#1
"Longview, Washington.
Population: 153;


The sun is a mercurial leak in the sky;
bleeding slowly and thoughtfully into the salty waves below it.
Nelson again lifts his head from the typewriter and stares
intently toward the light reflected on water.

i can't take another setting sun.

With that he stands and runs to the violent shore in strong, determined strides.
His eyes swell with tears as he charges heavily against the tide and begins to swim.
The water is freezing, undoubtedly, and his skin soon pales to a wan, hypothermic blue.


[The camera cuts to Nelson's view. From here, we see the void between the sun and the water grow with each stroke, creating the illusion that the sun is rising.]

Nelson is exhausted and can no longer see the shore.
He flails his arms and legs about in the water as he screams desperately.
A suspenseful pause.
The sun fades as though extinguished by the shore and Nelson sinks
quietly until the screen fades to black.


Last edited by Arthur Curry at May 13, 2008,
#6
love this piece. great work, as usual!

"Longview, Washington.
Population: 153;
but no one has ever really lived here."

^ my favorite bit.
ADELOS
POP PUNK
for fans of...

Motion City Soundtrack, Get Up Kids, Jimmy Eat World, Transit, Brand New, Dashboard Confessional, Early November, Fall Out Boy, Jawbreaker, Polar Bear Club, The Story So Far, the Wonder Years, Something Corporate.
#7
thanks. i made some changes. i don't think i'm ever going to stop editing this one. Nothing seems right.
#8
i love the voice your work percieves.
it always lets me know that you're far from being a "thoughtless" writer, and your words are precisely chosen.

i don't like this nearly as much as it's most recent predecessor, but i can definitely tell who it came from.
#9
oOo.

Bump~
turn me back into the pet that i was when we met,
i was happier then with no mind-set.