#1
Okay, here's a new song from me . I was kinda bored with writing symphonic metal songs, so this is what came out from that boredom; a 5-part solacing piece.

First up, this song is a kinda relaxing song, with a slight tinge of progressive and jazz in it, methinks, but NOT metal or rock. Keep in mind that if long acoustic song doesn't appeal to you, you might not be able to enjoy this, as this is 50% played on acoustic, and the other with piano and jazz guitar, played mostly on a slow to moderate tempo. You won't find shred-tastic wankery fest here, if that's what you're looking for, or certainly not something br00tal. With that said, this song is a bit over 10 minutes, and only consists of piano and guitar as it is intended to be.

Well, enough with the massive intro, and on with the song!

Oh, and as always, constructive crits are always welcome and will be returned.

EDIT: Changed the last three bars of the ending to something more.... enjoyable
Attachments:
The Dire Azure.zip
Last edited by MarchOfEternity at May 18, 2008,
#2
that was ****ing incredible! 10/10
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#3
I'm going to edit this post later, seeing as I have to go out now.

I will definitely crit it later.

Edit : The first part of the song is relaxing; I liked it, the 'jazzy' chords gave a nice feel to it. The little lead part/ solo starting from Bar 41 was nice . The distorted solo starting from Bar 53 suited the song very nicely. The piano in Bar 66 and 67 didn't fit so nicely, but this is only my opinion.

At first I didn't like Bars 94-101, but when that lead kicked it, it sounded much better.

The whole drizzling heart section was amazing, very good job !

Droplets of rain and tears was very beautiful. Again, amazing job!

The sky after rain is a nice melodic section, the reverb on the jazz guitar added so much to the sound. The ending was nice IMHO.

Overall - 8.5/10.

Last edited by Lord-O-Donuts at May 11, 2008,
#4
First, the mandatory "thx for the crit guys" .

Carl6661: Yeah, ending was kinda weak. The distortion guitars were supposed to have volume swells, it sounded better that way. Truth be told, I only put that part there so that the song have an ending, so sorry if you guys feel like it is uninspired, because honestly, it is.

The tempo changes every 2 bar thing was kinda the result of my ego . I put it there at first only for the sake of making it 'progressive' and 'technical' and whatnot. Pompous, I know, but it fit the song quite well .

Lord-O-Donuts: agreed on the intro of Windstorm. It was kinda meh, I was having a hard time writing it, as it is played in a different scale IIRC. I was experimenting on it, and sure enough I am inexperienced in scale changes, and the fact that it is played on a different tempo and rhythm did not made it any easier. So, I had a hard time making it flow well, though I was trying my best on that. But trust me, it was worse before, this is only after I polished it numerous time .

For the last part, I had a really hard time deciding whether to put the jazz guitar in or not, as I'm not sure I liked the reverb it created. But then, I thought "well, screw this" and just left it there .
Last edited by MarchOfEternity at May 11, 2008,
#5
9/10.
i dont have much to crit
i love the jazz thing in the song
dizzing heart part was amazing
the ending.. the only part that was a bit weak in comparison with the rest.. but still good.
as i said.. for me there's not much to complain. (;
Last edited by talentfree at May 11, 2008,
#6
It sounds really nice... But (and there's always a but)
Throughout part I you have very dissonant notes. And some parts of it didn't flow that well.. I'm not really sure what parts though.. You'd just have to listen for them.

Part II.. Not my thing really.. Really dissonant and "un-flowing." However, it gets nice at 116. lol

Part III is great. The guitar is a little overpowering for the piano soloing though. The overdriven guitar solo is good in itself.. But I feel like it could be made to fit the song better. Maybe not start it so fast and end it so fast... Put it in, but build up slowly, climax, easy back off or just kill it. The transition into part IV sounds like you just picked a ton of random notes and turned them into chords... And then the overdriven part just.. Bleh. For this song, I don't think that type of thing belongs.

Part IV is just beautiful. Perfect.

V... The transition could be better.. But it's really nice.

The ending.. I'm not sure about. It could be better. But it could be worse.. I do know that I don't like how the last 3 measures happened.

