#1
I wrote this, but haven't had much time to look over it. Question is, does it make sense? Also, I get most of my influence from bands like Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, Seether, etc.

Bitter

Intro
(Instrumental Intro)

Chorus
(Instrumental Chorus)

Verse
I try to act like I do care, I look into your evil glare
The truth is I can't really help it, I can't control it one bit

Bridge 1

Pre-Chorus
So step away, feel my pain
You better pray, That you'll remain
So Step away!
You better pray!

Chorus
I could be bitter
I''ll make sure I try to pretend
I could be bitter
I could be bitter until the end

Bridge 2

Verse
I get the feeling I don't fit in, It starts to get under my skin
I wish I could stop this nightmare, I wish I could end my dispair

Bridge 1

Pre-Chorus
So step away, feel my pain
You better pray, That you'll remain
So Step away!
You better pray!

Chorus
I could be bitter
I''ll make sure I try to pretend
I could be bitter
I could be bitter until the end

Solo

Chorus
I could be bitter
I''ll make sure I try to pretend
I could be bitter
I could be bitter until the end

Outro
I could be bitter
I will be bitter until the end


Please crit.
#2
It is quite powerful...
I think ya may have to chnge the title into step away...

Is it a herd core song or something?
Every form of control over another person is a crime

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#3
^ It has an metal and alternative rock influence. Much like my favorite band, Breaking Benjamin. If you haven't already listened to them, I advise it.
#4
It reminds me of Until the End by B.B. (I will go on until the end)
But that is your influences.. I think i would change that but the rhythm of it sounds good just reading it and everything makes sense, nice job
#6
Quote by Myxer
wow that's epic so powerful...

heh. Is that sarcasm or something. I dunno it's just the 3 periods.
#7
hey, can my band use this?
i love you;re lyrics so much, if we're allowed ta, if not, then i dunno :P
they're really awesome
#8
Well, my band is gonna use it. Maybe after we get a recording and all that, I'll give you the tabs and stuff. You'd just have to say that I wrote it.
#9
its rather short. add some more length to it and more information; i don't really get why you feel so 'bitter'.
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Motion City Soundtrack, Get Up Kids, Jimmy Eat World, Transit, Brand New, Dashboard Confessional, Early November, Fall Out Boy, Jawbreaker, Polar Bear Club, The Story So Far, the Wonder Years, Something Corporate.
#10
Well, the way we (the band) have it. The verses go a bit slower