#1
I step into whirlpools,
Lie deep within jungles
Colorado

I see withering dust storm,
Sail through beached echoes
Colorado

I tame fiery shelter,
Warm blue earth and tundra
Colorado

I tread humus and granite,
Wind earthbound in blackness
Colorado

And so I rest my head,
Observing the humbling wonders of natural epiphany
Lying upside down in rural Colorado
Ain't Nuthin' But a UG Thang: Generic member of the UG Hip Hop/Guitar Music Equality Illuminati

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It seems like UG is full of those Caveman Metalheads

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I meant caveman as in long haired....


#2
it was all pretty good, the only stanza i didn't like was stanza1
but then again im not really to crazy for this kinda poetry either so i can't really help 2 much
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Viscara (my band)
#3
I didn't like the pattern of two short lines punctuated by "Colorado".
Not that I minded the punctuation, but it's annoying when there's so little preceding it.

I've been to Colorado, but evidently not to the same parts as you.
jungles feels completely out of place.
Meadows
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