Page 1 of 5
#1
TL;DR - Hell yeah. My BAMF level just skyrocketed.

So, there I was, walking into my bathroom. I take off my dressing gown (lazy day ftw), sit on the throne and get to it. Looking around, I notice a big fuck-off, master of evil wasp smacking itself on my window, desperate to escape to the outside world to continue with it's evil plans to destroy mankind. Well, my friends, I am not having that. I am pretty much naked, and I do not want an agitated wasp flying around my small bathroom.

At this point, the wasp has not noticed me. I look around my bathroom, frantically searching for a tool to dispatch this MF from his life of wrong-doing. Well, my distress must have alerted the wasp, as he stopped banging on the window, and landed on the windowsill. Right next to my freakin' head. He turns around, stops and just looks at me. Let me tell you, we stare each other down for what seems like an eternity.

This MF thinks he has the better of me, he thinks I'm scared. So he casually returns to bashing the window. By now, his crew must have realised he is missing, and I figure he is trying to alert them. No way am I having an army of wasps descend on my house on some four-horsemen type of shit. No fucking way. I notice an air-freshener is the only weapon within arms-reach to defend myself.

Reacting quicker than Bruce Lee on a gram of speed, I take the lid off and start spraying the bitch like I'm playing the start of 'Charlie Don't Surf' on CoD4. The wasp goes mad, smacking itself harder than ever on my window. I think to myself 'WTF Mayday, you just committed suicide'. Well, the only person dying today was the wasp. No way am I getting stung. NO WAY. So I get the lid, and with lizard-like reflexes I swipe the wasp into the window, with the lid holding it captive. Trust me, the feeling of victory was incredible. I have never been prouder of myself in my entire life.

But, it was not over.

I could hear and feel the wasp going mad inside the purple-capped prison. As far as he was concerned, the war was not over. Rolling my eyes, I devised a plan to wipe the feisty MF off the face off the earth. It involved another round of air-freshener, a anti-bacterial bathroom wipe and a swift flush of the toilet. In all the excitement, I had not realised I had finished on the loo (I had kept an arm extended to the lid on window throughout, lol). Perfect timing. Leaving out the details, I stood up and flushed away the toilet paper.

Now was my time to strike. I took the air freshener with one hand, slightly lifted the lid ajar with the other and rained down a sea of lemon-scented pain on the wasp. Disorientating the wasp, I moved the lid from the window to the window sill. Thinking the wasp must be dead by now, I opened the lid only to have my worst fears confirmed. HE WAS STILL ALIVE! Albeit, crawling around in a lake of air-freshener, but he still startled me. I put the lid back on him, got an anti-bacterial wipe to use as a floor for the 'prison' and swept the lid into the toilet (keeping hold of the lid, mind).

It was over. I could see the wasp, my greatest foe lying defeated in the toilet water. I reached for the handle, preparing to flush away his life. He must have sensed this, as he began swimming around in the water, fighting for his life. 'Oh god!' I thought 'WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DIE??'. Still, all I had to do was flush, right?

Wrong. I flushed, only to find the toilet wasn't ready. Holy shit, my heart began racing. I flushed again with no result. Grabbing a handful of toilet paper, I threw it into the toilet, hoping to subdue the wasp. Well, great fucking idea Mayday, now I couldn't see him. Hopelessly turning the handle, I looked down and my heart dropped. Not only was he still alive, he was climbing up the inside of the fucking toilet. I grabbed another handful of toilet paper, and threw it at him. Then, taking the toilet handle with both hands, I flushed with all my might...


...Success! The toilet flushed, water cascaded down the inside walls of it, taking the wasp down into the pipe. Now, it really was over. Sweat dripping off my forehead, I washed my hands, and walked away.
#2
Congratulations. You killed a bug.
ALWAYS

WANNA BE WITH YOU,
MAKE BELIEV
E WITH YOU,
AND L
IVE IN HARMONY, HARMONY,



OH, LOOVE!
#3
I stopped reading on the 3rd paragraph and skipped to the bottom.

Why didn't you just open the window and let it go?
#5
wow
Peavey JSX
Marshall 1960A
Ibanez S470 DXQM
Boss DD-6
Dunlop Original Crybaby
#12
...by absolutely no means should anyone consider this an inslult, but are you high? just asking because my train of thought is similar to that story when i'm stoned.

edit: insult, not inslut.
i always come to UG for a tab, but get sucked into the pit

[SoWrongItsMatt]Have you tried, "Sex on fire?"



[[x]Huffy[x]]Either way I'm gonna be too stoned to care.

what he said.^

i love qotsa

mymusic
enjoy it.
#13
Quote by Thornography
I stopped reading on the 3rd paragraph and skipped to the bottom.

Why didn't you just open the window and let it go?


Logic goes out the window when you're staring death in the face.
#14
Wasps never die. He'll be back.
Originally posted by TestForEcho
Badreligionrock is the man.

Quote by Pinky19
Badreligionrock you have the greatest avatar of all time. Rejected is the best video. Period.
#15
that made my day......
thank you
Quote by Diet_coke_head
Hey! Now you can molest you're grandma and she won't remember! Score!!!



Gear:
Fender Aerodyne Jazz Bass
Fender V Jazz
Ashdown MAG 410
EH Bass Big MUff
MXR Bass Octave Deluxe
Digitech Synth Wah
#16


Quote by Adam_Harrison9
Same thing happened to me just a minute ago. I picked my dad's scorpians cd up and severed it in half before crushing it's head. I hope I killed 2 birds with one stone and wrecked the cd as well.

