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#1
i was randomly wondering, what are some awesome/lame/stupid/funny quotes you have heard? post 'em here.

mine are:

"You better wear a helmet so you dont make a mess when I BLOW YO MIND!!!!"

"I think that I did too much acid in highschool and can't remember what I said in 2001."

"Silly rabbit, Kiko Puffs are for kids!!"

"Having sex with me is like going to the ****ing carnival. You'll always have a blast!"


..and don't tell me to use the searchbar, because i did.
Quote by SteveHouse
M. Night Shyamallama

#3
I can't even remember what I say, let alone what someone else says.

But the quote in my sig is pretty funny...and true.
#4
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy"- Boris Johnson
Quote by Alter-Bridge
If I had sex as much as you said the word "shit" I would be paris hilton.


Quote by rworsl
I have never felt closer to either cheese or weasels


Quote by Vermintide

DURN THING DUN GONE MESS UP AGIYAN. MARGE, FETCH ME MAH BOOMSTIYAK
#5
"Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then its fun and games you can't see anymore."
"I strongly believe in karma. That way, I can do horrible things to peple all day and assume they deserve it."
Xbox Live tag: Dream Away Rain
Add!

Quote by marko'd
dont sweat how quick your progressing, i heard that Jimi hendrix didnt get his legendary guitar skills until he was dead


Quote by Dreadnought
+ MOTHERFUCKIN' 1
#6
Anything from Oscar Wilde, Woody Allen or Albert Einstein.

"Always agree with your enemies, nothing annoys them so much."

"Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber in on weekends."

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment."

"Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe."
#8
"Here today, gone tomorrow because yesterdays following was nothing more than a tool in every individuals need for self importance, entertainment and social rituals" -Kurt Cobain.

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity."- Albert Einstein

"I wish the first word I had said when I was born was 'quote.' Then before I die, I could say, 'end quote.'"
Steven Wright

"Music is more powerful then anyone could ever explain, you know. Its a power as great as love I think." -Bert McCracken.

"I like to be passionate and sincere but I also like to have fun and act like a dork. Geeks unite." -Kurt Cobain.
Quote by metacarpi
t3gan? Coming to the UK?

*smooths mair and straightens shirt*

Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
t3gan and Bec > Tegan and Sara.
#9
"There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another."
Frank Zappa
now extra flamey
#11
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

EDIT: ****er stole mine...nvm

also, sig.
TheBurningFish wrote:
I don't mean to generalise but I don't believe the average Coldplay fan is a massive musical theory nut.


FS/FT: Cort SP1 Stratocaster
Zoom GFX5 fx processor
Washburn BD40 amp
$100 each OBO
Last edited by emr_steelmech at May 10, 2008,
#12
"Workers of the World Unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!”- Karl Marx

EDIT: I realise it's not a 'funny' quote... but its dope.
Last edited by pwnerer at May 10, 2008,
#13
I think it's time for some quotes from the not so gangsta Tim Westwood.

"That's straight blazin"
"The king pin of the car game"
"The bomb's about to go off, baby"
"Walking with the big dogs"
"I'm gonna big him up something crazy"

yes tim westwood is the biggest idiot on the planet
So what you're a retard, but without people like you in the world i wouldn't feel so good about myself.
#14
Quote by t3gan


"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity."- Albert Einstein



Continued: "And I'm not sure about the universe".
#16
msn convos ftw

Guy=Hey you know what's really big?
Me=What?
Guy=My brain
Me= -_-. lol you're cute.
Guy=But you know what's not cute?
Me=What?
Guy=My brain.

k, i'd rather it was a penis joke.

and "OMG IT'S AN ASIAN."
#18
my all time favourite quote is:

"come to the edge" he said
they said "we are afraid"
"come to the edge" he said
they came
he pushed them
... and they flew.


its so inspiring...
no sarcasm at all. people always ask if im being sarcastic. im not. its a great quote...
Quote by Machanix
We play guitar.... we're automatically on top of the world.

Life Is A Lemon And I Want My Money Back!

A Wasted Youth
Is Better By Far
Than A Wise And Productive Old Age

Good Girls Go To Heaven, But The Bad Girls Go Everywhere!
#19
(Meths) you dont have a camera?
(Anurndrew) I do
(Meths) what do you live in the stone age or something?
(Anurndrew) Somewhere
(Anurndrew) It's my sisters though
(Anurndrew) She prolly has Noodz
(Anurndrew) or something
(Anurndrew) Even though she's like
(Anurndrew) 11
(Meths) send
(Meths) WAIT NO
(Anurndrew) :O
(Meths) DAMN YOU
(Anurndrew) YOU SICK MAN!


The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#20
"Oh my god!!! The Fish might drown".....WTF :O:O:O
Or
"Oh i suck so just come anyway" (girk trying to convince another girl to come play poker)
#21
Quote by instagata0
my all time favourite quote is:

"come to the edge" he said
they said "we are afraid"
"come to the edge" he said
they came
he pushed them
... and they flew.


its so inspiring...
no sarcasm at all. people always ask if im being sarcastic. im not. its a great quote...

Where exactly is that from? It would seem Guillaume Apollinaire, but is it a poem or what? I like it.
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#22
"outside of a dog a book is a man's best friend, inside of a Dog it's too dark to read"
"Why should we subsidise intellectual curiosity?"
-Ronald Reagan

"Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness."
-George Washington
#23
"It's always funny until someone gets hurt...Then it's just hilarious!" Bill Hicks!
Quote by DrewsGotTheLife
yea man, who ever doesnt like pantera or think they suck doesnt like metal, end of discussion, they changed the freakin world n made history, so don't be sayin they suck, have respect, same goes for machine head n lamb of god cuz their good too
#24
This was on TV, a rugby game. a commentator and Brian Moore (bald northern bloke)

Commentator: Looks like the French player got stamped on, that should be a penalty
Brian Moore: I don't care, he's a frenchman
#26
This one always goes down a treat.

