#1
Hey, I want your opinion about my new two songs... Are they any good? What should I change? Thanks!

White path

On the beginig, we se the same,
but the end is alway unique,
because every soul makes its own story!
It has its last moment...

If there isnt light in our darkness,
then how can we know where we are?
While we wander on that long way,
the decision is never on us...

White path!
its the begining and the end!
White path!
its heaven and hell!
White path!
its night and day!
White path...

In the eternal search for the light,
in a world between us,
the book turns its page,
there is no voice anymore,
and were again in that same old darkness...

White path!
its the begining and the end!
White path!
its heaven and hell!
White path!
its night and day!
White path...

[SOLO]

White path!
its the begining and the end!
White path!
its heaven and hell!
White path!
its night and day!
White path..

White path!
its the begining and the end!
White path!
its heaven and hell!
White path!
its night and day!
White path...

-------------------------------------------------

Wheels of hell

They go on the road,
and they dissapear in the dark!
On the eternal place,
where they will meet again!

Every move they make,
the open eye can see!
Every breath they take,
the cold truth can feel!

Run from the wheels of hell!
Cause you dont wanna be one of them!
Run from the wheels of hell!
Run away from each lost life!

Run away!
Run away!

[SOLO]

When they come behind the light,
there is no turning back!
Its a world full of evil,
full of dirty deeds!

Run from the wheels of hell!
Cause you dont wanna be one of them!
Run from the wheels of hell!
Run away from each lost life!

Run from the wheels of hell!
Cause you dont wanna be one of them!
Run from the wheels of hell!
Run away from each lost life!

Run away!
Run away!
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had...
#2
Anyone ?
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had...
#3
I thought white path was rather interesting as it seemed to be one huge metaphor, though I'm too tired to really decide what I think it's a metaphor for. Overall I'd probably rate it 7/10. Maybe revise some of the phrases but keep the main idea there.

Wheels of hell seemed more simplistic and I hate to be negative but I really didn't like it. It seemed to be a bit of a ramble, though this is probably just because it's repetitive and it really isn't what I find interesting in lyrics. So that's probably my fault not yours.

Overall I think they're pretty decent.
#4
Nice!

but: the first may sound racist to some people, ´white path´.

and you got alot of, light and dark terms in the lyrcis, may try to change, but the rest is good!
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#6
Thanks people!
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had...
#7
The original songs are on croatian, so they sound better, I had to improvise while translating them...
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had...
#8
More opinions?
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had...