Quote by Ez0ph
That was a different Feb08er that threatened to suck you off
I remember that


Sadly, I was the threatened.
Quote by Firenze


Let it be known that I concur with everything this gentleman says, ever.



www.myspace.com/tarsusmusic
Last edited by TooFast at May 11, 2008,
#17
You should write novels.
Quote by bananahammock
How many mods does it take ban half of the pit?
one, Carmel.



▼▼▼▼▼▼
▼▼ ▲ ▲▼▼
▼▼▼▼
▲ ▲▲ ▲
#21
Congratulations, you defeated a bug in an epic, over the top manner. You should go to Hollywood, they always do that ****.
Quote by National_Anthem
Quote by Weeping_Demon7

Worst-Atheists (because 90% of them are arrogant bastards)
Best- Music


90% of people are arrogant bastards, regardless of religion.
#22
You make every day affairs seem epic...

FYI, the wasp will return. With comrades.
Why I Love Spanish Women

I'm hoping by "crack" you mean cleavage unless you have some kind of bizarre ass-chest.


Quote by Kensai
Dude, relax. Don't be so rape about things.
#23
congratulations on a job well done sir
Member of the Bass Militia, PM Nutter_101 to join

Quote by bass-boy-garith
well done mr. kiss my bass, well done
#25
Epic, EPIC Win!

let us all worship Mayday, the ALMIGHTY WASP SLAYER OF THE NIGHT!
ᶌῖᶌα ɭα ɌεᶌσɭƲʈιʘϰ
#26
Quote by taraholic
FYI, the wasp will return. With comrades.



The radioactive mutant wasp army will rise out of the sewers and sting you on the arse.
#27
That was incredibly epic
████████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
█████████████████████████
██████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
#29


That was absolutely amazing.

EDIT: I killed a wasp in my shower room a couple of days ago with air freshener and one of my sandals, but it wasn't near as epic as that.
#31
It's not dead yet
Quote by FrenchyFungus
Hey y'all!!! Me and my friend were over at her house. I we were wonder what guys think when they see a hot girl at the mall or whatever walk by. (We're both pretty as y'all would say "blonde" sometimes).


Quote by rabidguitarist
I just look like some homo.
#32
bloody insects, the temperature goes up a few degrees and they think they have carte blanche to do what the hell they like while us poor mortals flop around in the heat.

i'm at my boyfriends, and have been attacked by two spiders. one is now under a glass, where it has been for about five days because i fear to lift said glass up in case it has set up some sort of trap where its carcass is flung at me when i DO lift the glass up, or worse, in case it still lives. the other one is trapped in an icecream box - three days. i do not know if spiders can subsist on icecream alone, but i'm not willing to risk it. thus, the box stays shut.

a third spider leapt at me in the bathroom, but frightened away by my thunderous war cry (read: pitiful screaming) it scarpered before i could ask Connor to encapsulate it in something.

so now i fear using the bathroom, in case it's planning some hideous eight legged attack.



ONE DAY IT WILL BE COLD AGAIN, REPULSIVE CREATURES, AND THEN US SUPERIOR HUMANS WILL LAUGH WHILE YOU DIE IN THE FROST.
MEMBER OF THE LAUGAM BRITISH HIT SQUAD! HONORARY MEMBER OF THE SWEDISH LAUGAM HIT SQUAD!
I'M JUST SEE THROUGH FADED, SUPER JADED, AND OUT OF MY MIND
<//////>~ dA
Esther is officially awesome and smart - Frenchy
#37
Quote by Martyr's Prayer
Well if I ever need a wasp killed, I'll call you... or just squish it.



you should call my sister. she used to use my old fish tank to drown wasps and bees in, because the grate in the top was too small for them to escape through - and they can't stay airborne in an inch of airspace forever.

sick little child.
MEMBER OF THE LAUGAM BRITISH HIT SQUAD! HONORARY MEMBER OF THE SWEDISH LAUGAM HIT SQUAD!
I'M JUST SEE THROUGH FADED, SUPER JADED, AND OUT OF MY MIND
<//////>~ dA
Esther is officially awesome and smart - Frenchy
#38
Epic.

Just..

EPIC.
Our hearts are with Nick Grundy.
Quote by Ez0ph
I think AvengedThrice is pretty cool guy, eh raeps kittens to death and doesn't afraid of anything.

He knows me well..
#39
Yeah , wasps are definatly trying to eliminate humans of the earth.
Next time , just grab a towel and crush the wasp with your hands.
If you're into some kinky torturing though , put on a leather glove and catch wasps with the leather covered hand (without killing them or harming them in any way) Put them in a see-trough plastic container and make a small hole .
Spray chemicals or poke the wasp with heated needles through the hole.

Once , i managed to keep the wasp from dying for more than 2 days.
#40
Jesus christ, you just made my day! I ****ing love you!
Quote by Jonjy2
Haha! You are awesome Bucketbotman!! Lolz!!

+100


I CAN PUT MY FOOT BEHIND MY HEAD!

Gear
Ibanez RG370DX special edition!
Tanglewood Oddessy Acoustic
Marshall TSL100
Marshall 1960's A slant cab
Fender 40W amp
Dunlop Crybaby
Page 1 of 5