#1
i'm back writing battle metal now. C4C. Rejoice for Valhalla is near


Cant fault a sinister design
Cant fault the passing of time
This is our demise
Never to see the darkened sun arise

Journey within the forest long
March across the fjords where our memories perished
They were frozen within time
And the only way out is through a hole in this heart of mine

Hear our battlecry
It echos to the heavens high
Valhalla draws near
Our enemies clad in fear

Raise your sword up high
Hear an eagle cry
We are alone
Except a legacy carved on thunderstone

Hear our battlecry
It echos to the heavens high
Valhalla draws near
Our enemies clad in fear

Behold the battle magic
Death is so f***ing tragic
We shall live forever!

Love and hate
I cannot discern
at the point of no return

Hear our battlecry
It echos to the heavens high
Valhalla draws near
Our enemies clad in fear
Raise your chalice my brother
Raise it high
To catch the fire that falls from the sky
#2
Quote by Bal_Sagoth



Cant fault a sinister design
Cant fault the passing of time
This is our demise
Never to see the darkened sun arise
not bad it's good but the last line seems very worddy 7/10


Journey within the forest long
March across the fjords where our memories perished
They were frozen within time
And the only way out is through a hole in this heart of mine
again very wordy makes a cool song sound to...cluttered 6/10

Hear our battlecry
It echos to the heavens high
Valhalla draws near
Our enemies clad in fear
i enjoyed this line got your point acrros smoothly 9/10

Raise your sword up high
Hear an eagle cry
We are alone
Except a legacy carved on thunderstone
again, great stanza but the last line kills the flow 6/10


Hear our battlecry
It echos to the heavens high
Valhalla draws near
Our enemies clad in fear
good rhyming, last rhyme is slightly forced, but pretty cool stanza nonetheless. 8/10

Behold the battle magic
Death is so f***ing tragic
We shall live forever!
i like the way you have to say Fu(King when reading it to make it go with the flow. 9/10 for twisting a word

Love and hate
I cannot discern
at the point of no return
ehh not bad, nothing special here. kinda forced 6/10

Hear our battlecry
It echos to the heavens high
Valhalla draws near
Our enemies clad in fear


i'm not really big on metal, but just reading it as a poem i thought is wouldv'w been an enjoyable peice, but it was to clutterd and wordy

if youd like to crit mine it's here. angels and demons, vocies and cards
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Mr.Cuddles killed The Metal!!!! FUCK YES!

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Mr Cuddles pretty much nailed it...

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Viscara (my band)