Dudes, comment this...im 13 and its one of my first songs and i wanna know like specificaly what i should improve on...if u steal my lyrics i waill hunt u down...and shank you...with a huge...rusty...snail...i actualy wrote a lot of this in science (period 3) and got it taken away...its ironic...and sad

It Can't be What's Best
Verse 1
Sittin in period 3
Ain’t havin too much fun
Waitin for PE
Where I aint the only one

Who knows how screwed up
This whole system is
Getting yelled at all day
Man we’re just kids

Verse 2
All we want
is a little bit of freedom
What we all want
Is a little music with the readin
By “we” I mean the kids
Who’ve still got brains
Not those flesh n’ blood robots
Who are all the same

Verse 3
I’ll do whatever you want
As long as it makes since
Just hear out my opinion
Just listen or silence
all in all, really good for a thirteen year old
much better than the stuff i used to write when i was your age =P

well, the first verse is kinda cheesy, i dont like it that much
but verse 2 and 3 are really really awesome
especially verse 3

it might be just me, but i like it when lyrics are more vague, if you know what i mean
so people can relate to it more and it has more of a deeper meaning
but yeah, awesome man (Y)
Quotes from other UGers in your signatures that talk about how good you are suck donkey schlong.
not bad ,especially verse2
but from my point of view the topic is too childish but that's ok if you are 13
nice rhymes and just go on that way
not bad for a 13 yr old kid.
Congrats on a first song. Hope you enjoy writing.

So. . . now I'm wondering if you have plans to actually make a song with the lyrics?
I'm feeling super large amounts of pop punk vibe to this. but ehh thats just me.

Good Luck
thanx guys...ill probably post some more ive written...i no wat ya mean leafy, most of my other songs are more like that, but i really wasnt feelin that at subzero temperatures in our crazy science teachers class...more rebelious feeling than usual...and ryan, i wrote some music to it, thats actually, what i think, is the main part of the song, and if you actaully heard it, u would notice its not that poppy, but more classic rock, old punk sounding...but thanx for the help guys, after...recent events...i just feel kinda just like getting it out there