Page 1 of 2
#1
Alright. So I have this problem. There is this female stalker that wants to do me. Problem is, she's the cousin of one of my friends. This friend is black...but that's not a problem really. Anyway, do you guys want to help me get her off my back.

No, I don't have a picture.
Hey look, a stoner/doom album.

GENERATION 27: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

E-father of TheSPillow/Sam
E-brothers with Entity0009
#4
do her, be crap at it, she'll leave you alone... or stick it in her pooper, that may stop her wanting to do it again
I've Made You A Drawing of a Giraffe Fucking an Elephant. Notice How His Moustache Looks Just Like Mine.

Your Mother's Got a Penis
#5
Quote by ♣ßRØDËRSÈÑ♣
How is that a problem?


I don't know what she looks like. If she was hot. I'd be banging down her door and banging her down door.
Hey look, a stoner/doom album.

GENERATION 27: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

E-father of TheSPillow/Sam
E-brothers with Entity0009
#6
I had a fat, ugly, 4-year-younger-than-me stalker girl once.

That sucked.
Survivor of the St. John's Lockdown
Quote by SG thrasher

The thread-starter is a legend.
Seriously, who thinks "Shit, i'm gonna die, BRB, Ima' tell UG."?

Quote by The_Paranoia

Congratz man, you are a true, American Hero.
Go Schneiderman!

Gun Facts: Educate Yourself
#8
Quote by cjblack532
I don't know what she looks like. If she was hot. I'd be banging down her door and banging her down door.

The paper sack, my friend. The paper sack over her head always works.
#9
Quote by Schneiderman
I had a fat, ugly, 4-year-younger-than-me stalker girl once.

That sucked.



You banged her right? Hell I would have, she must have been tight as hell!!!!!


"That ain't right" - Bob Saget

anybody wanna put anything here just let me know
#10
Quote by cjblack532
Alright. So I have this problem. There is this female stalker that wants to do me. Problem is, she's the cousin of one of my friends. This friend is black...but that's not a problem really. Anyway, do you guys want to help me get her off my back.
.


You will think differently when he rallies his gang-banging negroid friends.


Obviously I am joking...
#12
Quote by cjblack532
This friend is black...but that's not a problem really.

If it's not a problem, then why do you mention it? Sounds like it's a problem to you.

Tell her to **** off or you'll tell her family/call the cops/tell her friends how crazy she is.
Quote by markr17
go eat a hermanpherdite.
#13
Quote by ♣ßRØDËRSÈÑ♣
The paper sack, my friend. The paper sack over her head always works.


Despite the fancy name "♣ßRØDËRSÈÑ♣", you are in fact the coolest 08'er I have ever met.
McLovin is my hero!

It's not the going that the pit cares about.
It's the coming.
#14
Quote by Beakwithteeth
You will think differently when he rallies his gang-banging negroid friends.


Obviously I am joking...


He's gay. He doesn't have any "gang-banging negroid" friends, I don't think. Just scene kids with stick arms and thespians with props.
Hey look, a stoner/doom album.

GENERATION 27: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

E-father of TheSPillow/Sam
E-brothers with Entity0009
#15
Quote by Metal claw
How does she stalk you exactly?



This.


Answer this.
Got a question about Baritone guitars? Feel free to PM me.

Thanks to UG, I converted from Metalcore to some "real" Metal.
#18
Paper bag ftw.
Quote by syk3d
"ahh......yeah. I've just got this old acoustic. Will it be ok if I bring it on board?"
"drop your pants."

#19
ask her for a dirty sanchez and say you want to give her a cleveland steamer (and a hot carl if you have enough left over), then proceed to offer her a pink sock and after all of that say "now the fun begins!" and angry pirate her when you finish and give her an Asian tumbler down the stairs, in which you shall donkey punch her if she is still screaming.

That's one way.
#22
Quote by Metalcoresoul
This.


Answer this.


She keeps texting me saying she's horny and she wants sex. It is actually quite funny.

Quote by CFH_Shredder
Mmm are you gay?


No. I like tits.
Hey look, a stoner/doom album.

GENERATION 27: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

E-father of TheSPillow/Sam
E-brothers with Entity0009
#23
Quote by cjblack532
She keeps texting me saying she's horny and she wants sex. It is actually quite funny.