Sorry I couldn't give a more detailed critique... But that's my general analysis upon listening.
Good song, just needs to be smoothed some. 7/10 =)
#7
At 45 you do this awesome slide part witch is genious so is your overdriven guitar. There should be more bends lol. Thats what really made a unique sound. at measure 55 i love the vibrato but i think it would sound so much better if u did the same thing as what u did at measure 53. your high d# witch is a g on measure 55 your should bend that note as u bended
at measure 53. Drizziling heart part theres nothing wrong with that. But the next part droplets of rain and tear. The same chord progression during that part is used in many popular songs. So my idea would be inverting it. The sky after the rain is completely awesome ! and WOW measure 247 with the nylon guitar was sweet. Great job 9/10 musically its great the chunks and parts i told u about u must of had alot of sugar when writing those lol hehe.
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#8
I like the chord progrsssion in the intro. But the jazz guitar is WAY too loud. Turn it down to 11. And make the chords strummed.

Bar 49 sounds wierd. And bars 66-69... I'm sorry man, but what the hell was that? It sounded like a toddler pounding keys on a piano.

The windstorm sounded really good at first. But the nylon sting acoustic just came in randomly and spoiled the good thing you had going. That whole section was pretty random actually. I didn't really like it to be honest.

But drizzling heart..... God that's good. In my opinion, base your song off of this, and scrap everything before it.

Uh... 147... it starts getting really random and dissonant again.

What was with the random lick at 159?

Nice.... droplets is really good too. I really liked the nylon string solo. That's very beautiful...

Is it just me.... or is every other bar starting at 201 a different tempo? Yeah... don't do that.

219 starts out great. That piano progression is amazing.

So yeah.... here's the dealio. Drizzling heart and Droplets were both great... and to be perfectly honest.... in my opinion... the rest of it kind of sucked. I mean, it was way too random. And it seemed like most of the piano was just random notes. I guess some people can apprecciate it, but to me it just sounds awful. So... 9/10 for drizzling heart and droplets..... 3/10 for the rest. Sorry, but that's just how I see it.
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#9
A *slightly* reworked version is up for anyone who cares; the part reworked being the third last bar. I added swell there, and I think it actually sounded good now .

And for everyone, every part of this song is made to symbolize something from the lyrics, and the constant dissonance at part I is made to represent the crackle in the sky and the roaring sky when a storm is coming, i.e. it is unstable, and so it was made dissonant.

Now I know it wouldn't make sense without lyrics, hell, even WITH lyrics it doesn't make sense But please bear with me on this one, as writing the lyrics is hard as hell, and this song doesn't follow the conventional structure, hell, it doesn't have a structure (it doesn't even have verse nor chorus)! And on some parts the lyrics will be sung for only one bar, while in the other it could be like eight bar or so, and some even spoken words. So, yeah

For any problem with volume, I am really sorry for that, my speaker have been getting pretty shitty lately, so I don't know if it is too loud or something.

Garb : dunno what to put at the part before IV, so yeah, did something kinda random for the transition . Dunno if I can make it better or anything, though, seeing as I currently have no other idea of how to make it flow better.

PinkIsCool : cool man if you found it random and dislikes it, I myself found it to flow rather well. In fact, this may be the best flowing song by me which consisted of several movements (yes, that's how much I sucked ). But bear in mind that this was actually two separate songs, part I and IV, the main theme of part I being written about two to three years ago. I then continued it with III, and then II, so the order was actually I-III-IV-II, and V pretty much didn't exist. So, yeah, the transition might be a little fcked up, and I couldn't be arsed to smooth it some when I wrote it.

For the randomness, it may be because I wrote it when I was kinda hazy . It was also written at numerous different occasions, and the riffs were initially written for a stand-alone piece (not as a suite), but if I included the fully developed riffs here the song would be waaay too long.

Oh, and thanks for the crit everyone! I really appreciate all who have critted this, though I would still like suggestions on this, especially on how to make it flow better!
Last edited by MarchOfEternity at May 18, 2008,