I havnt really decided what part should be the chorus or anything, or if i even want a chorus, its pretty much just a rambling verse, and its not finished. When it is, ill put the complete version up. But feedback, and suggestions are apreciated. For the record im going for a Nick Drake type of sound for this one

Sitting on the concrete corner, watching her she goes no further
Her back hair, and blue eyed stare
She wants to laugh but she cant
Down the road so many places i could go
But will it take so long, it is wrong
Like her i am confused, but unlike her i am not amused
When she sees me i look away, and i laugh to myself
Because theres so much to say
She is sad and so am I
But thinking of her makes me sigh
Wait all day just to see her for a second
As i lay in bed, she pounds on the door to my head