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#1
So, I'm in a predicament, a girl who I've just started seeing wants me to come over to her house and meet her mom.

I want to make a good impression because whether she likes me or not will determine how much she let's her daughter go out with me.

So do any of you fellow UGer's have any advice on how to woo a girl's mom?
#4
Don't pull out your penis on first encounter.

THey don't seem to like that?
HEY
Do you like anime/manga?
PM me about buying the graphic novels I'm trying to sell
#6
Quote by Dilweed
Sleep with her.

Wait, you don't know TS. That could only end up making matters worse.

Rig a very small bass amp into wherever she sits, keep a bass in your lap, and just keep playing a low F#.

I might have a better answer if I ever had to deal with this kind of situation personally...
#8
Don't dress like you normally do, if you're a metalhead like a good 50% of UGers.

Just.. be normal. Don't be outrageous, don't go too far out of your way to make her laugh or see that you're a "good person".

And buttsex.
TOO MANY PUPPIES

Soda sucks.
#9
Sounds good to me, I'll make obvious moves in front of her so that I can score with her mom.

What would I do without you guys?
#10
be yourself
Quote by Spoony_Bard
Depends on what she's on top of. If she's on top of my pizza I'm gonna have to scissor kick a bitch.


MY BUILD!
#11
Don't go in with the attitude that you're trying to win her over. That could lead to you laying it on too thick. Just be yourself. Now, if being yourself means being an asshole then please, be my guest and make shit up.
#13
Quote by Firequacker
Don't dress like you normally do, if you're a metalhead like a good 50% of UGers.

Just.. be normal. Don't be outrageous, don't go too far out of your way to make her laugh or see that you're a "good person".

And buttsex.


Lulz. I haven't heard buttsecks in forever.
#14
ask her where she gets her top lip waxed, then reccomend she gets her money back... Works every time, also comment on her daughters child bearing hips, but reccomend she teaches her to stay in the kitchen more often. Then send them both to the kitchen while you steal anything that looks like it may be worth money
I've Made You A Drawing of a Giraffe Fucking an Elephant. Notice How His Moustache Looks Just Like Mine.

Your Mother's Got a Penis
#15
Just be friendly, clean up after yourself, don't drop a deuce in the bathroom, don't be touchy with your girl, tell her about you being a musician and your wonderful grades.
last.fm[/url}
#16
nice shoes, wanna screw?
Quote by beadhangingOne
There is no music but metal and muhammad is its prophet.
#17
My girlfriends mom thinks I'm a bad kid, her father thinks I'm a wimp. Can you see the problems already
I'm apparently supposed to meet her tomorrow....
McLovin is my hero!

It's not the going that the pit cares about.
It's the coming.
#18
Quote by Mcassidy42
Sounds good to me, I'll make obvious moves in front of her so that I can score with her mom.

What would I do without you guys?

Well you wouldn't have a girlfriend after the night is over.

Its what were here for.
#19
I think I'll just wing it.

Parents in general like me it seems, I have good relations with all my teachers, no matter how "Un-Metal" that may make me sound.
#20
Just be calm, keep a level head and don't say anything stupid.
GREAT ODIN'S RAVEN
#21
Quote by Dilweed
Lulz. I haven't heard buttsecks in forever.


Woah, ********* isn't blocked anymore??


EDIT: damn
#22
No, forget what those losers say. You should right off the bat, ask her where the bathroom is. Preceed to have loud, nasty dehrria in their toilet for a good hour and a half. Don't flush. When you are done, come out of the bathroom without washing your hands, and shake her moms hand. Right as you do that let out a big stinky fart. Excuse yourself then return to the bathroom. Stay in there until her dad comes home. When he comes home, rush out of the bathroom with your pants around your ankles and vigorously shake his hand while saying "pleased to meet you", then run back to the bathroom. This is when you hide in the cabinet below the sink. Hide in there until they are convinced that you are gone, or have disappeared. Wait until her mother goes to the bathroom in there, and start ripping huge farts. Be giggling as you do this. When she opens up the cabinets and finds you in there, begin to cry and tell her you are doing all of this because you love her daughter.

That is the first visit, I'll figure out what you should do on the next one.
#24
Quote by ♣ßRØDËRSÈÑ♣
No, forget what those losers say. You should right off the bat, ask her where the bathroom is. Preceed to have loud, nasty dehrria in their toilet for a good hour and a half. Don't flush. When you are done, come out of the bathroom without washing your hands, and shake her moms hand. Right as you do that let out a big stinky fart. Excuse yourself then return to the bathroom. Stay in there until her dad comes home. When he comes home, rush out of the bathroom with your pants around your ankles and vigorously shake his hand while saying "pleased to meet you", then run back to the bathroom. This is when you hide in the cabinet below the sink. Hide in there until they are convinced that you are gone, or have disappeared. Wait until her mother goes to the bathroom in there, and start ripping huge farts. Be giggling as you do this. When she opens up the cabinets and finds you in there, begin to cry and tell her you are doing all of this because you love her daughter.

That is the first visit, I'll figure out what you should do on the next one.

Did....A May '08er.....make a funny?
#25
Quote by ♣ßRØDËRSÈÑ♣
No, forget what those losers say. You should right off the bat, ask her where the bathroom is. Preceed to have loud, nasty dehrria in their toilet for a good hour and a half. Don't flush. When you are done, come out of the bathroom without washing your hands, and shake her moms hand. Right as you do that let out a big stinky fart. Excuse yourself then return to the bathroom. Stay in there until her dad comes home. When he comes home, rush out of the bathroom with your pants around your ankles and vigorously shake his hand while saying "pleased to meet you", then run back to the bathroom. This is when you hide in the cabinet below the sink. Hide in there until they are convinced that you are gone, or have disappeared. Wait until her mother goes to the bathroom in there, and start ripping huge farts. Be giggling as you do this. When she opens up the cabinets and finds you in there, begin to cry and tell her you are doing all of this because you love her daughter.