No. I like tits.


That doesn't mean your not gay. Female or male tits?
#24
Quote by Mask_Of_Sanity
ask her for a dirty sanchez and say you want to give her a cleveland steamer (and a hot carl if you have enough left over), then proceed to offer her a pink sock and after all of that say "now the fun begins!" and angry pirate her when you finish and give her an Asian tumbler down the stairs, in which you shall donkey punch her if she is still screaming.

That's one way.


The alaskan firedragon always gets them
#27
Quote by Schneiderman
I had a fat, ugly, 4-year-younger-than-me stalker girl once.

That sucked.

Had something similar. Few years back, we would always hang at this friends house. Our soundboard guy used to have this gaggle of chicks with him all the time. One of them looked like this miniature version of Janis Joplin. Short, pudgy, greazy hair nasty looking glasses. She'd constantly chase me around the house trying to take pictures of me and grope me. Drove me nuts. Didn't see her again for 2-3 years. Then I see her at a friends bands show. Didn't even recognize her until she started talking to me. Yeah, she grew up, grew into the baby fat (at 16 can you call it baby fat?), hair bleached blond, lost the glasses and turned into a massive hottie. So much so she was a stripper for one of the nicer clubs in the area. And she still was into me. Got my cell number, kept coming down to my work to try and get me to go to lunch with her, etc. Dumbass that I was, I had morals and was dating someone at the time and told her I couldn't do anything with her. Cripes I wish I didn't have morals sometimes.
#28
Quote by dylpikle9
The alaskan firedragon always gets them


That can be a final blow if she's still up after the donkey punch.
#30
Get pics of her. Say something like "I'm horny too send me noods so I can play with myself"
and if she's hot, take advantage of her until you get bored, then dump her, and board up your windows and doors until she gets over her violent depression.
Last edited by CowboyUp at May 13, 2008,
#31
Yeah,

Paper Bag..

to "♣ßRØDËRSÈÑ♣" , I have always laughed at everything you post. I can tell you are going to be a worthy UG'er.

08'er's FTW.
#32
Quote by Schneiderman
I had a fat, ugly, 4-year-younger-than-me stalker girl once.

That sucked.
...more like SHE SUCKED! oh yeah! *searches desperately for a high five* well, screw you guys then!
#33
Quote by dio_dude
...more like SHE SUCKED! oh yeah! *searches desperately for a high five* well, screw you guys then!



What




EDIT- Just toy around with her.
#34
You could just tell her how you feel about her or lack thereof. Thats what you usually do.
Quote by Lil Macker
I voted 9, cause I would only let my mum give me a handjob...

Quote by brennsy
SathiaSun for president

Un-Banned! Boy, does it feel great to be back.
Join the Bear Grylls Foundation group!
#35
Do the spiderman! Seriously, this is your perfect chance to go down in history by performing an epic sex move. Seriously, you don't care about her so you don't have to worry about pissing her off!

If you don't know what the spiderman is, its when your doing her, and you pull out, cum in your hand and fling it at her while mimicking spiderman's web shooting pose.

Thats what i'd do...
The B-52 Bombers Group!
Own a B-52 amp? Join the club!

Quote by nashawa
He may be a troll, but he's an incredibly successful troll. So kudos on that.
#36
Despite the fancy name "♣ßRØDËRSÈÑ♣", you are in fact the coolest 08'er I have ever met.
#37
Quote by ♣ßRØDËRSÈÑ♣
The paper sack, my friend. The paper sack over her head always works.


OR if she's realllly ugly, you could do a double bagger. It's when you put a bag over her head and your also because you're afraid you'll get seen.
#38
Despite the fancy name "Dilweed", you are in fact the coolest 08'er I have ever met.
#40
Quote by dio_dude
...more like SHE SUCKED! oh yeah! *searches desperately for a high five* well, screw you guys I'm Going home


fixed...

EDIT:

dude... stalkers suck...
had one to the point she claimed she was married to me
you can either do 2 things with a stalker..
ignore them they'll lose interest n go away...
or..
just screw em n they'll get off ur back
Quote by Zugunruhe
"sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will violate me sexually."
Last edited by pogo the clown at May 13, 2008,
Page 1 of 2