power metal they are cuz they think its "gay" or w.e, which is immature and dirogitory
#11
Sir Psycho Sexy....

Put it on repeat, you'll make love for fucking ever.

DON'T PANIC! DON'T PANIC!
THEY DON'T LIKE IT UP 'EM!
#12
Listen to a really long song
Like Free Bird
or Master of Puppets (youd gotta be fast fopr that one though ;p)
Echoes by Pink Floyd, that would last at least 15 min
Atom Heart Mother, all 23 minutes of it XD
#13
Quote by Roads5
I like to listen to Dream Theaters "Stream of Consciousness" during sex. Its so amazing! But unfortunately my girlfriend hates it.

When the song starts I move in and out very slowly and right when the distorted intro and keyboard riff come in I *SLAM* my junk into my gfs pussy like the Space Shuttle Atlantis being rammed down a dorm hall.

As the song progresses I move our bodies to the rhythm of the music, one thrust for each of Mike's cymbal clashes.

The main problem my girlfriend has is that John Petrucci's guitar solo starts at like 3:35 or so and ends about 50 seconds later. During this period I enter a state of sexual clairvoyance, I witness visions of the future, I gain knowledge about scales I'd never heard of, my dick becomes possessed by the spirits of great guitar legends and I unload a massive crotch bomb that could have repopulated Hiroshima in the span of 4 years.

My gf just complains that I don't last long enough, what can I do about this?


my god... *+10 redaction points*

viagra is the only way... youll last through the entire Stream Of conciousness album

EDIT: i funckin second the person who said "Sir Psycho Sexy"!! that song is amazing!! either that or purple stain
#14
Quote by Metallicaxp
Listen to a really long song
Like Free Bird
or Master of Puppets (youd gotta be fast fopr that one though ;p)
Echoes by Pink Floyd, that would last at least 15 min
Atom Heart Mother, all 23 minutes of it XD



Dude... =/ Master of Puppets during sex? Thats like playing "My Heart Will Go On" while in a firefight.
"The future's uncertain, and The End is always near."
-Jim Morrison
#16
you shouldnt think about how a hairy guy handles a slender object during sex.. its bound to erupt a problem.
Quote by Gunpowder
The Pit is to intelligence what a black hole is to light; it's devoid of reason and logic, and nothing can escape it's shadowy depths. Once you enter, you cannot leave.
#18
Quote by SlinkyBlue
Dude... =/ Master of Puppets during sex? Thats like playing "My Heart Will Go On" while in a firefight.




Reminds me of that scene in Shawn of the Dead.
Rag Mop Do Do Duh DoDo Dedo Do!!!!!

R_A_G_G_M_O_P_P

RAGMOP
#19
You obviously have a small peen.
Quote by dudetheman
So what? I wasted like 5 minutes watching DaddyTwoFoot's avatar.


Metalheads are the worst thing that ever happened to metal.
#21
Quote by Waff
I lol'd hard. Thanks!

Closer - Nine Inch Nails?

What kind of music does your girlfriend listen to?


Dude screw closer, Sin is where its at!!!!
Rag Mop Do Do Duh DoDo Dedo Do!!!!!

R_A_G_G_M_O_P_P

RAGMOP
#23
I think I win the thread when I say:

Mommy What's A Funkadelic - Funkadelic.

Youtube / download that **** asap, you'll know what I mean!
#24
Wow, you only last 4 minutes. No wonder shes pissed.
Quote by CowsWithGuns
I don't want to give myself over to a world of Regina Spektor, Van Gogh posters, and loud conversations about how wasted they got.
#26
I had sex through the entire "kill em all" album. It was weird.........
Quote by St.Loony
Girls are complicated - Just turn gay and don't bother.


Quote by MightyAl
OK, so now, for Christmas, I'd like the ability to have an erection again.



Quote by smartguyreviews
one time i got up in the middle of the night to take a shit... and the toilet seat was warm....
#27
Deftones- White Pony.

the be all-end all album to listen durring sex, or while your high (at least for me anyway.)
Quote by Crimzin3
The Myth: Mesa amps were given to us by God, and sound as such.
The Truth: True. God is the CEO and Jesus does QC at Mesa...yup.


#28
check out china part breakdown by curl up and die. it's 14 seconds long, so when you get through it twice, you'll seem like an ace.
On a scale of one to awesome...
I'm the sh!t.


Quote by mr.cheese..
GYMCLASSHERO!!!!! THANK YOU FOR LIBERATING MY TESTACLES AND PENIS!!! (at least on the weekends)!!!
#30
I can't listen to music while having sex. It will either distract me or prevent me from normal sexing.
Pissed.
#31
Quote by Unofficial
I can't listen to music while having sex. It will either distract me or prevent me from normal sexing.


Thats weird. It usually sets a pace for me. Thats why i try not to have sex to metallica anymore. The wah pedal in the solos complicates things. You dont need to know.
Quote by St.Loony
Girls are complicated - Just turn gay and don't bother.


Quote by MightyAl
OK, so now, for Christmas, I'd like the ability to have an erection again.



Quote by smartguyreviews
one time i got up in the middle of the night to take a shit... and the toilet seat was warm....
#32
You dont need music for better sex. You need 4 play. Lots of it if that song is 4 minutes or whatever. Get some whip cream and chocolate sauce. Those are tastey when lick off several different female body parts. I know these thing cuz one time we didnt have a condom so we had some awesome 6 hour 4 play. (10pm till 4 am)
Quote by St.Loony
Girls are complicated - Just turn gay and don't bother.


Quote by MightyAl
OK, so now, for Christmas, I'd like the ability to have an erection again.



Quote by smartguyreviews
one time i got up in the middle of the night to take a shit... and the toilet seat was warm....
#33
Quote by Pinto111
stop fanasizing about john petrucci during sex


**** dude, do you have any idea how difficult that is?!
Quote by IMABBALLPLAYER
Here's what you do.
1. Get a trout.
2. Bring trout everywhere you go.
3. Problem solved.

Seriously, I wouldn't **** with a guy who is randomly carrying a trout.



OM NOM NOM
#34
Quote by BM_Smooth
Thats what Steve Vai is for

Oh the irony of wanking during sex.
..is a girl
Quote by RPGoof
WAT
How about just send a ship at the speed up light directly to the sun, and the gravity will pull it towards the sun, thus speeding it over the speed of light.

#36
"I Know You're F*cking Someone Else" off Type O Negative's Origin Of The Feces album. So that when she asks 'what's that music', because your wily doesn't touch her sides, you can flip her over and do her up the origin of HER faeces.
#37
As much as that song ****ing rules, it's maybe not the best choice for sex. Maybe something like Eruption - Van Halen, if you're looking for a quick, orgasmic experience, or Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence - Dream Theater for a long sensual one.

And I too find it hard NOT to fantasize about John Petrucci. He's too awesome.
#38
Another "I just had sex" thread...

Make love to Lionel Ritchie. That's the way a man makes love.

Edit: Not actual Lionel Ritchie, but his music.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#39
Quote by Metallicaxp
Listen to a really long song
Like Free Bird
or Master of Puppets (youd gotta be fast fopr that one though ;p)
Echoes by Pink Floyd, that would last at least 15 min
Atom Heart Mother, all 23 minutes of it XD


Yes - Tales From Topographic Oceans. 124 Minutes of happiness.
Some Floyd would work perfectly.
Even if it's bad, some Beatles are just fine.
Some Doors, maybe?
And, my personal fav, Ministry Of Lost Souls - Dream Theater, all 'till the heavy parts.
And, of course, for a long night, do a Zep I II III IV medley.
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