#1
Well...it's actually my first song.
I feel kinda depressed right now.
Nothing to do, no 1 to love (I mean a girl )...
I'm really bored so I decided to post a song that I like.
So I wanted to see if you like it too. which I doubt.
But hey..it's my first ''serious'' song.
I'm 14 and I have no inspiration.
Nothing interesting happened in my life that I could get any inspiration from.
I'm not from an english speaking country so I don't know all the words and I would be really happy if you would help me improve this song if it's possible.
here it is:

Hey there, how are you doing tonight
are you going out or are you sleeping tight
all alone
all night long


I'm dreaming of you every time not awake
I'm thinking of you every minute of the day
about the things that you say.

Cause I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
and i' do anything just for you.
cause every time awake
I make the same mistake
over and over again.

Time after time when I walk alone
I'm thinking of going back home again.
over and over again.


Cause I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
and i' do anything just for you.
cause every time awake
I make the same mistake
over and over again.


I was thinking of adding another verse but I just don't find anything useful.
Well, I guess these aren't useful neither.
I think it sounds better the way I sing it than the way when I just read it.
and I really like (so does my band) the guitar part of this song.
Post your opinions and possible improvements please.
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Quote by hawk_kst
You Sir, have the best signature like ever!
#2
thats damned good!!!!!!!
but see the bit where you go"I'm dreaming of you every time not awake"
if you try changing it to"im dreaming of you every time im not awake" itd sound better
My name is Vikki. Use it

We took the last train
Out of the city
To plan our great escape
Last edited by ParamoreMadXD at May 10, 2008,
#3
Quote by ParamoreMadXD
thats damned good!!!!!!!
but see the bit where you go"I'm dreaming of you every time not awake"
if you try changing it to"im dreaming of you every time im not awake" itd sound better


yeah...it does sound better.
thanks.
I see you have the Blink 182 avatar.
That's why you probably like it.
Cause they're my main influence xD
1. You're surfing the internet.
2. You're browsing through the UG forums.
3. You're reading now.
5. You didn't notice that there was no #4.
6. You just checked it.
7. Now you're having a lil smile.

Quote by hawk_kst
You Sir, have the best signature like ever!
#4
yep
they rule
i cried so much when they split
My name is Vikki. Use it

We took the last train
Out of the city
To plan our great escape
#5
Quote by ParamoreMadXD
yep
they rule
i cried so much when they split


I wasn't into punk rock at that time.
I liked GNR and ac/dc more xD
but it's kinda better that I did cuz otherwise I would cry too xD
1. You're surfing the internet.
2. You're browsing through the UG forums.
3. You're reading now.
5. You didn't notice that there was no #4.
6. You just checked it.
7. Now you're having a lil smile.

Quote by hawk_kst
You Sir, have the best signature like ever!
#6
anyone please post opinions...I would really appriciate them.
1. You're surfing the internet.
2. You're browsing through the UG forums.
3. You're reading now.
5. You didn't notice that there was no #4.
6. You just checked it.
7. Now you're having a lil smile.

Quote by hawk_kst
You Sir, have the best signature like ever!
#8
Quote by KenMasters
I hate blink but youre song would make a nice Firs Date style pop punk song


thanks a lot !
1. You're surfing the internet.
2. You're browsing through the UG forums.
3. You're reading now.
5. You didn't notice that there was no #4.
6. You just checked it.
7. Now you're having a lil smile.

Quote by hawk_kst
You Sir, have the best signature like ever!