#1
Hey guys =) this is a little song i made up myself... the meaning is self explanatory really...
so here it is, tell me what you think =)
All words in between *'s are screamed.
All words in brackets are sung in the background.

-
(never will i forget)
The day i first kissed you
(never have I)
ever seen my reflection so clear in
*somebody... else's... eyes...*

your beautiful voice I've heard.
kisses you gave I've tasted.
memories shared, we've *seen everything*
And I miss feeling your body against mine.
And the smell of your hair still keeps me
from sleeping at night.

*I don't* know.
Not knowing is what rips me apart.
(*Do you still think of me?*)
could you really have forgotten
about the times we've shared?

give me an answer, tell me what you think, my best friend...
just tell me if this could truly be the end

your beautiful voice I've heard.
kisses you gave I've tasted.
memories shared, we've *seen everything*
And I miss feeling your body against mine.
And the smell of your hair still keeps me
from sleeping at night.

*HOW COULD YOU??!!*
*I WISH I COULD HATE YOU FOR TAKING THIS AWAY!!!!!*
*HOW COULD..... YOU?????!!!!!*
*I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WILL CHANGE YOU, BUT MY SKIES HAVE ALREADY*
*FADED... THEY'VE FADED BACK TO GRAY!!!!!!*

your beautiful voice I've heard.
kisses you gave I've tasted.
memories shared, we've *seen everything*
And I miss feeling your body against mine.
And the smell of your hair still keeps me
from sleeping at night.

your beautiful voice I've heard.
(memories...)
kisses you gave I've tasted.
(They'll have...)
memories shared, we've *seen everything*
And I miss feeling your body against mine.
(To keep me company...)
And the smell of your hair still keeps me
from sleeping at night.
(While you're..... gone...............)
-


So that's it =) what do you guys think?
p.s. I named the song "senses" because during the chorus i list the 5 senses:

your beautiful voice I've heard.
kisses you gave I've tasted.
Memories shared, we've *seen everything*
And I miss feeling your body against mine.
And the smell of your hair still keeps me
from sleeping at night.
#2
Quote by tsoyguitar
So that's it =) what do you guys think?
I think when you do this:
*HOW COULD YOU??!!*
*I WISH I COULD HATE YOU FOR TAKING THIS AWAY!!!!!*

it's so juvenile/junior high that it makes me want to vomit.

But there a bunch of good shiz in there too.
Stay more focused on expressing the pleasures experienced through those senses
and leave the issues of loss/rejection more sketchy/uncertain.
Meadows
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