That is the first visit, I'll figure out what you should do on the next one.


Wow, it must be quite a bitch to sign in huh?
McLovin is my hero!

It's not the going that the pit cares about.
It's the coming.
#26
In reality, just take it easy, appear confident and calm, even if you feel like you're going to piss yourself. Don't be outside of normal in any way.
#28
Be the same around her mom the way you are around her, act cool and act like you don't give a ****.
Not like a douchebag, but you don't want to be a "yes mam, please, thank you" kind of guy, because she'll know/think you like her daughter for one reason and one reason only

So you have to just be cool and smooth- just carry on a general conversation- just be fun and happy and outgoing- confidence is key
And we will weave in and out of sanity unnoticed
Swirling in blissfully restless visions of all our bleary progress
Glowing in radiant madness
#29
I'll tell you the most well guarded secret.

Be-Yourself.
Need fashion advice?

Quote by PaperStSoapCo
I wish I had a dick like a black guy instead of my little white dick.

Quote by JoelTheShredder
i love you more than words can express jean.


I saw Rick Astley in Quebec City, on April 10th 2009. Best day of my life!
#31
find out what she likes, see if you have anything in common. Take it from there.
I actually worked with my first gf's mum, kinda of awkward, but we just spoke of that stuff
#32
think before you speak, dont sweat it, something funny will probably happen
the first time i met my girlfriends parents, they saw us making out at the movies.

making out**

Hi Brit,"

oh Hey mom! This is Travis

I can see that.......


****...
SUBSCRIBE!

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#33
Quote by TC1223
Piss on the rug


but what if it ties the living room together?
5 e-cookies to whoever gets this

edit:
Quote by ♣ßRØDËRSÈÑ♣
No, forget what those losers say. You should right off the bat, ask her where the bathroom is. Preceed to have loud, nasty dehrria in their toilet for a good hour and a half. Don't flush. When you are done, come out of the bathroom without washing your hands, and shake her moms hand. Right as you do that let out a big stinky fart. Excuse yourself then return to the bathroom. Stay in there until her dad comes home. When he comes home, rush out of the bathroom with your pants around your ankles and vigorously shake his hand while saying "pleased to meet you", then run back to the bathroom. This is when you hide in the cabinet below the sink. Hide in there until they are convinced that you are gone, or have disappeared. Wait until her mother goes to the bathroom in there, and start ripping huge farts. Be giggling as you do this. When she opens up the cabinets and finds you in there, begin to cry and tell her you are doing all of this because you love her daughter.

That is the first visit, I'll figure out what you should do on the next one.


ROLFMAO!!!!! Do this...
We fear violence less than our own feelings. Personal, private, solitary pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict.
Jim Morrison
#35
Quote by ilovemySG
think before you speak, dont sweat it, something funny will probably happen
the first time i met my girlfriends parents, they saw us making out at the movies.

making out**

Hi Brit,"

oh Hey mom! This is Travis

I can see that.......


****...

I'm Travis.

Quote by ♣ßRØDËRSÈÑ♣
No, forget what those losers say. You should right off the bat, ask her where the bathroom is. Preceed to have loud, nasty dehrria in their toilet for a good hour and a half. Don't flush. When you are done, come out of the bathroom without washing your hands, and shake her moms hand. Right as you do that let out a big stinky fart. Excuse yourself then return to the bathroom. Stay in there until her dad comes home. When he comes home, rush out of the bathroom with your pants around your ankles and vigorously shake his hand while saying "pleased to meet you", then run back to the bathroom. This is when you hide in the cabinet below the sink. Hide in there until they are convinced that you are gone, or have disappeared. Wait until her mother goes to the bathroom in there, and start ripping huge farts. Be giggling as you do this. When she opens up the cabinets and finds you in there, begin to cry and tell her you are doing all of this because you love her daughter.

That is the first visit, I'll figure out what you should do on the next one.

Damn, I wasn't nearly this cool back in November '07. I don't think I'm this cool now either. I'm gonna go spank the monkey and cry now...
last.fm[/url}
Last edited by HelpTravesty at May 13, 2008,
#36
Be yourself and act natural.


Dont be a "Mam, may I please have some *insert random word of speech*?" kind of guy, but at least say "thank you" every so often.


Don't come across as a Metalhead, as hard as that may seem for some of us here at UG. Just stay cool and dont sweat it.
Got a question about Baritone guitars? Feel free to PM me.

Thanks to UG, I converted from Metalcore to some "real" Metal.
#38
Quote by faultyy
ask her where she gets her top lip waxed, then reccomend she gets her money back... Works every time, also comment on her daughters child bearing hips, but reccomend she teaches her to stay in the kitchen more often. Then send them both to the kitchen while you steal anything that looks like it may be worth money

^this

EDIT: Ninjadude I want my e-cookies. That rug reallay tied the room together, did it not?
TheBurningFish wrote:
I don't mean to generalise but I don't believe the average Coldplay fan is a massive musical theory nut.


FS/FT: Cort SP1 Stratocaster
Zoom GFX5 fx processor
Washburn BD40 amp
$100 each OBO
Last edited by emr_steelmech at May 13, 2008,
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