#1
Veiled In Oblivion

[Intro]

1.
The secrets of the world
Beaten numb, paralyzed
Dwelling in vile,
rest in pieces no one finds
surrounded by the faceless evil
kept in deep silence
locked in their mind
minds of the human greed

Chorus:
Shrouded with a haze of lies
Arrested in tenebrous light
so no one will find
the truth
VEILED IN OBLIVION

2.
Vile Dwelling Scum
So like we do
Know the truth
But no one's listening to
The polluted minds of the society
Will never be free
Forever stricken
In curruption
Screaming Iniquity

Chorus:
Shrouded with a haze of lies
Arrested in tenebrous light
so no one will find
the truth
VEILED IN OBLIVION

Outro:
Iniquity and cruelty
Veiled in oblivion
Their faith, their believings
Veiled in Oblivion..


my english is miserable. german-english

C4C!


EDIT:
update
-outro
-added:bass, less sloppy bridges, solo
Attachments:
Veiled In Oblivion.zip
Veiled in Oblivion_fixed outro.zip
Veiled in Oblivion_update.zip
Last edited by talentfree at May 13, 2008,
#2
Listening to it as a MIDI file right now.

Damn, you need to record it cause it's pretty sick.
#3
Cool man, what were you thinking about doing for the vocals part? Screaming, singing?
#5
Good

-Kreatorish
-aggressive
-thrashy, really thrashy
-not metalcore

Bad

-no solo
-????
-outro's a bit weak

Overall, this is great. Its thrash so i gotta give u an 8.5 maybe even a 9.

PLEASE!!!! take a look at mine more thrash for ya
Quote by The Spoon
Unless you're sure she likes you, telling her you like her has a 110% chance of failing.

But hey, at least you have a 10% chance of absolutely guaranteeing failure.
Last edited by British_Steal at May 10, 2008,
#9
Overall, a good, solid song.

The intro riff progression seemed a bit generic, and kind of bland, but the rest of song makes up for it. The transition to the B-string part was kind of jolty, as was and the transition from that part to the chorus.

The lack of bass makes it sound empty; add some bass, even if it just follows the guitar. And I was expecting a solo in there somewhere, perhaps over a bridge of some sort?

I really liked the outro, it was crushing and slightly epic at the same time.

On the whole, good job. Not too much wrong with it, really. 8.5/10.


#10
I pretty much agree with Broadsword. This is a solid kreator-esque thrash song, but some riffs were a bit bland. The solo was good but it felt like it needed som big bends or something because it was a bit anti-climactic (sp?) if you know what I mean.
Overall a pretty good song, 8.5/10