Warning: Long read ahead.

Hey UG, basically, my good man rob (robertreilly666 to you) made the mistake of sending me his CV.

So, i got bored and changed it.

Curriculum Vitae

Robert Reilly

To gain a position In Bed with your wife and possibly your mother and daughter for the next academic year. At the same time. Whilst you film it.

I was educated at the Royal Belfast Academic Mental Institution from 2001 to 2006. At GCSE level I hold 7 qualifications as follow:

English literature- B Biology- B
English language- A History- C
Mathematics- C Art and Design- B
Geography- B The Reacharound A*
In September 2007 I gained admission to Methodist College Belfast’s Sixth form in which I study English Literature, Geography, Psychology, Classical Civilizations and Rape.

I also hold a 2007 CLAIT (Clitoris Licking and Internal Tickling) certification in computing which I gained in Methodist College.

In the summer of 2006 I worked at Pickie Family Fun park in Bangor as a supervisor. I was 16 at the time. My duties primarily consisted of **** handling and ensuring the safe operation of two attractions, mainly myself and the hot girl who operated the Mr Whippy. This job required good communication skills both for talking to the public and my co-workers (who where on summer placements from Belarus, Poland and Germany) In this position I worked outdoors for 10 hours a day during the hottest summer on British record and this gives me pride in my strong work ethic.
In the summer of 2007 I worked at Subway (Dublin Road), this job consisted mostly of food preparation, cleaning, stock control and money handling. Most of my co-workers where Polish and this was a good opportunity to learn from another culture. I enjoyed this job greatly. Apart from those immigrants.

I have a great love of music, I play classical and acoustic finger-style guitar. I am a keen cook and I enjoy reading and writing, especially the works of John Steinbeck, George Orwell and Frank Ormsby and Italian writers and poets such as Petratch and Dante Alighieri, I have an interest in Italian Language and culture.

I can get letters of recommendation from professionals on request. As a referee I shall name:

Miss S. Spence

I am skilled with computers, having extensive experience with Microsoft Windows Operating Systems including Vista, and the Microsoft office Package (word, power point, excel etc.)

I feel I am an asset as I learn new skills quickly, begin applying them without being prompted and use initiative. I always do things to the very best of my ability.

I speak passable Italian and a little French and while this is totally unrelated to the position I am applying for I can also paint faces, having done this as a summer job in the summer of 2005.

I also have the ability to fly, which means that I can be punctual for work everyday. I can also SHOOP DA WOOP, which means that if any unruly customers happen to come to my place of work, I can CRANK DAT SHOOP DA WOOP and have them removed.
Last edited by Slinov at May 9, 2008,
Quote by freedoms_stain
Where do I sign up for lessons on the reacharound?

the school of hard knockers?

...i hate myself
I have no opinion on this matter.
I need a man of this caliber for my firm.
Back to the classic avatar.

Quote by KISSguitarist
You are the best writer ever Graybass. Sig me for that. But i love you! You should make a book!

Quote by Phil_Bass_Boy
Jesus christ, your avatar is the best I have seen in my life.

Quote by mh400nt
Graybass_20x6 has a better avatar than you