Quote by rabidguitarist
You're a cunt.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#27
Quote by TEK34
This was on TV, a rugby game. a commentator and Brian Moore (bald northern bloke)

Commentator: Looks like the French player got stamped on, that should be a penalty
Brian Moore: I don't care, he's a frenchman


Thats exactly why i hate f*cking English commentators.
#28
Quote by TEK34
This was on TV, a rugby game. a commentator and Brian Moore (bald northern bloke)

Commentator: Looks like the French player got stamped on, that should be a penalty
Brian Moore: I don't care, he's a frenchman


Cannot stand Brian Moore. Utter twat.
#29
"I haven't failed, I have just discovered a way that doesn't work." - Albert Einstein

There's my excuse for failing assignments.
#30
My profile. Red letters.
Back to the classic avatar.

Quote by KISSguitarist
You are the best writer ever Graybass. Sig me for that. But i love you! You should make a book!

Quote by Phil_Bass_Boy
Jesus christ, your avatar is the best I have seen in my life.

Quote by mh400nt
Graybass_20x6 has a better avatar than you
#31
"Well, here's how I see it: There is a brief scene in 'Saving Private Ryan', during the opening sequence on the Normandy Beach, where just for a few seconds the camera moves to a viewpoint of a German machine-gunner - looking over his machine-gun sights down onto the beach - who is laying waste to countless U.S. soldiers as the doors open up to their boats and they are all just helpless and vulnerable, in the water and struggling onto the beach, exposed to devastating machine gunfire - and from this vantage point, one can not help but get the feeling, if only for a moment, of what it must feel like to be that machine gunner, with so many helpless targets right in your sights to mow down at will. Of course, for that machine-gunner, you also feel that, however awesome it must be for those priceless few moments of godly slaughter, it will inevitably be short-lived, because he is soon to be roasted alive in his bunker as soon as Tom Hanks and friends make it up the hill. But for those few moments of unimpeded opportunity to mow down wave after wave of helpless targets, it had to be utterly godly."

-Karl Sanders of Nile
Quote by blackenedktulu
CFH82, I love you. I didn't laugh, but my god, I love you.

Quote by Zero-Hartman
Holy shit, that was epic. A mighty roar escapeth'd my mouth.

Quote by WyvernOmega
I saw a penis.

last.fm
#32
!Sí He dejado en libertad los prisioneros y ahora vengo por ti!

-El Pollo Diablo
#33
Quote by Craigo
"Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." Albert Einstein

"Touch your hand to a hot stove for a minute and it feels like an hour, sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."

I think it makes more sense in the context of the rest of the quote.
#34
Quote by GrEgUms1991
Thats exactly why i hate f*cking English commentators.


So the Scots have no bias or hatred towards any other nationality? Ugh, I hate pointing out hypocrisy as an argument, but that was such a retarded point.

FREDIT:

Woman: Mr Churchill, you are drunk.

Churchill: Yes I may be, but you - madam - are ugly, and tomorrow morning I will be sober.
Quote by DrewsGotTheLife
yea man, who ever doesnt like pantera or think they suck doesnt like metal, end of discussion, they changed the freakin world n made history, so don't be sayin they suck, have respect, same goes for machine head n lamb of god cuz their good too
Last edited by freddaahh at May 10, 2008,
#35
Quote by Craigo
"Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." Albert Einstein

You forgot the first half: Sit on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour (Or at least I THINK he said that, too).

EDIT: Ah, beaten.
#36
"She's got one.

She's got one.

She's got one..."

Jeremy on vaginas.
#37
Quote by TheQuailman
You forgot the first half: Sit on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour (Or at least I THINK he said that, too).

EDIT: Ah, beaten.

I know the full quote, but it sounds better shortened.
#38
Quote by Dinkydaisy
Where exactly is that from? It would seem Guillaume Apollinaire, but is it a poem or what? I like it.


From what I've discovered, it's a Christopher Logue poem, written in 1968. The same year that there was a festival to honour the 50th anniversary of the death of Guillaume Apollinaire.

This quote below seems to shed some more light on the subject.

"Accordingly, in 1995, I asked Christopher Logue for his comments. He had an intriguing explanation for the confusion: 'In 1961 or '62, Michael English and I were asked by Michael Kustow to design a poster/poem for an Apollinaire exhibition he was mounting at the ICA (Institute of Contemporary Arts in London).
'I wrote "Come to the Edge" and put the words "Apollinaire said" at the beginning of it; a cross between a title and a first line. On the poster, the poem, plus "Apollinaire said:" framed an illustration of clouds. Later, when the poem was reprinted, I dropped the trope. Last year, though, the US "magician" David Copperfield projected a garbled version of the poem on to a screen as part of his show, as well as printing it in his "tour-book" the show's programme. I believe the poem has been reprinted in at least one US book without my permission. Maybe it had the trope attached to it still.'
Indeed, a David Copperfield TV special show in the UK in 1995 concluded with an approximation of the poem ... attributed to Apollinaire."

-from "Cassell Companion to Quotations" by Nigel Rees.
#39
Quote by Sabu
"She's got one.

She's got one.

She's got one..."

Jeremy on vaginas.


"She's trying to hide hers, but she's definitely got one."

That was an awesome episode.
Quote by DrewsGotTheLife
yea man, who ever doesnt like pantera or think they suck doesnt like metal, end of discussion, they changed the freakin world n made history, so don't be sayin they suck, have respect, same goes for machine head n lamb of god cuz their good too
#40
"the nights are a very dark time for me."
"The night is a dark time for everyone."
"Not for people in alaska, or people with night vision goggles."
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